[perniciousfirefly]

Hiya,
I was in the exact predicament as you are i am bpd/bipolar being assessed at the moment, but I met a guy with schizophrenia, and i can't explain but i felt comfortable around him, and could be my mad self. However where do i start? I met him knew him around, and he told me he woz schizophrenic ( now he says he was diagnosed at 15) but he was a drug dealer a few years and still abuses them (as i do i admit) now i blame them for making me mentally worse.
But anyway i hung round there to chill and basically get drunk and sometimes get more trashed. But first night i met him we woke up in that morning after situation. He was more into me at first, and when i told him that i loved him a few weeks later i think he freaked out, i cared about him and he didnt understand me.
Anyway what i am sayin is you need to be emotionally strong to be with someone like this, and i wasnt. I freaked him out and cant remember it but cut myself in front of him i was trashed. He used to text me saying the person (he has a name for him) was trying to get him and was freaking out.

Trust me i think it is scary for a person with schizophrenia to trust anyone and that is why you should be careful. I wont see him again bcuase with my bpd i need to feel wanted sometimes and saught attention from someone he knows (get drugs off), but what can i say you cant trust anyone!!!!!
not even myself

i cant sudtain a relationship even if they love me, i go and %#@&#! it up! i cant be happy unless im escaping reality. I will prob die lonely and mentally disturbed in my grave

www.pernicious.com/my head is in ruins

[RiverX]

Hi,
I am a recovering addict, tho drugs werent my addiction. I would say, whilst your still using drugs/ alcohol, you're not availabe to yourself or your b/f to deal with any of the other problems.
If you want to stop using, there is much help available so you can have the option to not die as you described.
Theres Narcotics Anonymous, AA, and all sorts of programmes. First things first. . Its ok to just go to a few meetings, say 6 and see if its for you.

all the best, at least you're here and talking about it, thats a good start!

riverx