[Quin100]

I'v been realizing some things about myself a lot recently. When i say recently, i mean for the past few years. I always had trouble showing any flaws or problems i was having to anyone no matter who it was. It was hard not to change when i wanted too, because i was scared people would find me weak. In a short summary, i had a slightly disorderly house hold, both my mother and father were in and out of my life though my mother came back 7 years from posting this, my father (being an extremely kind man ironically) was having financial troubles, which lead him to jail (theft of bikes, identity theft) and continues to reside there. I was extremely bullied for being "special" in elementary school since i have ADHD.

My grandmother wasn't any relief either. She wasn't the typical 'fill you up with food, hugs and kisses' grandma. I built a large 'tough' shell around me. I admired guys for their strength (emotionally and physically) and desired to be like them. I acted like the tomboy, and i felt that was what i wanted to be for years. I even denied loving any pastel color for years, i said i loved brown and dark green even though i loved the color pink. Since i'v started high school and have found my passion to be a Neuroscientist, i'v been studying in the field of Psychology.
I went through an existential crisis and fell into a depression during the summer after 10th grade. A lot of things were happening between then but that's not important in this case.. and i'v come to realize these problems with me. I always knew i was a kind and considerate person but trying to show that to people, even my bestest friends, the friends i'v had since 9th grade and some since elementary school, it was the hardest thing to do. Since i make a lot of guy friends easily and half of my group of friends are either tomboys or males, it only made it more difficult. The only thing i'v been able to accept is that i love the colors pink, green and purple, and pastel colors in general. There's so many things i want to say here, but i'm pretty confused myself already.... I really need help...

[Skeezyks]

Hello Quin100: Posting here on PsychCentral can be really helpful. The more you post, & reply to other members' posts, the more connected to the community you will feel. I hope you will find the time you spend here to be of benefit.

[Quin100]

Originally Posted by Skeezyks

Hello Quin100: Posting here on PsychCentral can be really helpful. The more you post, & reply to other members' posts, the more connected to the community you will feel. I hope you will find the time you spend here to be of benefit.

Thank you ^^