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#1
Jan 25, 2010, 10:40 PM
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I have never in all my years of therapy and pain felt as lost as I am right now. I feel misplaced – missing, lost and broken. I can still fake my way through the days but it is getting harder. I want to disappear one moment and lash out the next. It scares me because I am hurting the ones I love the most – my reason for being - my purpose. Without them I am alone, nothingness. With me, they become the broken souls – it is a burden too great to bear.
I have thought about leaving but will that break them too? - Just in a different but probably no less painful way- There really is no way out but directly through this pain and misery. I hope I have the strength because right now I very much doubt my ability to get through this and come out the other side. I must prevent the ravaged landscape of my past from becoming my family's. It is what I pray for. |
 AShadow721, Junerain
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#2
Jan 25, 2010, 10:51 PM
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(((((((((((( KDlady ))))))))))))) So saddened by this, my friend. Have you told your therapist? When were the meds last reviewed? Please post so we know how you are doing. I will listen if you like.
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#3
Jan 26, 2010, 01:11 PM
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Sending you warmth and strength. Hang in there, all things must change.
__________________
"Never give a sword to a man who can't dance." ~Confucius |
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#4
Jan 26, 2010, 04:10 PM
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 KDLady, I'm sorry to read that you are in such an awful painful place right now. I hope things brighten for you soon. I have often felt very broken and damaged. Sending prayers for your wellness and hugs too.
__________________
Amanda 
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#5
Jan 26, 2010, 06:42 PM
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(((((((((((KDlady))))))))))
__________________
 complic8d"Don't say I'm out of touch with this rampant chaos-your reality I know well what lies beyond my secret refuge The nightmare I built my own world to escape." ♥evanescence♥
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#6
Jan 26, 2010, 07:18 PM
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Hey all - just wanted to update you -
I did call my dr - and found out two meds I am taking - one - anti depressant - one pain med for pinched nerve are not to be taken together - cause seizures and all sorts of other icky stuff - so I stopped one and changed the other. While I am still a little shaky - I feel like there was a legitimate reason for my extra craziness (like anyone needs one but...) and it gives me some comfort that perhaps I am back to only regular crazy. Thanks for your comforting words
__________________
"well behaved women rarely make history" |
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#7
Jan 26, 2010, 09:45 PM
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You have a poetic way of describing your pain, I sympathise deeply with you, but try and think positive in your artistic nature, some people don't have family, you have, love the as they try to love you
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#8
Jan 27, 2010, 05:27 PM
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So glad to hear that you have a reason and that the meds were interacting badly. Its a good job you found this out and were able to switch meds. hope you are feeling much improved.
__________________
Amanda
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#9
Jan 27, 2010, 07:52 PM
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well done for phoning your dr
keep going
__________________
Princess Butterfly 
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#10
Jan 28, 2010, 03:24 PM
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Quote:
Jodi |
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#11
Feb 07, 2010, 12:13 AM
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You have explained my life in detail with your words..We will rise above and feel great again..have faith and be strong
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#12
Feb 07, 2010, 10:29 AM
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The wrong meds can be worse than no meds at all. Thank goodness you called and your doctor recognized the problem. Hope each day brings you closer to where you want to be
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#13
Feb 07, 2010, 02:00 PM
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How are you feeling, better?
__________________
Amanda
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#14
Feb 10, 2010, 03:33 AM
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Don't leave KDLady. Your loved one's need you as much as you need them. Your emotions are the only thing hurting them. Because they just want you to be happy. Sit calm and watch your loved ones live and try not to smile. Just watching my toddler play can hold me together on days I feel as you do.
__________________
"Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless." -Mother Teresa "Respect is love in plain clothes” -Frankie Byrne “Mankind must remember that peace is not God's gift to his creatures; peace is our gift to each other.” - Elie Wiesel “Just as despair can come to one only from other human beings, hope, too, can be given to one only by other human beings.” - Elie Wiesel "And even though you're fed up, Huh, ya got to keep your head up, Keep ya head up, oooo child things are gonna get easier, ooooo child things are gonna get brighter" - Keep Ya Head Up by Tupac Shakur |
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#15
Feb 12, 2010, 02:53 PM
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(((((KDlady)))))) So glad your meds were straightenend out. How are you now?
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