[tifferific]

Don't even know were to end or to start. But I've been told that I'm never ever going to get better if I don't start looking at my issues from my ptsd. Well here's the kicker in the ***** I don't think I even remember half of it. I've compleatly shut down.
I am still angry. Scared abandonded, a million fellings. Butto get to it all how? Years of filth?
And my life depends on it?
I do get one thing. The cloud that comes and anorexia is the devil. Or my friend. I don't know anymore.

[skeksi]

It's scary isn't it!

I was so scared when I first started to work through all of it. Like you, I was so numb and shut down. I feel a lot more now. I spent a lot of the first few months in therapy just talking about what the numbness was like. After a while, as you feel safer and braver, some of the numbness will fade.

You don't have to remember everything to work through it. You just have to get through what is in you at the moment. Does that make sense? One breath at a time, one feeling at a time.

You are right that the anorexia is part of this, too, and you can fight it along with all the other nasty crap PTSD brings us.

Hello, tifferific. Maybe you have to start the process and see where it leads?