[annoyedgrunt84]

The persona I try to project is confident and assertive, the person I am on the inside is insufferably whiny and self-pitying. Fixing him feels like a completely insurmountable task.

[kaliope]

i can understand this. so you when you are the whiny person you can use positive self talk to strive to be the person you have cultivated knowing you have the strength to be that person.

[vectorlink]

Make these both persons meet each other somewhere in the middle. Be a bit less whiny and self-pitying and make the projected persona be less ideal.

[crosstobear]

Originally Posted by annoyedgrunt84

The persona I try to project is confident and assertive, the person I am on the inside is insufferably whiny and self-pitying. Fixing him feels like a completely insurmountable task.

I know someone like that. Really tough and mean but totally soft and afraid on the inside. Many people are like that.

I don't know if you have a PD or not, but if you do, know that it takes a while to alter personality and it's not just therapy or meds, or therapy AND meds. It's life experience, time, trauma, adaptation, new responsibilities, etc. that in conjunction with therapy usually does the trick.

[ManOfConstantSorrow]

Originally Posted by annoyedgrunt84

The persona I try to project is confident and assertive, the person I am on the inside is insufferably whiny and self-pitying. Fixing him feels like a completely insurmountable task.

Practice, it is all about practice, and getting into the habit of recognising your less creditable side early and dealing with it better and better. Everyone is like this at heart, but some people are better at dealing with it then others, and the rest of us have try harder and practice.

Don't lose heart if it all goes backwards from time to time - that is almost inevitable. Do you have a T or someone else to support and re-assure you?

[Atypical_Disaster]

I've built up several false personas over the years, one of my biggest ones was an over confident, narcissistic, overly assertive to the point of just steamrolling over others, and emotionless person(basically I was acting like a psychopath even though I'm most definitely not one). When that mask fell away my world kind of shattered(I started believing my own BS to be blunt) and I'm still picking up the pieces and in therapy I am learning it is okay to be myself, whatever that truly looks like. You can only be who you are, change what doesn't benefit you and cultivate the parts of yourself that do benefit you. Never stop growing and changing, that is my motto.