Flashbacks

Hey Cats,

What do you think about that? Are you relieved you don't have to work through the flashbacks yet, or do you wish you could just get it over with?

I was actually kinda surprised that she said that but yea, I am kinda glad that I don't have to work on them yet. I just really hate how painful they are and always feel like a small lost child lost in the forest during the flashbacks...

Don't worry. Easier said than done, but know you're not alone. Your woodcutter will come eventually

Have you ever tried hypnotherapy before? I was having horrible flashbacks all the time for years and after doing sessions for about 6 weeks they completely stopped. I don't know if it works for everyone but it really did wonders for me. I'd talk with your therapist about it and see if they can recommend anyone for you to see. I did it about 6 years ago and haven't had any since and now I'm doing cognitive behavioral therapy to help with my other issues. I still get triggered and have anxiety and such but no flashbacks.

I have overcome my flashbacks. I did remember my past so I didn't understand why I had the flashbacks. So after a flashback I really thought about what it showed me.
And I could hears sounds in my flashback and saw details in it too. I was very frightened because I didn't understand them. But then I realized that the sounds were triggers that I always had, and did not know it.

One of the things that I had a flashback about was doors. I could see the doors and I was running through them. I happen to be in the place where the doors were in my past. I could hear the doors slamming and I had remembered why. I was trying to get away and I was very frightened. I was very unaware that the sounds of doors upset me. And if I was sleeping and a door would open I would really startle. And I also would get very angry at the sound of doors, I even would fill with rage. I had never connected the sound with the feelings before. Not until I had the flashback.

Now everytime I hear a door I know that I have to concentrate on not getting upset.
But before I had no idea that it brought on anxiety and even anger suddenly.

I don't think that one should be afraid of flashbacks. When it happens try to remember that it is not happening now but try to see what is there that may be triggers you are unaware of. People with PTSD often have many triggers that they are unaware of. So there is information in the flashbacks. Tell yourself not to be afraid of them, it is a flash of memory that is brought on by a trigger of that experience. The idea is to remember consciously that you are not there anymore and you are just working on acknowledging it and then you can learn how to consciously
overcome it.

When you return to your past there is a lot of information in that past that you never had time to reason with. Now, in therapy, you are going to consciously reason with it and realize that it was in your past and at the time you were unable to either defend yourself or understand the situation. That is why we call it Trama.

It is so important to become consciously aware that it is not happening now and you were startled by something, or someone, and you are now addressing it on a more conscious level, a level of reason. It is like you are now a Guardian of yourself and you are finding ways to become stronger and know that past cannot hurt you anymore. Say to yourself, I AM NOW MY GUARDIAN AND I AM GOING TO OVERCOME. It is a conscious effort, you are no longer going to be frightened or be ashamed of anything in your past. It is in the past and you are making sure that any thing there is not going to be triggered in your day to day life.

Many people get the wrong idea about flashbacks. And the purpose of letting out your past is to GRIEVE IT and OVERCOME IT, it is not about being re traumatized.
When we have bad things happen there is always something we can learn from it, believe it or not. But we cannot learn if we continue to run. We must now face it and GRIEVE IT and overcome it. Many people feel ashamed, embarrassed and frightened to open up and talk about their past. But, once you do that, you will grow from it and NOW BE A STRONG GUARDIAN FOR YOURSELF. It is about building strength, not being ashamed or embarassed. And you must realize that it was not your fault even if you may think in some way it was. You are now ready to take the bull by the horns and overcome it and learn how to work your life better in spite of it.

It has to be a CONSCIOUS EFFORT TOWARD STRENGTH, not shame and fear.

It can be very much like the water in the Wizard of OZ that destroyed the wicked witch. One you see what is there, you can picture yourself taking a bucket of water and pouring on that memory and think of it shrinking away to nothing. Because NOW, you are taking control.

You can either train your brain to continue to be afraid or ashamed, or you can train yourself that it is over, you have seen it, you see the triggers and you are going to move on. You have more power than you think.

Open Eyes

I am looking forward to that!

I went for hypnotherapy a few years ago for this very reason and unfortunately for me it did not work.

Open Eyes, you have so much helpful stuff in your reply, I just want to thank you for taking the time to write such a lengthy wonderful response!

Your welcome PTSDlovemycats,

For a long time I really didn't understand PTSD. At first I thought it was something that would just go away. But it doesn't just go away and it has to be treated very seriously by whoever has it. And the first thing one has to do is understand what it really means. I have been really working on that, as it is so hard to explain and like other people who have PTSD I too struggle to somehow try to tell others, its so hard, and Im trying.

When I write about it now, I think about what I wanted to know and needed to know after I was told I am battling PTSD. And as people who don't have it talk about just do this and just do that. I know how hard it is and how angry and frustrating it can be when just doing this and that doesn't make it disappear.

And I realized how extremely personal it is and I just want people who have PTSD,
I understand the struggle. And it is not about being retramatized or running or coping, it is about taking the time you need to really morn it. And not be so ashamed or angry or feel guilty it really takes time to morn it and each person is different as it is so personal.

Open Eyes

I just wanted to add something to this. I had a meeting with my therapist today and he discussed one of the methods of therapy that is used with patients. He talked about how the attention is drawn to the patient realizing that they did survive the events that caused the PTSD.

I had a clear reply to him that set him back in his thinking. I expressed to him that I felt that most PTSD victims already know they survived it, of course they are here and functioning on some level. It is not about concentrating on the fact that we have survived it. The therapy must address a few issues. First the person who has PTSD has to bring out the actual experience or experiences. Then, while they did get through it, what must come forward is how they were effected by their part in the survival of it. Because most victims blame themselves not only for the event and how they dealt with it, but that they continue to surpress it and have a circle of emotions they face surrounding it.

Luckily I had a good example for him. In the beginning of our session I asked him about his parents, his mother is still alive but his father passed away when his father was around 68 which is still fairly young. He told me that his father had cancer and they had expected him to suffer for a long time. But to their surprise he fell asleep, and had a massive heart attack and passed. My response was that this was the best most humane way to go verses the other route. He told me that when people told him that it did not sit well with him, after all, he still lost his father.

So that gave me an opportunity to talk to him about people with PTSD. I told him to really think about his response to how his father died and how he did not respond well to that response. That is the same response a PTSD victim will have by simply being directed to the thought that at least they did survive it. And as I was able to do that he began to realize what I was saying and what it meant.

My concern about the treatment of PTSD is that there are a lot of efforts made towards finding methods to further surpress the events that caused the PTSD to begin with. And I can see the struggle my therapist is having with just sitting and listening and not addressing certain methods that are part of the current programs of how to address PTSD that are being tried today.

The focus must be placed on allowing each victim to discuss the events and even the flashbacks and then learn how to morn these events and how it TOOK SOMETHING FROM THEM. And that is what all the circle of emotions are about.
As I have read all the posts that talk about therapy and the fear of the visits and the BIG REVEAL so to speak and all the fears about being able to do that, I get very concerned. And the other posts that concern me are the ones where patients really struggle between sessions with the therapists. As when they begin to discuss the events and THE THINGS THAT WERE STOLEN FROM THEM, they have great difficulty in the time when they now have to deal with bringing the events to the surface. And it is much like having someone there to open a door to a closet that has a big monster in it and then being left alone with the door open until the therapist comes again to look at the monster in the closet. I think that is wrong.

I think that it is wonderful that PC is here to comfort those who are going through this process, but it is just not enough. An hour of standing in front of the door and then leaving it open for several days is not the way to go, IMO.

Personally I feel that this leaves a patient in a state of mind that can have such an impact that they may end up having to be hospitalized because they now are dealing with a rapid cycle of the circle of emotions that become overwhelming. And this is really when a therapist should be present. And I know this from personal experience.

Personally I feel a patient needs to be on a close contact schedule the involves more successive days where the therapist can stand in front of the closet door with each patient and walk them through the PROPER GRIEVING PROCESS WITH TIME TO ALSO WALK THEM THROUGH THE RELAXATION METHODS AS WELL.

I do see the benefits of COGNITIVE THERAPY and other methods of learning how to work through the times where patients deal with anxiety attacks that are part of the circle of all the emotions that are storred BY THE SUPRESSING TO BEGIN WITH.
But that should all take place after the GRIEVING PROCESS. I am concerned about applying methods toward suppression. I would rather see the patient have the time to actually morn the loss first. Once the patient has acknowedged the loss and that has been validated, then they can examine the ways they did SURVIVE and SURPRESS IT and learn new ways to CONSCIOUSLY see how they addressed it and focus on LEARNING HOW TO CONSCIOUSLY ADDRESS IT NOW. But the LOSS HAS TO BE RECOGNIZED AND BE FINALLY GRIEVED.

And as we all know, everyone grieves differently and it does take time. It cannot be a MAN UP approach which just leads to suppression resulting in anger and guilt. A person with PTSD has to be able to talk about WHAT THEY ACTUALLY LOST FIRST.
When that door opens there are events that took place and that was the beginning of the loss. A patient really needs to talk about that in a way that they are recieving comfort and support and feel they are being allowed to greive that event or events. And it has to be done where the patient clearly understands that they are not doing so to experience being re-traumatized. Instead they should be directed that the only pupose for the discussion is to LEARN more about what happend and how they WILL BE GUIDED TO LOOK AT IT VERY DIFFERENTLY.

Open Eyes