[laineycon]

Hey guys, I'm new here. I was just wanting to write my story down and ask for your input or relations! Last summer, myself, my little brother my husband and a friend went to a place called Forest Hills. It's a place to ride 4-wheelers and swim and stuff. We went to the lake and my husband and the friend decided to swim across it. My brother and I stayed behind, then we decided to try to swim it as well. I wasn't worried about my brother because he is very athletic. Well, he started panicking abot halfway across the lake. He was trying to hold himself up on me so he was pushing me under the water. I wasn't really scared for me bc I can float really well, but my brother was drowning. I screamed as loud as I could for my husband and luckily they heard me and got to us in the nick of time. Since that day I feel guilty for some reason. I feel horrified that i almost watched my brother drown. Every time I think about it I feel like I felt when it was happening. I also have dreams where I wake up crying and screaming for my husband to save my brother. I feel very overprotective of brother and I don't want anyone to hurt him. I'm just not sure what I should do about it! Any help would be appreciated! Thanks guys.

-Lainey

[madisgram]

laineycan you turn around the fear and be thankful your brother was saved? that may help you see the glass half full -being saved-rather than half empty-possibly drowning.

[laineycon]

Thank you Madisgram That helped alot and made me feel better. It also gave me an enlightenment, see no one in my family really know what to say to make me feel better, they try, but they've never been there. I really appreciate you taking the time to help me out!

-Lainey

[(JD)]

While you put this into the PTSD forum, there's still a chance that if you seek treatment, it may not be so...or severe at least.... The sooner you seek help to work through a traumatic experience, the less grip it has on you.

Glad you're all ok.

[Perna]

It sounds like your brother might have some of the same sorts of anxiety issues you do? Maybe you could help him get counseling (are you in counseling?)? Helping your brother care for himself as you learn to care better for yourself (you should have minded that he was panicked and threatening to drown you too!) might make you feel better about this experience.

[reader1587]

Originally Posted by laineycon

Hey guys, I'm new here. I was just wanting to write my story down and ask for your input or relations! Last summer, myself, my little brother my husband and a friend went to a place called Forest Hills. It's a place to ride 4-wheelers and swim and stuff. We went to the lake and my husband and the friend decided to swim across it. My brother and I stayed behind, then we decided to try to swim it as well. I wasn't worried about my brother because he is very athletic. Well, he started panicking abot halfway across the lake. He was trying to hold himself up on me so he was pushing me under the water. I wasn't really scared for me bc I can float really well, but my brother was drowning. I screamed as loud as I could for my husband and luckily they heard me and got to us in the nick of time. Since that day I feel guilty for some reason. I feel horrified that i almost watched my brother drown. Every time I think about it I feel like I felt when it was happening. I also have dreams where I wake up crying and screaming for my husband to save my brother. I feel very overprotective of brother and I don't want anyone to hurt him. I'm just not sure what I should do about it! Any help would be appreciated! Thanks guys.

-Lainey

I'm confused it sounds like you did try to help him but he kept pushing you under (which is what drowning people do)...presumably this would have triggered a survival response in you as well...which means it sounds like you're saying that you feel guilty that you didn't let him take your life first in an attempt to save himself? If so, I don't think that's something you need to feel bad about, people are mammals too and we're hard-wired to protect ourselves, it doesn't mean you're a "bad person".

[laineycon]

Originally Posted by (JD)

While you put this into the PTSD forum, there's still a chance that if you seek treatment, it may not be so...or severe at least.... The sooner you seek help to work through a traumatic experience, the less grip it has on you.

Glad you're all ok.

Thank you so very much, I've been thinking about getting some help for the situation! I really appreciate your advice

-Lainey

[laineycon]

Originally Posted by Perna

It sounds like your brother might have some of the same sorts of anxiety issues you do? Maybe you could help him get counseling (are you in counseling?)? Helping your brother care for himself as you learn to care better for yourself (you should have minded that he was panicked and threatening to drown you too!) might make you feel better about this experience.

My brother is a typical teenage boy haha. I think he just tried to put it out of his mind, he doesnt really talk about it much, but he has told my mom that he was terrified! i'm not currently in counseling, however I've been thinking about it, and I think it would be a good idea for me and my brother! Thank you so much for your advice

-Lainey

[laineycon]

Originally Posted by reader1587

I'm confused it sounds like you did try to help him but he kept pushing you under (which is what drowning people do)...presumably this would have triggered a survival response in you as well...which means it sounds like you're saying that you feel guilty that you didn't let him take your life first in an attempt to save himself? If so, I don't think that's something you need to feel bad about, people are mammals too and we're hard-wired to protect ourselves, it doesn't mean you're a "bad person".

I really wish I could undesrstand why I feel guilty? I'm trying to look inside and figure that out, but it's been difficult I really appreciate you coming and helping me out, though. It means a lot when someone understands where I'm coming from! thank you a lot

_Lainey

[Can't Stop Crying]

Guilt usually stems from the thought that we did something wrong - you did nothing wrong. It doesn't help the feeling though does it? Sometimes you can counter the negative thought with a more realistic one - my brother is okay, I held him up, I called for help, etc., and once you start truly believing these statements, it can help the guilty feelings to fade.
Hope this helps!

[laineycon]

Originally Posted by Can't Stop Crying

Guilt usually stems from the thought that we did something wrong - you did nothing wrong. It doesn't help the feeling though does it? Sometimes you can counter the negative thought with a more realistic one - my brother is okay, I held him up, I called for help, etc., and once you start truly believing these statements, it can help the guilty feelings to fade.
Hope this helps!

Thank you so much, you are so right, I just need to look at the bright side of it, that he was saved and I did all I could. I appreciate the advice very much!!

-Lainey