question about "body memories"

this might be triggering...

I have nightmares & flashbacks, like most people with PTSD. A lot of times with those come physical sensations of being hurt, physcially hurt, even though I know that nobody has touched me. Is that what body memories are? Is that a PTSD thing?

I have asked my T about this but she didn't answer me. I'm scared to ask her again, it was very difficult for me to ask her in the 1st place, it has taken me years of experiencing this to even allow myself to *think* about it much less vocalize it. I feel like I am being raped again, it physically hurts, even after the flashback is over. I just really need to know whether this is something other people with PTSD experience or not.

I answered your other message. Never be scared to ask. She is supposed to help you, not keep you in confusion. Also you are the customer. Nothing wrong with asking for some assistance when you need it.

yeah, sorry, I started this thread before I saw there was another one with basically the same question. Oops.

Your. therapist might have not answered you because she wants you to decide for yourself what it is and because she doesn't want to create false memory syndrome in you.

Is it body memories I cant say. I'm not your therapist or doctor. what I can say is that sometimes what you are going through is considered body memories for some people and for others its considered having hallucinations and for others its called withdrawal symptoms from medications, caffeine or illegal drugs and alcohol. only you and your doctors can tell you which it is for you by exploring your medical history, psychological history, drug and alcohol use history if any, and medication history. keep working with your therapist and doctors and someday you will have the answers that you need

I did talk to my T on the phone about this yesterday and she said it's technically known as "tacticle hallucinations" which I took to be the official name for "body memories". It was good to hear from her that it's a common experience for people with PTSD, although I don't like the idea that I'm "hallucinating" anything. It was just good to know that it's something she's seen a lot and has dealt with, and it will go away, someday.
Do you think there's a difference between tactile hallucinations and body memories? Seems like pretty much the same thing to me

yes there is a difference between the two having "hallucinations" is when someone is experiencing something that isn't real and has never happened.

body memories are memories about things that actually happened in the past.

example

feeling like your hand is on fire but you have never been in a fire never been exposed to being anywhere close to a fire is a tactile hallucination.

feeling like your hand is on fire when at some point in the past you experienced someone forcing you to hold your hand on a stove burner while the burner was red hot is a body memory.

I get that difference, amanda, I guess I just need to ask my T to clarify it for me. I don't really care what *she* wants to call it that much, except it matters a lot to me whether she thinks it's something I actually experienced or something I'm imagining. I have a lot of issues about thinking people don't believe what happened because when I did tell them, they didn't. So now whenever I tell somebody, I always think they think I'm lying. This whole "hallucination" thing just plays right into that insecurity. ugh.

Zooropa...

Regardless what you call these experiences, I know that they are horrible for you and I'm sorry that you are experiencing them.

I'd like to share my opinion however. Body memories vs. tactile hallucinations? One medical dictionary states that a tactile hallucination is a "false perception of movement or sensation, as from an amputated limb, or crawling sensation on the skin".

Now, just because the perception is false, i.e. the limb has been amputated but is still felt by the person, doesn't mean that the stimulus was never there. It doesn't mean that that persons limb didn't exist at some point. So, in essences this false perception (tactile hallucination) would be a memory. It would be a memory of the body....of the central nervous system and nerves that still recognize the limb as being present.

Only your T knows why she didn't answer your question. Maybe she spaced out, maybe she didn't want to steer the therapy car in that direction at the moment. However, I don't think that the fear of inducing false memories has anything to do with it....WHATSOEVER!!!

A body memory is not false. If you were assaulted and you experienced these horrible events and your body remembers it...there's nothing false about that. Your T knows this too.

A person can have a tactile hallucination without it being a body memory. But they can't have a body memory without having it be a tactile hallucination. I hope this makes sense.

Take care...

Yes, that totally makes sense, and thank you SO much for taking the time to reply, elysium. This makes me feel a lot better, and hopefully I can talk about this more with my T at my next session. Thanks again.

zooropa,

I have body memmories ALOT! After being in therapy on both sides my belief of what body memmories to me are like my eye will swell, turn black, then purple then pink in a span of an hour and stay hours or go away in 30 minutes. Then I have rashes that come and go... these are body memmories! It sounds like body memmories to me.

I do like how Elysium explained it as well...

As for your T, well... she also may not know. Try to remember that T works for YOU!

Great ? by the way...

ThaCrew

thanks, crew. I'm sorry you have to experience that I really appreciate you sharing it though as it does help me understand. I was able to talk about this some more w/my T and she pretty much said exactly what elysium said (way to know your stuff, elysium! ). It was a good conversation.