[Trippin2.0]

My father passed away in January, my 6y.o and he were exceptionally close, he was her dad too.

Over the pass few months, she has cried maybe 3 TIMES, and communicated her anger (calmly) over his abrupt passing. ( Stroke + Heart Failure)
She has made it VERRY clear that she will not be openly sad or discuss her feelings about his passing b/c she does not want to upset me or my mother. She flat out refuses

I didn't know what to make of her decision, but recently she's been having trouble sleeping, I think her buried feeling just got exhumed, and it's manifesting in her sleep.

She screams and cries for him every night, despite the sleep aid the Dr provided, needless to say she wakes up exhausted and does NOT look forward to school...
She used to be very sweet and laid back, now she's snappish, irritable and cries at the drop of a hat.

My hands are tied as she won't open up to me, I feel inadequate...

IS it possible that she is suffering from PTSD 8 MONTHS LATER? and at the age of 6?? More importantly, whatever the label... HOW DO I HELP HER?

Looking forward to your input

[sugahorse1]

PTSD can happen in children, and there is a post further down discussing delayed PTSD. Sometimes one dissociates for as long as necessary. Perhaps this is what she was doing, or possibly still is. Can you enlist the help of a psychologist specialising in children? Or is there anyone close to her that she will open up to? Maybe her teacher?
Does she still see her father? I take it, that your dad was her "father figure"?

Trippin - you're going through a lot right now, and I pray for strength for you to get through this. Don't walk this path alone - there are people out there, and we all care for you.

[Trippin2.0]

Thanks suga
She and I decided that her dad was a deadbeat, so we got rid of him...

She was already close to my dad, so she didn't really experience that loss at the time either.

I take it, that your dad was her "father figure"?

I didn't use those words because he was a better dad than hers ever was, but yes he wasn't biologically her dad, no. I had a GREAT dad

Guess I should see if I can make an appt to see her teacher, if all else fails, get her a doc too?...

Trippin - you're going through a lot right now, and I pray for strength for you to get through this

Thanks, my niece just informed me she's pregnant, lucky for her she's at least 21, but our family is still gonna freak... so your strength is VERY much appreciated and well received

[sugahorse1]

I would def go and see her teacher. They have such an influence on a young child's life. I'm not sure how much a doctor as such would help her, but definitely a social worker or psychologist for her to talk to

[purple_fins]

I'm sorry for the loss of your father.

While I don't know if your daughter is experiencing PTSD, one is not supposed to diagnose another here, as this site isnt a diagnosis site....
however, with that said... I have read that certainly children can experience PTSD even much younger than your daughter.

was wondering... about this though:

She has made it VERRY clear that she will not be openly sad or discuss her feelings about his passing b/c she does not want to upset me or my mother. She flat out refuses

wonder why would she be avoiding upsetting you or your mother? sounds like she's not wanting adults to show their emotions... I wonder what has created that within her?

and also this:

She and I decided that her dad was a deadbeat, so we got rid of him...

ummmmm... Im not meaning to be nosey but.... you said you and your daughter(of six years old) decided her dad was a deadbeat? that seems like an overly bearingly HUGE decision for a 6 year old.
and "we" got rid of him?? .... again... a 6 year old??

emotions can be confusing even for adults, let alone a child with the loss of two men in her very young life.

I certainly don't mean any disrespect just that....
well, I may not understand the whole situation,
it's just I so love children and wish for them all to feel safe and secure to laugh, cry, yell and love....

I hope that you and your daughter find comfort and support in your loss.

respectully
fins

[Trippin2.0]

PF
Her dad is an abusive (2ward me)drug addict. When I left him I did n0t initially revoke his parental rights. She told me that she didn't want n0r need such a ****** daddy,she's g0t mine. In the 2yrs since we broke up,he came to see her (see n0t visit) 4TIMES,and he lives 10MINUTES AWAY. I spoke to her about him and that's when we decided that n0 dad would be the better option than a part time 1,but she can change her mind anytime should she miss him. He's never really been involved in her life,that was his choice all along. I involve her in the decisions I make b/c it's important for me to know how she feels before I decide anything that affects her. Might n0t be conventional,but that's how I do it. Thanks for your input tho,a fresh perspective is much appreciated.

[Evening]

Is this kind of situation the kind that causes PTSD? Death is always very traumatic for everyone, and for some people the trauma can last longer than for others. But I thought that PTSD from death was more from situations such as coming across a body, seeing someone murdered or killed, a war, etc., not from someone's general passing. Having said that, the sooner she gets help, the less likely it will cause major trauma for her in the future. I wasn't diagnosed with PTSD until I was 20, and it screwed me up big time. Being young, she may be finding it very difficult to comprehend death the way an older person can, she may not know how to properly deal with what has happened.

[purple_fins]

I'm sorry you endured abuse. that must have been awful.

thank you for taking my post for the support it was intended to be.

my heart is just always with the children, as they don't have the life experiences that we adults have...they can't make the same choices that we can, they don't have the ability to earn a living, to vote, to drive... etc... etc... they truly need adults protection and love as I'm sure you give to your daughter.

my heart is with you and your daughter.

regards
fins

[KathyM]

Hi Trippin

Death is a part of life. He didn't abandon her. It was just time for him to go away so that he could serve as her angel. That kind of love never dies.

I like the book "The Fall of Freddie the Leaf" by Leo Buscaglia. It's a good story on the necessity of the circle of life, and it's for all ages - especially children. It helped my son at age 7 when his grandpa died. They were extremely close too.

http://www.amazon.com/Fall-Freddie-Leaf-Story-Life/dp/0805010645

[Trippin2.0]

Thanks for your input guys, I appreciate it very much. Jordan is my life and I'm doing my best. I've requested a meeting with her teacher as she's quite taken with her,and might just open up to her. Thanks again. XOXO