[had-enough]

Hi,

I don't know how to write this. I know someone with NPD - and I am constantly the recipient of her hatred and attacks. She lies about me to others.

I don't know what to do.

had-enough

[RiverX]

One thing you could do is learn about the disorder. My first stop was Sam Vaknin's website. You just type in his name to google. I think theres varous degrees, but you'd need to understand what you're dealing with.

riverx

[had-enough]

Ok - will do

[had-enough]

I'm reading - I got away from her from another message board - where her friends all supported her in her lies toward me.

maybe it's not NPD, but many of the symptoms are there (more than 5). she can be charming and 'caring' to her friends. although i know she has treated some of them badly as well.

had enough

[VoNPD]

Sam Valkins' FAQ's on NPD

I learned a lot from this list of FAQ's - enough to defend myself from a vicious N.

N's are masters of manipulation and damn good Actors/Actresses.

good luck to you!
VoN
(Victim of NPD)

[Sannah]

Enough, why are you the recipient (or rather her victim)?

[had-enough]

I think it started when a couple of years ago after i received recognition for work I'd done. I think she resented that AND resented the fact that she had never gotten similar recognition.

h-e

[Sannah]

So this is a coworker?

[had-enough]

Sort of - volunteers .

Originally Posted by Sannah

So this is a coworker?

[Sannah]

So I am assuming you are vulnerable to this person because she is similar to someone in your past????

[had-enough]

check your pm

thanks

[Beth1957]

Originally Posted by had-enough

Hi,

I don't know how to write this. I know someone with NPD - and I am constantly the recipient of her hatred and attacks. She lies about me to others.

I don't know what to do.

had-enough

I too had a "friend" like this. I stuck by her for years, acting as her patsy & getting her out of trouble with others (despite her regular attacks on me) because I felt sorry for her, understood where her problems came from, and felt she needed me.
It took years to realise that despite knowing that she couldn't help herself, those attacks on me still diminished me inside. It still took a couple of traumatic events - one being the unexpected death of one of her daughters (I think she resented the fact that my only child, one year younger, is very much alive. She'd always resented anything I had that she lacked), before I finally got free. And I still feel guilty for "abandoning" her after such an event, even though she instigated it.

[had-enough]

Beth,

Thanks for your post - it gives me some insight as to why this person's friends stick by her. I tried to be a friend, but she resents everything I say or do, and the attacks continue.

What I don't understand is why her friends don't stand up for me when she attacks me. They continue to enable her behaviour. "Oh it's just 'Hermione', that's just how she is..." As if this behaviour is perfectly acceptable.

H-E

[Beth1957]

Originally Posted by had-enough

Beth,

Thanks for your post - it gives me some insight as to why this person's friends stick by her. I tried to be a friend, but she resents everything I say or do, and the attacks continue.

What I don't understand is why her friends don't stand up for me when she attacks me. They continue to enable her behaviour. "Oh it's just 'Hermione', that's just how she is..." As if this behaviour is perfectly acceptable.

H-E

Yes, that's what hurts, isn't it? Funnily enough I had two messages yesterday from people who initially turned against me when she did; both were very supportive. I think they've seen the "real" her.
You know, it's not us who accept that we have mental health problems who cause the most trouble in this world. Most of the people I know with acknowledged MH issues go out of their way not to hurt others, or are genuinely aghast when they do. It's the people who think they're fine, or "just depressed", but seem to think they have the right to behave as they choose, no matter who they hurt, who cause the most difficulty for others in day-to-day life.
LOL sorry if I'm rambling; I'm tired!