[googley]

I'm trying to work on one of my traumas that I haven't discussed before in my therapy. However, it is bringing up all these feelings about other abuse and causing nightmares. I hate how it is all tied up together. I'm so scared to talk about it I can't say anything about it in T. I get so overwhelmingly scared.

[my3sns]

trauma processing is so hard , my heart goes out to you !

Its SOOO hard to talk about these things, I know...I am really sorry you're getting the nightmares too. It can be really tough. My therapist says that the nightmares and dreams I have about the trauma stuff are my mind trying to work through it all, process it all, even when I am asleep. It WILL help eventually if you keep talking about it... please hang in there, it won't be like this forever.

[siljie]

I know exactly how this feels, and all I can say is hang in there. ): I once told my T that it felt as if I were falling deeper and deeper into a dark trench, and each time I tried to escape I only fell back in. She told me that when I fell back in, I was actually a little less far back than I thought. I found this extremely hard to believe, but perhaps she is right. In order to overcome our struggles, we must go through them, inch by inch. And maybe, just maybe, relief will slowly inch its way to us. It's SO hard, but we must force ourselves to think about it, without letting the abuser have the dominance in our mind, and must tell ourselves that the only authority they have over us now is in our memories - nothing else. Dreams are our subconscious trying to release what we try so dearly to hold back. And sadly, in order to go forward, we must first re-trace our steps...

[googley]

Thank you all for your support. This is a really hard process. I guess what really weirds me out is that I am having nightmares of one trauma when processing in T another one. It is like they are all tied together.

[Open Eyes]

You know googley, I don't why that happens either, I have to say it mistified me.

It is almost like all the bad things go in the same area of the mind and once one is faced than they stand in line waiting to be recognized.

I am sorry that you are experiencing that, but that is the way it is somehow and you just have to address things as they come. But just know that once it is all out and you have time to validate it, morn it and realize that you can self sooth those memories they will get easier to finally put to rest. It is a process and don't get discouraged it will settle down.

Try to concentrate on self soothing and nurturing. You are a strong person and you can take control consciously inching your way beyond your past. Keep telling your mind that you are ready to self sooth and heal. This way you are the one taking the final control and being strong.

Just remember we are all here to listen and support you. Keep us informed about how you are making out.

Open Eyes

[Crew]

First of all (((((googley))))))

Trauma processing is hard no doubt about that. I agree with Open Eyes in that
nuturing is important. Also, we have learned that your mind gives you no more then you can handle and many a times I had backed up trauma...the kind of processing that makes you feel that maybe it's not worth doing. Hang in there and use everything you can think of to deal. I still think drawing the left over trauma processing is so important cause it helps you get it Out of ya... something a therapist told me once, every processing that you do, reward yourself by getting something you like. Also if you draw something dark follow it up with a pleasent picture that grounds you...
Remember though (((googley))) reward yourself and reward the process, inch by inch you will get through it... Way to ask for help!!!

Were here googley if you ever need to talk or just sitting with you I would do in a heartbeat if you need it... just ask! Take Care... and know your thought of even more... Peace... and Crew