Diagnosed with Complex PTSD

Well, I finally have a diagnosis and it's Complex PTSD as a result of abuse on the job. Oddly, the people who did this to me have kept their jobs and I have lost mine. This type of repeated treatment has also left me very depressed and insecure.

I have discussed it with my T; it's a pattern he would like to see me change. We are talking about how I can better verbally defend myself. What I have done in the past is brushed off the harsh verbal abuse, only to have it surface as PTSD. I have always worked hard but, in my desire to be liked and easy going, I would ignore problematic signs. For some reason, I start out being liked at work and end up being disliked.

Prejudice about being gay is part of the problem. I am seen as weak and expendable. No one will stand up for me. I am ignored and resented by a lot of people. I am fun time for on the job bullies and others looking to get ahead at my expense. I don't know what to do about it. It's the same wherever I go.

Other than find distractions to help with the PTSD, I do not know what to do to make my life better and to change this pattern.

People can be so cruel. They probably see something in you that they themselves don't want to deal with in their own life. Bullies aren't just in high school - they pop up everywhere. My heart goes out to you as I can feel your pain come right off the page. I'm glad you have a T that seems to work with you. Try to stay on the high road and don't stoop to these idiots level. At least you will feel better about yourself and maybe they will leave you alone if they don't get a reaction from you.

I have suspected in recent months that I have complex PTSD, and it is strikingly odd how similar my situation is to OP. I have multiple traumas from my past, but most recently, a job I was at scapegoated against me and edged me out of the company. It was a very cruel situation to be in...especially because the place was also my home too (I was a live-in counselor for a group home). Very screwed up stuff that has had a lasting effect on me. They discriminated against me too for being a feminist and for not being as orthodox as they were about their psychological theories (which none of them have accredited credentials in anyway). People are so cruel sometimes.

So, I know what you're going through. It makes me so angry to know that this stuff happens at the frequency it does in the world, and how undetected it goes because people don't know how to talk about it. You helped me a lot just by posting about it! I am starting with a new therapist next week and hope I can untangle some of these webs. You have my best wishes and fullest support.