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#1
Dec 24, 2009, 07:28 PM
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My aunt dealt with me severely every time I tried to eat or make food.
When I was a teenager, one of the things she did was demand in a very loud voice, "WHAT KIND OF COOKIES DID YOU BAKE, BILLI?" See, she had an eating disorder and took it out on me ALL THE TIME. when I went into the kitchen, it was "Billi, WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN THERE?" I would pick up the salt shaker and get a very traumatic lecture about "cardio problems" and "hardening of the arteries". Anyone have traumatic experiences with parents? I am brining this up cause i have to bake cookies for my friend and i'm afraid to. having flashbacks. Billi
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The idea of a soul mate is an ILLUSION. In reality, we must learn to be our own best friend/partner. Then if love comes to us, we will already be whole. All that love can do, at that point, is enhance our wholeness!  |
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#2
Dec 25, 2009, 06:16 PM
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 I'm sorry you are having flashbacks. |
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#3
Dec 25, 2009, 08:28 PM
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Do you really "have" to bake cookies for someone? If so, maybe tell yourself that your friend is NOT your aunt and she would not criticize you.
I know that's not much help but I don't know what else to say since I don't know what PTSD is in that context.  If you're really wired about it, you could "come clean" about it with your friend and use it as an opportunity to see if there's understanding there. 
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#4
Jan 03, 2010, 06:09 PM
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Hi billi,
I have had traumatic experiences with a parent in the kitchen... I'm not sure what to suggest except for discussing (some of) this with your friend, and working on grounding. Wishing you the best and hoping you're feeling better than when you posted  take care fuzzy
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#5
Jan 04, 2010, 01:31 AM
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I was able to bake, thank goodness.
I had my other friend, who is also a spiritual advisor, talk me thru it. He came over and goofed off with me in the kitchen. to answer someone's question about not knowing ptsd in that context, it isn't food that is the issue, it's reliving someone yelling at me about food. Billi
__________________
The idea of a soul mate is an ILLUSION. In reality, we must learn to be our own best friend/partner. Then if love comes to us, we will already be whole. All that love can do, at that point, is enhance our wholeness! |
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#6
Jan 04, 2010, 08:52 PM
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I used to try to cook for my parents and if I did something just a bit different I would get berated and humiliated for doing something "wrong" by my mother. I refuse to cook for her now.
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#7
Jan 05, 2010, 11:56 AM
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Way to go, Billi, with getting a friend to come help! I had a few problems with preparing food in the kitchen related to my stepmother and it was only by re-experiencing the situation in a new, "friendly" way that I was able to get over them. I liken it to having to confront the bad guy/monster in the dream before you can stop being afraid and stop running from them.
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"Never give a sword to a man who can't dance." ~Confucius |
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#8
Jan 05, 2010, 05:09 PM
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PTSD is all about not being/feeling safe...whether in the kitchen or not. Glad someone helped you through a tough time.
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