[aeylania]

Okay, this is going to sound weird. When I first went to the clinic I go to for my T and pdoc (sliding scale fee clinic for people with no insurance), I was diagnosed as Bipolar NOS, with anxiety and PTSD. I apparently have the symptoms and signs of having PTSD, but I don't have one main bad event that I can recall that I think would give me post traumatic stress.

I had a rough childhood, I won't go into details in case it triggers someone, but it was bad. Lots of neglect, some verbal/physical abuse, and my mother struggled with MPD/DID when I was growing up. Could events that I am uncomfortable thinking about, but don't see as huge be what created the PTSD? I'm just really confused about my diagnosis, as I don't see what created it. Could I be blocking something out- is it possible to have symptoms, but not remember why?

I don't receive the best counseling since it is an income based clinic, and I haven't yet asked my doctor about this. I plan to next time I see her (august 2nd), I just wanted to get some outside perspective before I go.

[Nammu]

Yes it is possible. I was diagnosed PTSD for two years before I felt safe enough to remember. You don't have to be in any hurry to prove or disprove this diagnosis, just go slow and be sure you feel good about the T you mainly talk with and things will happen when the time is right. If you have a anxiety disorder of some other kind it will become apparent in time too. The symptoms for PTSD are fairly clear so don't be surprised if even a sliding scale clinic gets it right. Loss or protected memories are common. It's your minds way of keeping you safe and productive when things are not safe. Take care. Stay safe.

[Crew]

Yeah I agree with sidestepper...

You'd be suprised though what can cause PTSD... I know that it can take as little as living in a house that has a bunch of raw feelings attached to it...

Try checking with your local hospital for help in getting therapy. I know I had help in the early days in getting help.

and hang in there... things seem to make themselves known when your ready... Crew

[skeksi]

A rough childhood, physical abuse, and neglect are all potential causes of PTSD. PTSD is not always caused by a single, one time, massive trauma. Here is some more info on complext PTSD, it may sound familiar.

[Perna]

According to the Mayo Clinic's site, "having been abused or neglected as a child", is one of the risk factors: http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/pos...N=risk-factors

Just long-time neglect could cause present interpretations of neglect by you to "trigger" you. My mother died when I was 3, was sick all my life up until then and not able to adequately care for me and I was badly triggered when I was in my late 40's and my stepmother became senile. Her inability to care for herself reawakened all the terror of "who's going to take care of me?" that I had as a 3 and 4 year old in a household with my working father and three older brothers (in school). I had to help care for my stepmother when I was feeling like a 3 year old myself.

When the maid could not come (she was my primary daily care-taker) and my father had to scramble to find someone to leave me with, often they were a "stranger" to me and not knowing where I was, with whom, if/when my father would return (having already had my mother "leave" me) made me, to this day, feel anxious when I'm in someone else's house; I even have trouble caring for my grandchildren in "their" house. I was lousy at babysitting as a teen, hated it because it made me so anxious but I didn't know why.

I had been out of therapy for nearly 10 years, was happily married to a great husband but had to start therapy again to deal with the anxiety of my stepmother's decline and death (the hospital she was in when ill where I had to visit was the same my mother died in 40+ years earlier).

So, "the" event doesn't have to be anything big, like "war" or a car accident, it just has to be something that forms enough of a pattern in itself so that when the pattern is "repeated" now in some way, it causes you distress.