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#26
Sep 15, 2009, 08:46 PM
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so today is the ex clients annual barbeque - i am triggery as heck - there will be lots of people - i keep saying its ok - they are better - i am safe - but i get very anxious when cant see exits.....
I know thats stupid - they are not going to hurt me - I really really really dont want to go to work........ I am scared.......
__________________
Its not how many times you fall down that counts  its how many times you get back up!   (Thanks to fenrir for my Picture  )When you have come to the edge of all light that you know and are about to drop off into the darkness of the unknown, Faith is knowing One of two things will happen: There will be something solid to stand on or you will be taught to fly. by Patrick Overton, author and poet |
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#27
Sep 15, 2009, 08:50 PM
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I am sorry that you are scared. I can certainly understand why you are on edge though.
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
 phoenix7
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#28
Sep 15, 2009, 10:51 PM
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Plenty of folks have said all kinds of smart stuff. So...I just have a question or 2 for you. Do you deserve to be safe and properly treated? Why are you being denied safety while you work trying to help, protect and properly treat sick people?
Imho, I question the validity of how you interpret "facing your fears". If thunderstorms make you hide in closets I'd recommend you work to handle thunderstorms so they do not imprison you (especially if you live in Tornado Alley as I do in Texas.) BUT, if your fear is being physically wounded or killed on every shift you work, then facing your fears may actually be a sign of being foolhardy (someone who needlessly faces dangers just to prove they can). I believe you need to place MORE value on your own life. Just because someone is wounded doesn't make them of higher value than you and I believe that with all my heart and soul. Compassion must never be mixed with codependency! 
__________________
 HEALING HAPPENS
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| phoenix7
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#29
Sep 16, 2009, 01:43 AM
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Quote:
 You work in a minefield?!  (  )
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| phoenix7
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#30
Sep 16, 2009, 05:29 AM
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thankyou multipixie, the more i think about it the more i am seeing it as just yet another way i SI - I used to say i was persistant...but i guess im just being stubborn.. saying it wont beat me - i wont leave just cos the guy attacked me and sent me over the edge...
but maybe i can leave because i am worth mroe than working for a place that doesnt respect our safety......... still thinking ... thankyou  Quote:
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OMG!!!! FooZe - lol freudian slip !!!!!!!  Well some good news for a change instead of my insesant whinging! I got through it YAY FOR ME!!!! i had to leave a couple of times - but i spoke with 7 exclients who were all glad to see me YAY!!!!! I survived lol  Im on a bit of a high - probably overly please with myself - feeling a bit like the cat in alice in wonderland - hmmmm waiting for the other shoe to drop lol... lets hope its not a hob nail boot lolthanks for putting up with me everyone P7
__________________
Its not how many times you fall down that counts its how many times you get back up! (Thanks to fenrir for my Picture )When you have come to the edge of all light that you know and are about to drop off into the darkness of the unknown, Faith is knowing One of two things will happen: There will be something solid to stand on or you will be taught to fly. by Patrick Overton, author and poet |
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#31
Sep 16, 2009, 06:19 AM
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I hope your job went well today. Take care.
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| phoenix7
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#32
Sep 16, 2009, 06:43 AM
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hugs p7.
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| phoenix7
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#33
Sep 16, 2009, 11:19 AM
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Yeah, I was thinking more about this, about when you face your fears and when you don't. I would think that you face your fears if they are not loaded with triggers and a full past that hasn't been explored or the fears have been worked through. But with your situation none of this has happened so facing your fears is not helping at all. It is hurting you! I guess this would be another test. Is facing your fears helping you get over them or is it just adding to the pile of PTSD? I think we all know the answer to this question in this situation...........
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
| phoenix7
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#34
Sep 17, 2009, 09:39 PM
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Thanks reg12, crystalrose and Sannah
i guess my fear is that i wll fall apart if i go somewhere else...... i am doing a course in NLP that may lead to a new xareer in March next year - so i just have to hang on til then... and get stable so i can maybe get into other career.. On another note - T's cancer has returned and he will need op - so will be away for dunno ? a month....? then is retiring in Jan next year .... happy he is going to take time for him at last - but will miss him. take care one and all
__________________
Its not how many times you fall down that counts its how many times you get back up! (Thanks to fenrir for my Picture )When you have come to the edge of all light that you know and are about to drop off into the darkness of the unknown, Faith is knowing One of two things will happen: There will be something solid to stand on or you will be taught to fly. by Patrick Overton, author and poet |
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#35
Sep 18, 2009, 10:05 AM
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Quote:
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
| phoenix7
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#36
Sep 18, 2009, 10:24 AM
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Because i get close to falling apart where i am Sannah........ and i known the place and the people - how would i be where i knew no-one?
__________________
Its not how many times you fall down that counts its how many times you get back up! (Thanks to fenrir for my Picture )When you have come to the edge of all light that you know and are about to drop off into the darkness of the unknown, Faith is knowing One of two things will happen: There will be something solid to stand on or you will be taught to fly. by Patrick Overton, author and poet Last edited by phoenix7; Sep 18, 2009 at 10:42 AM. |
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#37
Sep 18, 2009, 10:53 AM
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So you need familiar people to function? Change would be devastating?
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
| phoenix7
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#38
Sep 19, 2009, 01:35 AM
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Quote:
at the moment familiar means safe..... whether right or wrong.... devestating? I dont know...but if i fell down..... there would be no going back...
__________________
Its not how many times you fall down that counts its how many times you get back up! (Thanks to fenrir for my Picture )When you have come to the edge of all light that you know and are about to drop off into the darkness of the unknown, Faith is knowing One of two things will happen: There will be something solid to stand on or you will be taught to fly. by Patrick Overton, author and poet |
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