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#1
Apr 12, 2011, 10:49 PM
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Sometimes I get an obsession with the meghan's law website and I can't stop myself from looking up every person in a 100 mile radius mapping ways to avoid the homes and making sure none live near my little niece or near places she goes often. If I go away on vacations or out of town I map all of those too. I feel this is because I never got justice and my abuser isn't on the list so it's the only way I know how to "make up for it". By avoiding everyone who is on the list.
Sometimes If I feel okay I may look into their crimes and match it up with whether they were abusing children and only avoiding those who were. For example there was a man in at my office who was on the list, my brother ( a cop) taught me how to read crimes in the law "fashion". In essence this man slept with a prostitute. Sometimes I'm not afraid of him, because he's mentally ill and has a low IQ. Sometimes I tell myself he knew it was wrong, but probably didn't understand what's really behind a prostitute. (Prostitutes don't choose the profession, it's often forced). So sometimes I can accept and sometimes I'm afraid of him. Does anyone else do this to "avoid something bad"? Or anything similar? How can I stop the obsession/compulsion? |
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#2
Apr 14, 2011, 05:37 AM
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I wish I had the answer...sometimes I'm the same way. My mind gets zeroed in on something and I just can't stop. In college, I happened across the schools offender registry, turns out my lab partner was convicted of CSA....I completely freaked out. After that, every class I enrolled in, I checked the registry against the student list and dropped classes with offenders. I do that for my neighborhood too.
The only thing I can suggest is talking about it in therapy, my T is helping me understand the difference between keeping myself/my family safe and compulsively looking for danger around every corner.
__________________
 Children's talent to endure stems from their ignorance of alternatives. ~ Maya Angelou Thank you SadNEmpty for my avatar and signature.
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#3
Apr 16, 2011, 12:20 AM
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"my T is helping me understand the difference between keeping myself/my family safe and compulsively looking for danger around every corner."
hmm this sounds like a good idea. I don't know the difference anymore. |
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