im 17, and i think i might have antisocial personality disorder

Hi, i recently came across a personality disorder test, and these were my results:

Paranoid: High
Schizoid: Low
Schizotypal: Moderate
Antisocial: High
Borderline: Low
Histrionic: High
Narcissistic: High
Avoidant: Low
Dependent: Low
Obsessive-Compulsive: High

now, some of these might apply to me a little bit, but the symptoms really line up for antisocial personality disorder. plus im not too woried about the others. it really really bothers me to think that i have this. i cant help but think "why me?"

symtoms that i have:

*less empathy for other people than i should, if much at all.

*during my early childhood my parents said i was a serious problem child (age 2- 4) but sort of grew out of it. they aways thought something must have "happened" to me, which is why i was so difficullt.

*family members have told me im self centered.

* i started stealing things when i was like in 4th grade. however i dont steal anymore because i just want to be a good person.

* in preschool there was a pet hamster that the kids would take home, when it was my turn to take it home, i killed it. i have no memory of this but iguess this is what happened.

*i used to be mean to my cat, untill i was about 14 or 15 actually. i only remember one instance where i actually hit the cat(very lightly but it still scared the cat) and generally i was very insensitive twords it. i know, it really sickens me to think about. i dont know why i would do this crap. anyway i still have the same cat but im nice to it now. but if i WAS to be mean to it now, im not sure if i would feel sorry for it or not, honestly i dont know. i remember the last time i mistreated the cat i burst into tears and in my head i said something like "shes just a poor little cat she did nothing to you why would you do that you %#@&#!!!!" and hated my own guts for it. been nice to my cat since.

* i get poor grades in school and work wayyyy under my potential. i could an A student if i wanted to, but for some reason i aways flake out and dont do my homework and am generally irresponsible.

*probably more but i cant think of anything else, i think this is enough evidence.

i recently decided im never going to steal, lie, or cheat again. but say if i WAS to do these things, i would probably not feel bad about it.

contridictions of the symptoms:

*i remember a year ago, i was watching the animal planet channel, and they were showing a video of a dog being put to sleep and all the kids in the dogs family crying, and i couldn;t help but cry .there have been other times like where i feel super sensitive, also. i dont know why i remember this example, but i do.

* the other day i was thinking about my mothers life. and how hard it must be (shes doing fine, but she works very hard all day, comes home, cooks dinner, and then does it all over again the next day. when trying to imangine what it would be like to be her, like litterally imanging that her life was mine, i started to cry. i think i might have been feeling empathy.

end

ive noticed some situations where i had to fake empathy. the most recent example that my older sister (who i adore, by the way) is going to have to have a foot operation, where basically all the bones in her foot will be broken and she wont be able to walk for like 2 months. when telling me she started to cry. i said something like "awww poor (name ommited), im so sorry...) in that kind of voice. but i didnt really feel anything inside. just blank. anytime im in any sort of trouble or am unhappy she shows this deep deep empathy for me, like she feels my pain herself.l expression (usually when im in a situation where i feel awkward and shy, and i also tend to speak in a more monotone voice, too.)


i also like smoking pot a little more than i should.

anyway im really scared about this. i just want to be a normal guy, and live a happy life. what do you suggest i do? should i tell my parents that i think i might have this? do i even have this, or just a personality that is a little closer to the antisocial personality, not the full blown antisocial personality disorder?? had i not found this quiz i would have had no idea that any of these symptoms go together. i feel better allready, just getting all this crap off my chest.

i should also mention that ive been diagnosed with ADD. I've seen therapists in the past but none of them suspected this, and of the bozos tried to put me on antidepresants the first time i saw him. (im not putting down therapists in general, just the crappy ones i went too) should i ask my parrents if i can see a therapist? will they think im crazy? is it even worth it since apparently theres no cure for this(which scares me even more) please dont tell me that i have to be 18 to be diagnosed, im going to be under a year, i doubt much will change in that time. im sorry this is so long, i just feel like have to mention everything. anyway thanks in advance

and i know i sound like a big jerk telling you guys that i used to mistreat my cat and all, but i really didnt know better and im trying to be a good person thesedays. it embarasses me to have to mention it, but i have to.

If there is something in your thoughts, feelings, or behavior that causes you a lot of distress or interferes with your ability to live your life the way you want to, then it wouldn't hurt to talk to a therapist about it. Basically, I think that if you feel like you could benefit from therapy, you're probably right. Most people could.

As to antisocial personality disorder, most people who have that are not concerned about it and wouldn't worry about whether or not they should be treated for it. That is why it is so difficult to cure - people who have it don't often care about being cured. You do care about how your actions affect others, and you feel remorse when you do things that hurt someone. Impulsivity is a symptom of ADHD, and that could probably account for a lot of your symptoms. Impulsivity is something that therapy can help with.

I think it is a good sign that you are interested in improving yourself! That makes me feel very hopeful for you.

Take Care, and let us know what you decide to do and how it goes.

Rap

interesting. in general im a troubled guy - im not sure if A.P.D is to blame or not, if i even have it, that is. from what ive read about the disorder, people with it have an constant "empty" feeling, have no real emotions, and any emotions they do show are simply mimics of others emotions. and strangely im not sure if my emotions are real, im just not sure. this is such a silly question but how do i know this?

you mentiond that i care how my actions effect others - im not saying i don't exactly, but what gave you this impression?


i also would like to share another "symptom"

around 2001 my mother made a "terrorist fund" in case there was a terrorist attack. (which is ridiculous, i know) it was essentially $500 inside an envelope hidden deep in her closet. last year i wanted to buy a 4 track recorder terribly, but had no money. i decided to take some money out of the fund (initially telling myself that i would pay it back)
but any time i came into a little money the last thing i wanted to do was throw it back into the envelope, which i figured my mom had probably forgotten by then anyway. eventually i decided i would keep all of the money, since she forgot about it anyway. my sister found the envelope in my room and told my mom. she was extremely disappointed in me and i actually had to go live with my dad for a while. i stole from my own mother, and to this day cannot say that i really feel any gulit about it. what did i do 6 months after i got back? i took MORE money (sincerely telling myself that i would only be borrowing the money, and i did pay it back)

all in all, would you say that i probably don't have this? are there different levels of personality disorders? or do you either have it or not have it? anyway, thank you for the response, it makes me feel better allready. because as i mentioned before, the thought of me actually having this really bothers me. (because i feel like this severley reduces my chances of having an enjoyable life, and i still have my whole life ahead of me) it bothers me to the point where i almost feel like i should just kill myself now, instead of living with this crap. no, i probably wont, but its an idea thats been coming into my head more and more thesedays.

actually i have found some more contridictions. when doing more research i read that "Research has shown that individuals with antisocial personality disorder are indifferent to the possibility of physical pain or many punishments, and show no indications that they experience fear when so threatened" this is DEFINATLY not true with me. i almost got in a fight at school last year, the guy wanted to beat me up, i would have had no chance against him, and basically, i was terrifed.

also

" irritability and aggressiveness, as indicated by repeated physical fights or assaults"

and

"reckless disregard for safety of self or others"
(im actually kind of worry about that stuff alot, making sure other people in the car have seat belts on etc)

(symptoms listed on this site)

both definatly do not apply to me. im not a violent person at all, however i can be passive aggresive at times, but thats a little different.

i would appreciate it if someone else gave me their opinion as well, i really need as much advise as i can get.

macklin,

hi and welcome!

no, you don't sound like someone who has APD. there's too much that you seem to care about in your actions and those of others.

it does sound like you could really benefit from talking with a good therapist though. you can talk over your concerns, what scares you about yourself today, how to change those behaviors, etc.

i wish you more than well!

keep in touch!
KD

Macklin, if it helps any I am just coming to terms with some of the same issues you are going through now. I am now 25, but have expierenced a lot of the samethings you have talked about. The thing is, i've always had a feeling that something wasn't right, but it's only now that I'm older that I've realised something definitely is not right with my brain chemistry. I've got an appointment with my Doc on Weds. and I've got to tell you, I'm nerves as all hell. The last thing I want to hear is that I'm crazy. But hey, you have to play the cards you've been dealt, and try and help yourself as best you can.

From everything ive read about your experiences, it just seems like you're scard to face reality. I mean, you know yourself better than any therapist and obviously you've realised something's not right. Now it's up to you to take the next step in order to fix yourself. Cause I've got to be honest with you, it doesn't get any easier. I've been struggling for 25 years and just realising there's something wrong, and it takes a real toll on you, phyically, emotionally and psychologically. Not to mention the strain you put on your personal relationships with people. These are the things you will realise are the most important in life, and if you dont realise it now, there's something wrong. Although you do seem to care about your actions and how they affect the people you love, which it good. It's just a matter of taking that next step. You should really tell your parents what you are going through-if they are understatnding. Anyways good luck with everything and don't give up.

I'll let you know what my Doc, says on Weds, hopefully it will be of some help.

thanks alot for the insight - but can you be sure?

how can all these symptoms be explained?

why did i torment animals when growing up?

why did i start stealing when only 9, and when my family had plenty of money?

this stuff isnt normal, so what made me do these type of things?

i know my parents divorced when i was around 4 or 5, and it definatly took a toll on me, but thats pretty common and i doubt it attributes to these symptoms. anyway, thankyou so much for the help

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kimmydawn said:
no, you don't sound like someone who has APD. there's too much that you seem to care about in your actions and those of others.

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i agree with this. i think the fact that you regret what you did as a younger boy, and you show remorse almost in and of istelf discounts the diagnosis of APD. it sounds as though you do realise when you do wrong and you regret it, and it sounds as though you don't disregard loaws/conventions, even though you sometimes break them, you know they are there and you know it's wrong to break them.

i also agree that talking to a psychotherapist would be helpful good luck xx

Just the fact that your worried about ASPD might mean you don't have it. Usually, they would not be so bothered by it. If you took this personality test online, don't take it to heart. You need to see a psych to be diagonosed properly. You really have a lot of high catagories that would be contradictory to ASPD. I really think you need to get in somewhere, especially with the ADD.

First of all, those online tests aren't exactly accurate. There aren't enough questions, for a start, and the questions aren't applicable to everyone. I've come up schizoaffective on some of htem, and I know it's just some of the limits on answers in the tests. Proper testing would show that I"m hardly schizo-anything.

Second, from what you've written, sounds as though you're anxious, and you're a little obsessive, and otherwise anything BUT antisocial PD.

And lastly, at 17 you can't be diagnosed as ASPD. Period. That's one of the criteria, and it's there for a reason.

Take that test again when you're 22, or have your best friend go through the criteria of the disorder with you at taht time. You'll see that you're not, that the criteria doesn't fit you, and that you're putting this energy into worrying about something that you needn't worry about at all.

Good luck

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Genevieve said:
First of all, those online tests aren't exactly accurate. There aren't enough questions, for a start, and the questions aren't applicable to everyone. I've come up schizoaffective on some of htem, and I know it's just some of the limits on answers in the tests. Proper testing would show that I"m hardly schizo-anything.

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I agree. I recognize the test you took. I'm a second year psychology major and there's been a debate about the test results coming away from that test.

Yes, it doesn't have enough questions, definetely. Also, the line at which you start on any given category listed (ie. borderline) starts with the "Low" result. To be an accurate test, it MUST start off as being a nonexsistant result (ie. None/not at all)

dude, you said you smoke pot alot? I dint read all of the posts, but I used to smoke a lot of pot nd that could be why your "missing" some feelings and then feeling bad about it later, and the reason for some of the other things..People say its only pot, but if your stoned a lot it has an effect on many areas which you may not realize...I was a major pothead for years and was prettty much like you describe yourself, but I was too young and stoned to realize it...and I would wager a hundred bucks you either didnt really kill the hamster or that it was an accident....

OH, and I forgot to add something to my previous post... That type of test can only be reliable if taken more than once over a certain time frame. Since it is largely based on questions with no concrete or essentially never-changing answers, the only accuracy comes from doing it more than once.

So don't label yourself, because you might wind up putting more thought to "symptoms" which may not be a symptom of this particular disorder.

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justsignmeupalready said:
dude, you said you smoke pot alot? I dint read all of the posts, but I used to smoke a lot of pot nd that could be why your "missing" some feelings and then feeling bad about it later, and the reason for some of the other things..People say its only pot, but if your stoned a lot it has an effect on many areas which you may not realize...I was a major pothead for years and was prettty much like you describe yourself, but I was too young and stoned to realize it...and I would wager a hundred bucks you either didnt really kill the hamster or that it was an accident....

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most of the symptoms took place before i started smoking pot. and about the hampster, i dont know. i have a faint memory of being rough with it. apparently i crushed it with a wooden block. doesen't sound like it was an accident. kind of disturbing.i was only three, but still.

anyway im not really worried that i have this anymore. and i wasn't just getting the idea from the test, i went through a symptom checklist with my little sister, and almost every one applied to me. i can get pretty emotional sometimes, which is why i dont really think i have it..like today in class we watched a WWII re-enactment and i almost started crying. i definatly have some of the trates, but im not going to worry about it.

1. failure to conform to social norms with respect to lawful behaviors as indicated by repeatedly performing acts that are grounds for arrest...yes. i used to steal things from stores. however i decided not to simply because i want to be a better person.

2. deceitfulness, as indicated by repeated lying, use of aliases, or conning others for personal profit or pleasure. maybe...i dont con others, but i do sometimes lie to get out of trouble. i also tend to blame my mistakes on others.

3. impulsivity or failure to plan ahead...yep. this may be part of my ADD however

4. irritability and aggressiveness, as indicated by repeated physical fights or assaults...no..never even been in a fight. im a big chicken. i CAN get a little irratable sometimes, but im pretty sure we all can.

5. reckless disregard for safety of self or others
consistent irresponsibility, as indicated by repeated
failure to sustain steady work or honor financial obligations...no and yes...i do not have a disregard for my safty or safty of others, quite the opposite. i am quite irresponsible though. also kind of part of ADD.

5. lack of remorse, as indicated by being indifferent to or rationalizing having hurt, mistreated, or stolen from another...maybe..i stole 200 dollars from my mother and had no remorse in doing so. i sort of felt like she owed me anyway. (probably not the real case). anyway i can feel guilt, but probably to a lesser extent than with most people. there have been plenty of times where i felt like i should have felt bad about something, but actually felt nothing inside. other times ive felt extrememly guilty about little things (happened when i was taking stratera).

stratera kind of gave me these mood swings. i remember one time my mom knocked on my door in the morning to get me up for school, and i said "im allready up, mother. im changing" but maybe she thought i was lying, and opened the door anyway? i got very very pissed off, screamed at her and slammed the door on her. something i had never done before. i felt SO gulity and was like running around my room in circles crying and saying to myself "WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT!!!SHES JUST TRYING TO HELP AND MAKE SURE YOU GET TO SCHOOL ON TIME..*cries"

and so naturally i went up and apoligized. so like, guilt is inside me, its just supressed and takes extreme emotions to let it out.

i might have allready mentioned this story, i dont really remember. i made this thread in a weed haze. i recently quit, by the way.

so what do you guys think? i probably dont have this?

whatever the case with me..im pretty sure im capable of living a functional life. becides all this weird stuff ive done, im basically normal. ive yet to have a real relationship, so i dont really know how those will work out. hopefully im capable of maintaing them.

also even though you guys seem to feel its inaccurate, i took that test again:

also about this, i feel like i had to click "yes" some of them because of past actions. should i only answer based on how i would act now?

Disorder | Rating
Paranoid: High
Schizoid: Low
Schizotypal: Moderate
Antisocial: High
Borderline: Very High
Histrionic: Very High
Narcissistic: High
Avoidant: High
Dependent: High
Obsessive-Compulsive: High

jesus. do i really have this stuff? i have alot of the symptoms for all of them. should i try to see a Doc and find out for sure? i feel like i def. have the Histrionic disorder. or maybe no the disorder, but i definatly have a craving for attention and maybe praise. i dont know why. it doesen't really show much in real life, but sometimes i talk in experimental music chatrooms, and people accuse me acting certain ways for attention. even though im usually not consciously aware of why im doing it. great now im all worried about my potential personality disorders again...

i took it again and answered it slightly differently, for things i wasnt sure about. i might have been lying to myself on some of them, though, i kind of felt that way, though im not sure

Disorder | Rating
Paranoid: Moderate
Schizoid: Low
Schizotypal: Low
Antisocial: Moderate
Borderline: Low
Histrionic: High
Narcissistic: High
Avoidant: Low
Dependent: Moderate
Obsessive-Compulsive: High

how can i overcome my selfishness? if i conscious try to be more considerate the needs of others, will it eventually become a part of me, without having to think about it? EDIT: apparently its much more than that..
http://www.toad.net/~arcturus/dd/narc.htm

i feel like it probably is a real issue. ive realized this is more along the lines of what i actually have. not APD. how oh how can i overcome this? is it impossible? is this stuff like hard-wired into me?

i was reading up on it and "NPD traits are common in adolescents and may not necessarily lead to NPD in adulthood."

so maybe i will grow out of it naturally...but maybe not

anyway as you guys can probably tell i am very interested in improving myself for the better...

sorry for all this posting

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Hi, i recently came across a personality disorder test, and these were my results:

Paranoid: High
Schizoid: Low
Schizotypal: Moderate
Antisocial: High
Borderline: Low
Histrionic: High
Narcissistic: High
Avoidant: Low
Dependent: Low
Obsessive-Compulsive: High

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Online tests are, to put it mildly, total %#@&#!. Disregard them.

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now, some of these might apply to me a little bit, but the symptoms really line up for antisocial personality disorder. plus im not too woried about the others. it really really bothers me to think that i have this. i cant help but think "why me?"

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If you were a socio, it wouldnt bother you in the least. Why should it? Its just information. Its useful to know what you 'have', but hardly soemthing to waste time bemoaning your fate over.

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symtoms that i have:

*less empathy for other people than i should, if much at all.

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Socios have NO empathy for others, not less.

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*during my early childhood my parents said i was a serious problem child (age 2- 4) but sort of grew out of it. they aways thought something must have "happened" to me, which is why i was so difficullt.

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Who isnt diffuclt at that age? Were you the first child?

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*family members have told me im self centered.

* i started stealing things when i was like in 4th grade. however i dont steal anymore because i just want to be a good person.

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Socios dont steal for one reason only: they dont want to go to gaol. Wanting to be a good person is just pathetic for someone who thinks he may be socio.

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* in preschool there was a pet hamster that the kids would take home, when it was my turn to take it home, i killed it. i have no memory of this but iguess this is what happened.

*i used to be mean to my cat, untill i was about 14 or 15 actually. i only remember one instance where i actually hit the cat(very lightly but it still scared the cat) and generally i was very insensitive twords it. i know, it really sickens me to think about. i dont know why i would do this crap. anyway i still have the same cat but im nice to it now. but if i WAS to be mean to it now, im not sure if i would feel sorry for it or not, honestly i dont know. i remember the last time i mistreated the cat i burst into tears and in my head i said something like "shes just a poor little cat she did nothing to you why would you do that you %#@�!!!!" and hated my own guts for it. been nice to my cat since.

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Kids are cruel to animals. When I was a kid, I tied my pet dog to a tree and pelted it with rocks till it was dead. Then I went home and eat my dinner. The fact that being 'mean' to a cat made you /cry virtually prooves youre not a socio.

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* i get poor grades in school and work wayyyy under my potential. i could an A student if i wanted to, but for some reason i aways flake out and dont do my homework and am generally irresponsible.

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That just shows youre lazy. While socios do tend to underperform, its because they cant see any point in schooling, and see it a boring waste of time. You sound more like you have a fear of success.

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i recently decided im never going to steal, lie, or cheat again. but say if i WAS to do these things, i would probably not feel bad about it.

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Making such a decision is not at all compatable with being a socio.

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contridictions of the symptoms:

*i remember a year ago, i was watching the animal planet channel, and they were showing a video of a dog being put to sleep and all the kids in the dogs family crying, and i couldn;t help but cry .there have been other times like where i feel super sensitive, also. i dont know why i remember this example, but i do.

* the other day i was thinking about my mothers life. and how hard it must be (shes doing fine, but she works very hard all day, comes home, cooks dinner, and then does it all over again the next day. when trying to imangine what it would be like to be her, like litterally imanging that her life was mine, i started to cry. i think i might have been feeling empathy.

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Im not an expert on empathy, but that sounds like a textbook example of it to me.

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ive noticed some situations where i had to fake empathy. the most recent example that my older sister (who i adore, by the way) is going to have to have a foot operation, where basically all the bones in her foot will be broken and she wont be able to walk for like 2 months. when telling me she started to cry. i said something like "awww poor (name ommited), im so sorry...) in that kind of voice. but i didnt really feel anything inside. just blank. anytime im in any sort of trouble or am unhappy she shows this deep deep empathy for me, like she feels my pain herself.l expression (usually when im in a situation where i feel awkward and shy, and i also tend to speak in a more monotone voice, too.)

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Awkward and shy are totally alien to a socio. As is giving a %#@&#! about your sister.

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i also like smoking pot a little more than i should.

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Thats nice? And its relevant because...?

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anyway im really scared about this. i just want to be a normal guy, and live a happy life. what do you suggest i do? should i tell my parents that i think i might have this? do i even have this, or just a personality that is a little closer to the antisocial personality, not the full blown antisocial personality disorder?? had i not found this quiz i would have had no idea that any of these symptoms go together. i feel better allready, just getting all this crap off my chest.

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Feeling scared, and wanting to be normal, are totally impossible states of mind for a socio. We cant feel fear, and dont want to be normal. We should we? We're better than norms, we have all thier strengths and none of thier weaknesses.

To me, you sound almost textbook Borderline. I suggest you read up on BPD and keep taking the anti-depressants, cos youll need them when you see whats in store for you.