[Cosmo25]

I've lived a normal life all up until now. I have a loving and caring family and had a lot of emotions towards them and everyone around me. I even recently graduated from college, just a year ago and I had everything going for me and even had a fiance. I landed two jobs right after college and everything was perfect. However, weird things started to happen to me at work I stared to lose my breath and get a choking feeling while I was talking to people and my mind went in like a freezing mode where I couldn't think about normal things like family, friends, and fun things like going to the movies or just going shopping because I was so worried about the patients. Also, my life was in a black and white color or a dark color. Some days were in color. I also kept thinking that patients were going to die, but I kept going to work thinking that everything was going to go away and go back to normal. I might have been hearing voices or myself saying weird things to myself? A few months went by like this and I didn't tell anyone about this. I just thought the feelings would go away and I would feel relieved. I told my fiance some things and he just kept telling me that everything was going to be okay and I just kept going to work. Also, during this period I wasn't communicating or seeing my family members and just kept running crazy thoughts in my head. Then one day I just snapped and quit both my jobs. I decided I needed a mental break. Then when I was home with my family, my life turned back into color, but then I realized that I had no emotions like love anymore to my family members and I started to cry. It is the scariest thing in the world when you once had allot of emotions towards people and then you don't feel it towards them anymore. I want to so bad. Also when people are talking I don't always understand what they are saying to me and I can't think anymore. I can't plan or think while other people are talking I just listen to people communicate and I give like one word answers. Everything is broken up in my head and I can barley put sentences together. My family just thinks i'm depressed i don't know what to do. I freaked out and broke up with my fiance also. I can't feel the energy off of people anymore its like everyone is an object. It scares me and I have nightmares every night. I don't know what to do i'm not smart anymore or have any feelings toward people. My parents keep telling me they love me and i can't tell them that after 25 years that I don't love them anymore it would devastate them since I was always warm and bubbly and smart. I don't know what to do. I also get really bad migranes. Over a short period of time it is like i turned into a sociopath, but I do feel guilt that I let my parents down and myself down. I also have a lot of memory problems I can't remember hardly anything anyone tells me. i've been like this for a month.

[Travelinglady]

Hi! I do believe you need help, but you really need to get the bulk of it from a mental-health professional. I suspect you have some diagnosis, but I just am not sure what it might be.

We are here to support you, though, and to try to help. Please keep us informed with how things are going.