What do you call it when...

When over the years a lot of people have come to not like me and now avoid me for a variety of reasons. Overly shy, being excessively nervous in talking to them.

When excessive drinking makes bad impressions.

When my face can change from being quite handsome to looking bizarre as in a mental case. I usually take really bad pictures except for selfies when I can control the mood.

When I seem to have charisma until they get to know me better and see a lack of personality quality there. Many or most people are attracted to me.

When I went through years of on off bad depression. Therapists didn't do much except for the time the meds snapped me right out a serious depression. Otherwise years have cured me for the most part.

When I was often so socially withdrawn and fearful people looked at me with a variety of disdainful strange looks.

When people take my shyness for aloofness and hate me in return.

When immaturity seems to define much of my personality or at least did in earlier years.

When in spite of all this I still get along quite well with many people and greatly enjoy social activities.

When I can be very happy by myself doing serious work on music or reading and feeding my head from different media.

I must be some kind of borderline person. I have outgrown much of this but I always wonder about myself and what the problem is or was. I sometimes think "Jesus was I fxxxed up!" I now see love as the all conquering remedy in all things. Making it work is another thing though.

I wish I had some answers but maybe even the pros don't know. I'm sure I share these things with many people.

Thanks for your thoughts

Some people can be social, yet actually be shy. I know what it's like to be misunderstood because of shyness.

Hi Kreg

It sounds like you have some introspection and that is key to finding answers. These questions are hard to answer as I, too ask a lot of questions about my behavior. Some of therapy is knowing ourselves and this can greatly be to our advantage. Have you looked at why you drink or why you feel socially withdrawn? Do you see a therapist?

I haven't had any alcohol for several months now and I don't know why I was born such a shy person. I was thinking today how it hurts when you are rejected by people. But then I look at some of those people and see they have their own personality malfunctions. Then I have to admit if I have acted poorly-usually because of the alcohol then I can't blame people for rejecting me. I can't ask them to overlook it.

I'm a believer in many lifetimes/incarnations so I chalk it up to the lessons I have to learn. In that way I accept things as they are without anger or self pity. I just carry on and will do better from now on with new friends and acquaintances.

Lying in bed this morning in that subtle state of mind before waking I thought about this post and had the thought that I have my personality problems as a result of years and maybe prior lifetimes of entertaining my desires and my ways of thinking about everything. It just congeals into what you now are-compelling you to act in ways that bring pain oft times.

So the way out is to dust off and carry on with new and better resolutions. New habits of mind will form and the results will show. Karma you know. Cause and effect. Another big part is forgiving others and self because none of us is perfect and hate and anger only bring more pain. Love is the only way to go. I just avoid those people and ask for love for them.

Only a trained professional can actually diagnose you... What I call it is people not giving you a chance, not getting to know you. A lot of people in this world are way too quick to judge and remain fixed in thier initial opinions (unless you make an effort to change it by approaching them in a friendly manner.), which in turn makes them miss out on meeting/knowing a lot of cool people. With most people (the one's who aren't violent/aggressive about it) if they give you a bad look don't assume it's about you (cos also it might not be, they might be thinking about something else) just go say hi- if it is appropriate to do so. It's basically the same sort of thing people with predudices do. They won't break out of it unless you approach them and make an effort and some just won't break out of thinking how they do anyway. Example: (In their mind) One black person stole something= all black people are bad. In this case people are taught by the media ect that shy people are loners and murderers= they think all shy people are hateful, scary, murderers. That sort of thing. Not all people are like this but a large part of the population are sheep and sheep are elitist. You must behave like them, look like them, act like them or you are flawed and scary to them and must be outcast/destroyed. Obviously we live in a society which doesn't allow them to destroy people (though it does happen in some places- racial hate crimes,gay hate crimes,outcast/weird looking/different people being hurt/killed.) so what most groups of people do is shun and outcast people, spread rumors, ignore them and stupid crap like that. That said don't be too depressed about it cos there are also a lot of people who don't fit that "normal" catagory and they are probably looking for friends too, you just need to start looking for them cos I can gauruntee they are there. Also getting involved in a hobby that involves being in a group is a good way to meet people who you already know have at least one thing in common with you.