[sistoBPD]

Hello all. This is my first post and really I'm just seeking support. I am the younger sister of a 29 year old BPD. She basically has had a breakdown in the last few weeks, but is not able/willing to see that she has a problem. My sister has temper tantrums like she is 5 years old where she yells and screams and cusses. She is always saying that my entire family is picking on her. She sees everything in black and white...you either love her or you hate her. There is no in between for her. She refuses to get help and tells my family that we are the ones that have the problem. At the moment she is extremely furious with me because I called her on her break with reality. Up until 1 week ago she was living with my parents who supported her financially. She cannot take care of herself, she has no willpower when it comes to money and she mooches off everyone. This past week was the last straw. She met a guy on myspace and immediately fell "in love." She has never met the guy, but ended up flying out to meet him because she was making everyone around her miserable. He told her he was in the witness protection program which she was naive enough to believe and has basically been isolating her ever since. I just found out today that she started to do drugs such as ecstasy and acid. Yesterday when someone slipped her something, the guy raped her. She couldn't remember anything, yet she says she wanted him to have sex with her and that she enjoyed it. I am very sad and upset for her that she is not set in reality. Maybe it's her way of coping, I'm not sure. All I know is that my heart hurts for her. I know when the time comes, she is going to fall hard. I just wish she coulld see the harm she is doing to herself.

I know that the only real way to deal with a BPD person is to set strong limits and I have to distance myself because she's not going to see she has a problem. It's hard though because I'm afraid she's going to end up dead. I don't want to see her hurt, but I can't even talk to her anymore. She is so out of touch with reality that it hurts.... Any words of advice would be welcomed.

Hi sistoBPD and welcome.

You don't mention if your sister is being treated by a psychiatrist/therapist. Has she been properly dx'ed?

If not, is there any way for you to talk to her about seeking help?

How 'bout yourself? Would talking with a professional about your concerns and fears help you? It might also help you understand her diagnosis and help you set proper boundaries.

Just a few thoughts,

Petunia

[sistoBPD]

She was being treated by a psychiatrist and therapist until she decided that all they wanted her to do was get a job. She stopped taking all of her medication and turned into another person entirely it seems. She hasn't been able to be properly diagnosed or treated because she knows how to turn off all the symptoms when she goes into to talk to the doctors. She also twists everything around to make it seem like she is the one being abused.

As for me, I've spoken with numerous counselors over the years to help me cope with the situation. I'm a registered nurse and I've studied psychiatric disorders quite a bit. That's how I know setting limits. It's just difficult to face the fact that I can't seem to help her at all. She won't even acknowledge that I exist now. So there isn't much I can do anymore. There never has been any talking to her anyway. I do appreciate the advice though. Hopefully, I'll get some closure for awhile.

((( sistoBPD )))

It's just difficult to face the fact that I can't seem to help her at all.

I totally understand. It's such a helpless, frightening feeling. I'm so sorry you have to experience it.

Come here to vent. We are good listeners. Maybe someone here with personality disorders experience will offer up some solid advice.

Take care,

Petunia

[Rapunzel]

I'm not sure what to tell you. People with personality disorders don't tend to realize their impact on other people. I have felt throughout my life that I was invisible to just about everyone and therefore had no impact. It hurts to look at the damage and debris that I leave in my wake. It's like, whoa, I couldn't have done all that! And I'm not even into drugs and stuff. So, she's not going to want to see it, and I don't think there is anything anyone can do to make her come around. Eventually people with BPD might make enough of a mess out of their own lives that they will be bothered enough to seek help. That's what to watch for - when she starts to look around and question what she's doing. Until then, take care of yourself and mind your boundaries and don't let her turn your life upside down.

TC,
Rap

[sistoBPD]

Thanks for the encouragement. It's nice to know that there are others out there who are willing to listen. I'm sure I'll make it through this difficult time.

-SistoBPD