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#1
Aug 16, 2005, 01:17 PM
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I was doing better, and then last night when I was taking the dog out, I was standing on the patio and well it was late, but I left the door to the house open, and started to feel scared. He was taking so long to go potty, and I was gripping the door handle with one hand, and the leash with the other. I started thinking that someone could come around the corner, and well at least I had my dog, he loves me and would do anything to keep me safe. Then I though, well what if they had a gun, and they shot my dog.. would I run our and try to save my dog? Or would I try to run in and lock the door, because if I ran out to the dog the door would be left open, and they could walk in and get my children. Then I thought well, while I was trying to lock the door they could shoot me through the glass... by the time the dog went potty, I was gripping the handle so tight that my hand was turning white. I am sure my dog was sensing my anxiety, because he kept looking around, and it was causing him to take so long. I woke up this morning, and just felt sad, and trying to keep my thoughts busy so that they don't wander and freak me out.
I finally called a therapist today. She called me back, and I am going to see her next tuesday, luckily she is only 9 min away.. I hope she helps. I chose a woman this time, because I think I just don't like men. I can't really think of any man that I would say that I really like, and I always think they are going to do something harmful to someone. So here is hoping tuesday goes well 
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#2
Aug 16, 2005, 06:06 PM
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(((jcsierra)))) I'm glad you have an appointment. I, too, have felt just as you so aptly described. My added fears are : my dog is deaf, so unless he smelled them, he might not realize someone was there until too late. (His sniffer is really good though.) and, that he will still remember my ex, and though he protected me at that time, I don't know "which" response he would have to him....
Breathe. 
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#3
Aug 16, 2005, 06:26 PM
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Glad I am not the only one
I wonder sometimes if I am more crazy than everyone else lol!
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#4
Aug 16, 2005, 06:30 PM
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Nope. PTSD is a beast. has it's own rules of NO rules... some foundational stuff but then it's all "un" fair play. TC
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