[SoupDragon]

My youngest son is now 5. When he was born he was swapped by a careless midwife with another baby. Thankfully I noticed, when they brought the other baby to me that he was not mine and got my own son back. But he had been gone for 3 hours and had been breat fed by the other mother. I can remember it all in such detail, almost second by second and that absolute disbelief that it could have happened. I discharged myself that same day (had a caesarian so it was against doctors advice) - the consultant tried to persuade me to stay and suggested I have a cup of tea to see if I felt better afterwards!!!

Kindly the other mother agreed to have blood tests to reassure me that she did not not have a disease that could be transmitted via breast milk. One of the hardest things is that no-one has ever wanted to talk to me about it. The midwife who viisted me at home asked how I was feeling and I said if I thought about it I felt very sad and would cry - she responded "Let's not talk about it them".

It has taken me a long time to trust anyone with him and I am still anxious when not with him. I also feel guilty that I let him down, that I should not have let him out of my sight. I also worry what he may think about me if he finds out in the future.

I still find it quite unreal really.

[Can't Stop Crying]

That was completely and utterly out of your control. You did absolutely nothing wrong! You can talk about it here. I think the feelings of anxiety are a completely normal response. Remind yourself that he is safe with you now and this was not your fault!

If he ever does find out, I can't imagine him blaming you or thinking you did anything wrong - you were the one who pointed out they gave you the wrong baby - truly a mother's instinct and bond had already formed!

It's tough when people are dismissive about the things that are very painful for us!

[PJango]

SoupDragon,
first of all, I can completely understand your feelings, and how appalling that this would have happened to you and your son. What really stood out to me was when you said:

"Thankfully I noticed". I'm thinking that as you can talk this out, whenever and wherever you find the need to, the more you can reassure yourself that you CAN trust yourself to NOTICE. Once you can begin to trust yourself to notice, I'm wondering if it will help ease some of the intensity it sounds like you still carry over this horrible situation.

[SoupDragon]

Yes I had never thought of it like that - other than the self crticisim of haiving let him down and not having kept him safe, at times my head plays the scenario of not having noticed and for having left the hospital with the wrong baby - but yes I did notice didn't I - thank-you

[PTSDlovemycats]

I am so sorry that happened to you.