[TishaBuv]

I am very proud of myself that I was able to restrain myself from going off on my mother just now. This is unbelievable:

Twelve years ago my mother wrote 'a novel'. It is actually her true memoirs. She only ever-so-slightly changed the names of the people. It doesn't have a plot, but she insists it's a fictional novel. It's all about her and how she can't cope with my father's death.

She self-published it and has sold a good amount of copies.

She disclosed all the deep, dark family secrets. True things that some family members didn't know. Then she had the gall to insist that everybody buy the book. The people who learned some terrible things through this book, then or course, don't speak to her and are furious.

Since then, she also self-published other stories that were fiction. She refuses to follow any rules of writing, so although she calls them novels, I don't know what they are. She actually sells a good amount of these books and has strangers love her books and complement her. She forces us all to buy the books and won't stop harassing us until we read the books. This for me is torture. I can't stand her books!

But then she re-wrote the memoirs book over three times and re-published it under different names, again changing the characters names to be just slightly different from the people's real names.

I had another thread on here that talked about how she has run out of money and I now give her money monthly so she can stay in her home.

Today she tells me she is re-writing the book again!

[TishaBuv]

Her books are in the local libraries. They had her speak along with other local authors (who were even more whacky than her). Someone asked her how she plans out what she writes, where she gets her inspiration, and she says she is being channeled!

[TishaBuv]

I put this post in Personality Place, because I think she definitely has some kind of personality disorder and I guess I do too.

Here's why I am so angry about her memoirs book:
She tells the story through her eyes.
The dead are not here to defend themselves.
She perpetuates all the stories of MI in this family. I'm sorry she ever told me about it. I think hearing about it made me think it is in me. Maybe if she never would have said anything, I would have been happier.
She portrays me and my sisters so blankly. Like a stick figure drawing with no detail. Only my middle sister gets a lot of attention in the book because my mom writes about all these fights with her and everything that was said (Her take on it, of course). My other sister and I are so transparent.
She acts like she was the most loving, dutiful daughter to her parents.
Yes, she adored her father. He was just a great guy.
But, she was so abusive to her mother.
And most of all... She paints herself to be sunny, wholesome, and sweet in every scene. I guess she never noticed what a monster she can be.

[TishaBuv]

And it's never called mental illness by her...
It's your great grandfather committed suicide over red shoes, etc...

[here today]

So sorry you’re having to deal with this, your mother’s behavior and the effects on you and the rest of the family.

Yes, she does sound ill. Probably not much you can do about it, though? Help if she wants help, which it doesn’t sound like she does.

What are you doing to help yourself? Venting here seems positive – places/clarifies some distance between her behavior and you.

[LittleEarthquakes]

Her memoir is her experience though. Whether it was true or not. Right?

[TishaBuv]

Originally Posted by LittleEarthquakes

Her memoir is her experience though. Whether it was true or not. Right?

Yes, of course, and it's all true. It's just that her view of things is skewed. And it bothers me. I'm so put off by her huge ego. And I resent that she told me all these things that made me see things skewed and think I inherited MI.

I'm surprised people didn't react more to this... Who publishes their memoirs who isn't famous?

Originally Posted by TishaBuv

Yes, of course, and it's all true. It's just that her view of things is skewed. And it bothers me. I'm so put off by her huge ego. And I resent that she told me all these things that made me see things skewed and think I inherited MI.

I'm surprised people didn't react more to this... Who publishes their memoirs who isn't famous?

A lot of people write and publish memoirs: famous and not so famous alike. It is her experience, flawed as it may be. That may be how she experienced things and even how she has chosen to believe them. Strangely enough, the way people remember their history, even in very flawed ways, is often how they've managed to stay alive. That really isn't all that unusual; everyone's life experience is only really through their eyes. You are able now to see that her perception is off. It sounds like those close to the situation see that also.

[TishaBuv]

She did it again! My mom rewrote the same story of her life (as she sees it) four times and self-published it under different titles and different author names.

But now she really got me-- her newest book she is now writing is about her "2nd life" (after my father died, with her second husband). It is a happy book about how she did what she wanted to do and finally became the person she wanted to be.

This is completely opposite from the truth!! She has done nothing but torture me every day of my life about her not being any of those things and hating my step-dad!!!

G-d give me the power to accept the things I cannot control............ Let my 80 year-old mother live and be well............... Throw mama from the train!!!!!!!!!!

[ScientiaOmnisEst]

Wow. Just wow. I'm really sorry, but also shocked that she even managed to get these things published and into a library (I do know, anyone can self-publish these days).

I'm actually a little weirded out that she's done this so many times. You say she's 80...could this have something to do with mental decline? Definitely personality issues here though, if her experience is as radically different as you as you see it. Or just serious bias.

[TishaBuv]

Originally Posted by ScientiaOmnisEst

Wow. Just wow. I'm really sorry, but also shocked that she even managed to get these things published and into a library (I do know, anyone can self-publish these days).

I'm actually a little weirded out that she's done this so many times. You say she's 80...could this have something to do with mental decline? Definitely personality issues here though, if her experience is as radically different as you as you see it. Or just serious bias.

Yes, did you ever notice how aging people love to reminisce? I think it is an age thing, and I think she developed Narcissistic PD. All she does is write these books. I am serious-- does not leave the house and hardly sleeps at all-- just writes and keeps self publishing under different author names. Then she buys copies of the books and gives them out to the family, forcing everyone to read them. Nobody can stand reading her books. Everybody tries to just say something police and change the subject. But she won't let it go.

The other day we went out to lunch and she tried to bring up this last book. I told her I am drawing the line she is not to cross. She did much harm to me with her stories of my family tragedies and MI. She caused me to have MI by telling me my family history. Therefore, I do not want to talk about her books ever again.

She was pissed and told me off, saying I am the one with the problem. No remorse at all, no sympathy. Anger that I refused to stroke her ego. Total disregard for me.

But, she was hungry and lunch had not been brought to the table, plus she knew I was picking up the check-- so she contained herself. Otherwise, making a disgusting scene and storming out of a restaurant is not beyond her.

Oh, but she did say "Well you can just throw my body out into the street when I'm dead". And began a rant. That was her good behavior.

All the things wrong with her are made worse by being her daughter. I wish I could have escaped my "bad DNA" (as my father-in-law accused me of having)