[Zen888]

they don't know what's wrong with you (told to me by a medical prof. )

[psisci]

Definitely not true.

[Zen888]

explain plz psisci.

[PetulantWolf]

Is that all he said? Based on what? It seems like he's talking out his butt if youll pardon the expression. Just becasue he is a medical professor does not mean he is correct. If youre an ***, getting a degree will probably not make you less of an ***. It will just make you an *** with a degree.

I mean, a diagnosis isnt EVERYTHING and we are certainly more than whatever label is put on us. BUT. Finding out that Im borderline certainly has helped me recognise symptoms and deal with them much better than I have in the past. It didnt just appear, it came from abuse. But its a relief to be able to have a chance to get my act together. The dx was certainly not a shot in the dark, it fits, and it helps.

[PetulantWolf]

Youve been having a tough time of it lately, havent you?

(((((((((Zen))))))))))))

[Zen888]

Yes justsignmeupalready that would be an understatement. Thanks for the virtual hug!

[AlteredState01]

No, they just don't know WHAT to do with you!

[sadeyesr4ever]

I'm glad that isn't true, I would be really embarrassed then!

[psisci]

It is really more a way of saying, "we know exactly what is wrong with you".

[Zen888]

duh psisci ! In essence you don't know either based upon your answer.

[psisci]

Actually I do, it means you have a personality disorder, not an axis 1 disorder, thus we know exactly what is wrong.

[sadeyesr4ever]

Is this an illness? Or do we do the things we do on purpose where as we should know better and if we only use more self control?

[Direction]

Yes an illness - treatment of acute symtoms with medication and relearning how to react with therapy...

Self control...not in the sense I think you may mean...

[gardenergirl]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
sadeyesr4ever said:
Is this an illness? Or do we do the things we do on purpose where as we should know better and if we only use more self control?

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

We do the things we do "on purpose" in that at some point we learned that those things are effective. They achieve what we want. As we develop from childhood to adulthood and so on, we learn other ways to achieve what we want as well. But if we stick to the early lessons and behaviors instead of being more flexible in our interactions, then we get caught up in cycles of behavior that are not so adaptive. So it's not that easy to "not do" what we learned works, even if we "should know better."

Let's take the example of a toddler who wants something from a store shelf, but the parent says no. If the toddler starts crying, or keeps grabbing, or throws a tantrum, the parent might give in and allow them to have the item just to stop that behavior. So the toddler learns that throwing a tantrum will get him what he wants (or her). Let's say the toddler gets older but still uses crying and tantrums as a means to getting something. Why wouldn't they, if they know it works? And if the parent often reinforces that, it becomes a stronger pattern. In addition, the child doesn't get the opportunity to try different, more adaptive behaviors if they only use tantrums and it so often works. By the time that child becomes an adult, that message and the behavior is deeply ingrained. (By the way, I'm not saying that anyone with a PD acts like a child...just using this to illustrate how we learn to do what we do.)

So the short answer is that it's not necessarily that we should know better and just don't for whatever reason do things differently. It's more complicated than that, otherwise, it would be much easier to change, right? There are reasons that make sense for why someone with a PD does many of the things they do or thinks the way they think. The hard part is just trying out new ways to do the same thing that are more adaptive.

Hope this helps.

gg

It's a way of saying that your problems are characterological in nature... Meaning that you have adapted certain ways of coping/thinking/feeling and certain defense mechanisms over the years that may have worked for you in the past, but aren't working so great as an adult. But don't worry. The good news is that 15-20 years in analysis will cure it. JK... actually I am in analysis for it... but really... there are a lot of things they can do with you to help you!!

[AlteredState01]

gardenergirl.

I personally was diagnosed with Borderline personality , and think how it is described to be EXACTLY what is wrong with me.

But it is just a label - labels just categorize us into "boxes" if you will. Use it only as long as it helps you understand yourself.

[kaceybabe]

i think we are so halfway between many illnesses ...i believe this is true and have heard many workers use these words.

meds tend not to work as well with someone with BPD because our is more behavioural. we are one of the hardest mental health patients they have to deal with!!!

under a label that is slightly unknown how to help!