Returning to the old ways

Not sure if this is the right place to post this, it is a personality problem however probably not to the extent of a disorder.

I have found recently, especially within the last 6 - 8 months my personality problems finally started to go away. I have always had problems with exagerating things too much, and alot of times for some reason once i start i find it hard to stop until i go too far. This seemed to settle down alot around 6 months ago however it seems to be starting again, my thoughts just start racing asif i have no control over what im saying or thinking, then i realise ive gone too far with something i didnt even realise i was saying and i start to feel depressed over it and wonder why i said it or how people might judge me because of it. I have had this problem for many years including the time i was diagnosed with a mild psychosis which has improved dramatically in the last 12 months.

I currently have panic disorder which makes me panic alot when i leave the house or am in large open areas, within the last 4 months i have started drinking alcohol again, a little bit at first then it became a more regular thing because of how much it lowered my anxiety levels and allowed me to go outside without too much panic. I have also used recreational drugs about 2 or 3 times since new years. I believe this may have triggered off the pattern of thinking in my personality again. I have been off medication for 7 months now but am beginning to wonder if i should go see my doctor and go back onto a low dose of risperidone.

I was happy to be off the medication as my head felt alot cleared and calm once i stopped it, also my anxiety levels began to drop slowly, I just dont know if going back on it will help the personality and mood side of things. I am staying away from recreational drugs again now as I am scared i will run into more problems as a result, however drinking alcohol I will most probably continue to do around once a week because of the relief it gives me from my anxiety problems.

Im not sure why my personality is changing back to how it used to be, it has caused so many problems in the past and i finally thought i was making progress, really not sure what to do about it. I am thinking about possibly giving it afew more weeks to see if it begins to stabilise again however if it starts getting worse then i will need to go see my gp about it. I finally thought i was improving and becomming close to being a new and better person, the fact things could start to reverse back to how they were before is something i really hope dosn't happen.

I have been under a fair bit of financial pressure recently so stress levels are fairly high with me trying to budget things out and try and stop myself getting into a large debt, which might be adding to this problem also.

Anyways thanks for listening guys, I just had to explain things to someone, if anyone has any suggestions on what might be best to help with this problem please feel free to share them with me, I appreciate you taking the time to read this

sounds like you have alot on your plate. Stress often pulls us back into old coping mechanisms. Do you have any support for this season of time? Someone one you can talk about your fears and trials with? If not, therapy might be a good way to get this. I know it is frustrating going back to the old habits! Keep moving forward.

Sounds like you really don't want the ole ways. Is possible.