Was it a flashback?

Hi, all - this is my first post on this forum, I usually post on the Psychotherapy forum.

Last week, my therapist suggested that we try EMDR for some stuck memories that I have. I think we're going to focus on one trauma in particular - I remember parts of this event well, other parts not so much. So, because I'm far too analytical for my own good and must research everything to death, I got a book on EMDR. I was just reading it, about a war veteran who was having horrible flashbacks and was describing them to his therapist before the EMDR, when all of a sudden I was hit with a memory of me in the middle of my trauma - it was like I was back there, I started to shake and cry. But this memory wasn't what I usually remember, it was one of those lost parts of the memory, but I know it's real and it's what happened. It actually went away just as quickly as it had come to me, but it really threw me! So is that what is considered a flashback? I wasn't even sure that I had what is considered PTSD, since in my mind, what I went through wasn't a big T trauma (life-threatening, natural disaster, loved one dying).

When my T first began labeling my experiences 'flashbacks,' I was awfully confused, because in the movies it's people acting out a situation, the entire backdrop changes. I assumed that since part of me knew I was still here and now, then it must just be a memory. But "it was like I was back there" is the defining feature of a flashback. There are lots of different kind of flashbacks--sound, sight, smell, feel. But they all have that eerie, awful, back-in-the-moment feeling.

I think you'll hear lots of folks with the PTSD diagnosis saying the same thing. Even after years of PTSD treatment, I still sometimes doubt that it really is PTSD!

Childhood trauma, abuse in particular, can cause PTSD, in large part because children know that adults can hurt them in devastating ways, so abusers need only make a threat or a physical gesture for the child to feel complete terror.

Thanks for replying, skeksi!

Hello dreamseeker. "Flashbacks" can be in sight related like a still picture form or movie forms. They can be in a form of physical sensation as if you are there or it is happening. There are various types. We all have different traumas that we react to and different abilities that allow us to see these happenings.

Hi Dreamseeker9,

PTSD can come from intense pain experiences, operations, as well as life threatening events - it could well be that the child that was at some point was convinced that she was going to die form the pain..

Flashbacks take you back to that moment - as has been said you can see , hear, feel, taste , touch, smell things from that place, it can be one or all sensations - can start as onsensation and gradually build to all.

Grounding skills can help with this - they are ona sticky at the top of the screen -

also try to remind yourself this is a memory no matter how real it feels - you survived it then and you cna survive it now

take care P7

Thanks, Phoenix. I was 17 at the time of this memory - I remember the pain being so intense, I just wanted to die, anything for it to end.

I did read the grounding skills thread, thanks! My T and I are going to work on grounding skills in session tomorrow, to prepare for my first EMDR session. I think that's why this is all coming up for me, because I know we're going to target this memory with EMDR - I'm excited to try it, but I'm also nervous and scared. I will talk to T tomorrow about the flashback and my concerns about EMDR.

My therapist has been trying to get me to try EMDR, but I can't. The only person who does EMDR in my area is a male psychiatrist who I do not know. So, due to my issues, I can't do it. But, my therapist tells me that he has helped many of her clients be able to get past stuck memories of trauma. I hope it helps you.

As for flashbacks, even though flashbacks vary greatly between people and even among flashbacks of the same person, the basic thing is that it takes you back to the time of the trauma as if you are there and the trauma is occuring. I have flashbacks from two different traumas. One is more physical and emotional and occurs whenever someone grabs my left wrist. (That wrist was sprained during the trauma.) My other flashbacks are much more visual though I have felt physical sensations of it as well.

I use grounding techniques for the physical flashbacks, but I have never figured out how to use grounding techniques for the visual ones.