[Pikku Myy]

Computer died... upset about this... decide to run to the local pc store for support and notice someone has stolen the metal gates from our back pasture!!! Had to deal with sheriff and neighbors... so about 5 months ago, while riding my horse on the same property... two thugs came out of the house and tried to run me over.... about three or so years ago.. when my pstd really started.... a neighbor who eneded up on drugs... broke into our house and threathened to kill me, my husband , daughter and all my animals... that's when I snapped.... and I am feeling very close to getting to the compulsive syndrome of locking and relocking everything..... I have other issues, but this I believe was the "trigger"..... and I don't ever want to go back But worried again.....

[roads]

How awful! Thugs came out of your house? What a history! Who wouldn't snap? Do you mean you don't want to go back tonight?

I'm so sorry. Do you have anyone with you now?

[Open Eyes]

(((Karol)))),
You have had a bad fright there, I can't blame you for being a bit hypervigillant.
Do you have access to a therapist you can meet with to help you get back on track?
Do you have any close friends you can talk to from time to time, and do you have any family near where you are?

I am just thinking about what support system you might have, people you can call when you start feeling alone and frightened.

As hard as it may seem try very hard to keep yourself from running past fears through your mind. It is common for people with PTSD to get in the habit of rethinking past events searching for answers. Your never going to have all the answers, so try to live in the present as much as you can. I know that can be a challenge as I have PTSD as well and can catch myself running the past through my mind and trying to figure out how this PTSD happened.

You can always come to PC and vent, we will always listen and at least give you understanding hugs.

Open Eyes

[JLarissaDragon]

I am so sorry all of this happened to you. When we have been violated in any way it is hared to avoid being hypervigilent. I was threatened once with a gun and I can still see it pointed at me sometimes. I really hope that you can find the support you need here at pc. I find a lot of compassionate people here who care for others

Hugs

[Pikku Myy]

Bit better today but all it takes is a combination of little triggers.... and start locking all the doors and windows... Hugs!!!!

[Pikku Myy]

I am beginning to go into the shell... panic modes... uncontrollable shaking,,, and such. People/clients who know me are noticing this.... Any suggestions? Xanax only helps so much... unless you want to sleep all day?

[Open Eyes]

Hi Karol... I read somewhere that there is a drug that is like a benzo and it doesn't have side effects. The name of it is ganaxolone. Maybe you could ask your pharmacist about it. I haven't looked into it myself but I am due to speak with the Nurse practioner that writes my perscription for Klonopin, which is like zanex but is longer lasting. You could try Klonopin in a very low dose. I can totally relate to going into a shell, panic like attacks that are lengthy and the shaking, I deal with that too and often it seems to come from nowhere. It can be hard when the colder weather comes I find myself asking my husband if he lowered the heat or not. I don't know about you but it feels like I am cold, but it is actually nerves.

Are you seeing a therapist to help you?

I use heat a lot to help relax me. I have a space heater at my feet while I am typing this because it does help with the shakes. At night I take a clonopin to help me sleep but I still can wake in the middle of the night with the shakes. I keep a heating pad on my at night, but I hate the fact that it has an auto shut off, when it is warm I just keep it on my chest and it helps keep my stress level down. Also before I go to sleep, after I have taken the Klonopin and can feel it relaxing me, I have a hair dryer that I blow on my arms and legs in into the covers and wow that really helps me relax the chills.

If you can fit in some kind of exercise as well, that can help too, anything the presents a warming and then cooling down effect in the body can reduce the shakes from nerves.

The other thing I do that can be helpful is I come to PC and read and post to different members. I also like to read some of the threads that present articles on any new research of other areas of therapy etc. When I first came to PC I found myself posting long posts. I still have a tendency to do that. But, if you were to go to a real trama center to be treated, one thing they do is present things that work your frontal part to the brain. That really helps the brain focus in a step by step process and improve brain function that is often disturbed by trama. And I have used PC a lot to busy my brain as that does often help to reduce my stress levels.

Try very hard not to allow yourself to race thoughts through your brain and feed into it. It isn't always easy but it gets easier with practice.

I hope I have given you some food for thought.

Please, if your not already, make sure that you find a good therapist that knows how to help patients with PTSD. It takes time but it does help.

((((((Hugs))))))
Open Eyes