[peaches100]

I'm not sure if this question belongs more in the PTSD forum or here, so I'm putting it in both places.

I have not been diagnosed with DID, but my t says i definitely have dissociation between different parts of me. She has told me that i have child parts that are "stuck in the past." I understand that this refers to parts of me that still hold the pain of past traumas and who, when triggered, behave as though they were reliving the childhood trauma over and over again.

But here's my question. . .

My t has several times said things like, "We need to help the small parts become unburdened when they are ready to do so" and "I want to invite these parts to come into the present when they feel it is safe enough."

What does my t mean when she says the parts need to feel safe enough and/or be ready to get unstuck from the past and come into the present? How do i know when they are ready? What does this mean?

I don't feel like I have any control over when they do this, or if they are ready.

[(JD)]

The DD forum is probably the better place for this, as not everyone with DID has PTSD (that we know of presently.) And surely not everyone with PTSD had DID (though they do have dissociation issues.)

I think your T is spot-on!
When your "littles" as they are often called feel safe enough,
they will begin to come closer to the front of your conscious mind ...
but they probably won't share anything for quite a while.

I suggest having things for them to enjoy, to allow them to be "out" and have some fun ... so it's not all doom and gloom for them with memories.
But crayons and books, maybe a special diary just for someone who wants to write poetry or even draw. You may remember certain toys you loved, a doll or horse or bear etc., that might help comfort a little now.

It's really a strange phenomena that isn't fully understood yet today ...
how when something traumatic occurs, the brain chemicals dump in reaction and for some reason the memories of that event are then unable to be stored properly by the brain. Which means, whatever is part of the trauma can remain in active "files" and "stuck" in that time warp.

Rest assured, you won't have to go through each and every memory because once you work through one or two, the brain will then know how to store the other similar memories for you.


Plus, don't fear that whatever they are remembering is a total tragedy that you can't handle. It might not be a big deal to your adult self today. But it surely was a trauma to your little self then.

[purple_fins]

this is kind of like what I'm working on presently. I have two T.s-- one marriage one and one individual therapy one. I have been told by both that parts of me are coping like a child and other parts can sort-of cope as adult.

The marriage T., met with me alone once(she specializes in trauma) and she wrote down a list of "child" or old coping skills that I used as a child that worked back then but aren't correct to use as an adult--- who knew!!!
like one I have is "shut down"... when upset.... that's what I did as a child-- since a child in my situation was not heard... but that doesn't work in adult relationships. and another is "don't make waves" when I disagree with something..... that doesn't work well in relationships as an adult, but it kept things, at times, from escalating as a child...

She(the marriage T.) said that I react in "child" mode a lot of times(I'm working on feeling safer in order to cope in healthier adult ways).... or she could have said-- my child parts are taking over-- which they are and that I need to feel safe in order to get the scared child to let go and allow the new adult to cope in better ways--
No matter how it's said it's how it feels to the person struggling that matters. (but just because I have "parts" doens't mean I struggle with DID-- in my opinion...)
Everyone one has parts--such as there could be the "at work" part which can be different than the "spouse" part or the "adult offspring" part, there could alsob be the "playful child" part, the "scared child" part, the "in control" adult part and on and on.... People have many many masks that they put on throughout their day/life. I think that those with trauma might have a few more parts than the average person........

this is all just my views....
I'm not saying anything pro or against DID... it's VERY controversial.... I'd rather stay away from that debate. I think that just because a T. says one has child parts doens't necessarily mean one struggles with DID. I wish T.s would be more careful though how they word things.
(also, I'm not saying you are or are not DID .... that is between you and your T. and not any of my business... so I hope you're not offended.)

best to you

fins

[Elysium]

(((((Peaches)))))

Well, I think this would be a great question for T next time you see her.

From my point of view, it sounds like she is saying this more for the benefit of your smaller parts. From what I've learned working through DID and CPTSD so far, alters can be kept in the subconscious, not really allowed out, but can still be listening inside and also some alters can share info with other alters. This is called being co-conscious.

Now, I believe that dissociation is on a continuum and that you don't have to have DID to have parts. With PTSD it is possible to have more separated ego states, that have not yet been so separated that they become full blown alters. So it may be that your T is attempting to communicate with your ego states/smaller parts on a subconscious level to help gain their trust and help them feel safe. Once this happens, they will start to come forward. It doesn't seem that you have control over this on the outside, but internally when your parts feel ready, you will be able to bring them forward.

I think that sometimes too, T's won't always bring up a diagnosis of DID because some do not want to label it as such as it still has such a high stigma even within the Psychiatric/Psychological communities. Sometimes, I think, it's easier on us (the patients/clients) to just say PTSD with dissociation and leave it at that because PTSD is a much more accepted diagnosis than DID. Not as much stigma. My T says that, in her opinion and some other practitioner's opinions, that DID is merely the most severe form of complex PTSD; that it's at the extreme end of the dissociative spectrum.

Just my thoughts though. Hope this helps.

[purple_fins]

I forgot to say that I also dissociate, but I don't think it's to the extent of the diagnosis of DID.

and also "What does my t mean when she says the parts need to feel safe enough and/or be ready to get unstuck from the past and come into the present? " ...
I would think your T. means-- that the "child/children" in you have to really FEEL those feelings and learn what to do with those feelings and that -- that was then this is now. (a VERY hard concept to convince one of from childhood trauma!)
" How do i know when they are ready? " well, not that i"m there yet, but I think one has to push themself with a confident T. and with much support..... I don't believe that EVERYONE knows when/that they are ready... I really don't think so.... at least I don't have that much insight into myself with such trauma-- but maybe that's just me.....

fins

[Melbadaze]

Originally Posted by peaches100

I'm not sure if this question belongs more in the PTSD forum or here, so I'm putting it in both places.

I have not been diagnosed with DID, but my t says i definitely have dissociation between different parts of me. She has told me that i have child parts that are "stuck in the past." I understand that this refers to parts of me that still hold the pain of past traumas and who, when triggered, behave as though they were reliving the childhood trauma over and over again.

But here's my question. . .

My t has several times said things like, "We need to help the small parts become unburdened when they are ready to do so" and "I want to invite these parts to come into the present when they feel it is safe enough."

What does my t mean when she says the parts need to feel safe enough and/or be ready to get unstuck from the past and come into the present? How do i know when they are ready? What does this mean?

I don't feel like I have any control over when they do this, or if they are ready.

Perhaps thats more about your T's ways of dealing with trauma?

This has ALOT to do with IFS therapy and little to do with DID (especially if your T said you are not DID).

IFS believes that everyone has parts, that we are all made up of various parts that react and behave according to where they are. So yes, everyone has child parts that are stuck in the behaviors or actions or ways of thinking that a child is at the time of trauma or at the time that was very upsetting. There can be child parts that exist at different ages and stages. It is a way of saying, you have behaviors that are childlike and regressed. So, for example, you might have a part that soothes itself in a harmful way. That part is stuck in a time where it needs to learn to be soothed or soothe itself in a healthy way. Unburdening it is to find out what the part needs, helping it gets it need met, and allowing the Self to understand it.

IFS does believe in DID, but the difference between DID and "normal parts" are that DID parts are more extreme in their behaviors and are separated usually by amnesia. So the Self is not aware of the parts. (this begins to get more like DID therapy)

QUOTE from you:
"My t has several times said things like, "We need to help the small parts become unburdened when they are ready to do so" and "I want to invite these parts to come into the present when they feel it is safe enough."

The above quote is typical IFS language. The bells are ringing!

I suggest that you look up Richard Schwartz who created IFS and get his book. It will tell you everything you need to know. It won't tell you how to do the therapy, but it will help explain what your T is doing and what the parts are that each of us has inside us. And the concepts of unburdening the parts to free the Self.