[Kirby654]

I'll try to explain this as best as I possibly can.

I am an individual thinking of violence as a bad thing. I feel as all humans have a proper excuse for their own actions and I think they're good people but their actions are sometimes the bad thing. I feel like I can be a friend with anyone. I feel like love is an incredible feeling that can't be explained with psychology.

However...

I feel that violence is common for humans and if they want they can apply it to one another. I feel like all humans are always selfish creatures with no actual feeling of helping one another. I feel like I don't wanna be friend with most as I feel that the people I try to befriend will just use me for their own benefits. I feel like psychology is a great way to manipulate people and reach my goals.

With common sense, those 2 seem oddly opposite to one another. One would assume that such a thing is caused by major traumas from the past but I feel like I've had a mostly completely normal life so such a thing should not be happening. It seems to be an interesting case of me desiring 2 things, even if one contradicts the other. I like to deduce and induce but at the same time I feel like it's pointless to do so. I'm trying to somehow combine these two sides but I fear that by doing so, I may only cause mental damage to others. One would assume that with such thoughts, not much normal would occur but it truly isn't.

Possible theories that I can think of at this very moment are:
-Stress or overload from events occurring in life.
-Worrying about impossible events.
-Phobias and fears.
-Fear of ones own personal actions.
-Excitement about learning about how one individual works, but whilst doing so, getting attracted emotionally to him or her.
-Over-thinking about events or ways I've thought at certain events.
-Over-study of myself to understand my own psychology and logic better.

I suppose this is the best I can come up with at this very moment. However, with more opinions I may come to a decent conclusion, rather than just thinking of my own theories about it. While I think that I have better psychological and logical capabilities than people my age, I do feel like I am still not as ready to understand what is beyond my own limits.

[spondiferous]

Welcome to PC.
This makes perfect sense to me. You are obviously a very analytical person (have you actually studied psychology, or even philosophy for that matter? You may find them interesting and/or helpful, and most definitely engaging, I would imagine, given by this post...) and so it makes sense that you have analyzed this from various angles. I don't think they contradict one another at all. I think there is our own particular values and beliefs, which you outlined at the beginning, and then the evidence, which you outline in the body, and sometimes they don't always go together but they can strangely complement or offset each other.
I know sometimes thinking about things scares me. So thinking about the 'big questions' (I could never be a philosophy student, fascinating as it is) is not an activity I can engage in for long because things just unravel in my head.
I wish you all the best.