[Gently1]

Monday: I had my waited / dreaded appointment to go over the details of the SA. This was my idea the session before and I had last minute jitters, and with a little warm up did what I needed to do and it did help create a feeling of intregration.

I trust my T, and let myself feel intense the previous breath work did help, and with guidence kept between a range of intensity and discovery that has disolved the 'flashback' into memories. I can not forget the past or want to, I acknowledged the influence that has been unconscious in my life for over 45 years, it has made me what I am today. I see the light at the end of the tunnel.

I was very energized after the appointment, normally I am past exhustion, but now I can say 'IT WAS NOT MY FAULT! and not hate the 3-4 year old that let this happen. My power was even at that age the KNOWING that what was done was wrong, and with the Love of my grandma I had to Will to tell her what happened.

I am exhusted, even good news is exhusting with depression, and am resting as needed. ( not much PC time).

My goal for the time between appointments is to focus on remembering my basic human powers, not having been to this place before I can imagine there will be days of doubt and days of confidence that I do matter.

Thanks for 'listening', it was like looking over a cliff and jumping hoping for a safe landing to face the fears of the unknown. Now I get a chance to get to know the real me without the burden of guilt. Baby steps.

To everyone on this path, best of journeys.
G1