[I had no idea]

While my husband & I were engaged to be married, I found out that he had been dipping (tobacco) & it was a huge deal to me, because I told him that I would not marry anyone who dipped. I find it disgusting, very dangerous to your health and did not want to be married to someone with such a habit. He said that he was not addicted and he could easily stop and would do that for me and never do it again. I said that I would have a harder time trusting him for a while, but he promised that he wouldn't do it again, and understood the reasons I had for not marrying someone with that habit. About 1&1/2 years into our marriage I found a receipt he left on the kitchen table for skoal. I confronted him about it and he admitted to me that he was lying to me and had been doing this behind my back. It developed some even bigger trust issues with us, and since I was pregnant with our 1st child I said I refuse to raise a child in a house where the father dips. We went through all of this for about 3 weeks where he apologized profusely and once again promised that he was just stressed and he would never do it again. We have now been married for 5+ years & I found evidence today that he was doing it again. Now that I have full blown PTSD and cannot trust a soul, this is killing me. I kept thinking to myself that I had my husband that I could trust, but while I am seeking help he is at home de-stressing by chewing tobacco...the thing that he promised he would never do and realized that it had the potential to ruin my trust with him. I understand having me going through this stresses him out, but I always told him that if he was ever having thoughts about doing it again to come and talk to me because I would be much more open to a civilized conversation than to a conversation in which he has now betrayed me 3 times over the same issue, knowing that I have extreme trust issues. We now have 2 children and I have no trust in my husband. What on earth do you think I should do?

[Open Eyes]

Have you ever had your husband visit with your therapist? PTSD can be so difficult for spouces to understand and they can become very troubled and confused by the mood changes and all the things PTSD victims address.

I know it is difficult to know your husband is doing something behind your back, obviously he uses the tobacco for a release. Be thankful he is not an alcoholic or cheating on you with someone. There are worse things, I have dealt with much worse. But I understand the issue with trust.

Try to start by having him see your therapist and before he sees your therapist make your therapist aware of your concerns.

Welcome to PC I had no Idea,

Open Eyes