April 27th, 2011

Hi all. I don't believe that I have PTSD, but, I thought I would post here just to offer support, and also to talk a little bit about weather anxiety.

I'm from Tuscaloosa, and I live about 1/4 mile away from the path of destruction that the tornado left in April (I can see ruins of buildings and treeless land from my front porch), and now, everytime there is any kind of weather advisory or even the threat of strong weather, I think the city itself seizes up a bit with worry. Ive never experienced anything like that in my life, and Im very lucky to have lived through it.

In 1998, I was in Nashville, TN when the tornado hit the downtown area, and we narrowly escaped death (in a charter bus full of fellow 7th graders) that day. I think I need to get out of the southern US! lol

Anyone else here from Tuscaloosa, Alabama, or Joplin, Missouri or Phil Campbell, Alabama or Hackleburg, Alabama or any other areas that were heavily hit back in April?

I can't say that I was but I know all about that fear. It seems like something follows me... I know it's corny but if you read the twilight saga, the girl Bella in there who seems to be followed by danger, that's me. I've had more near death experiences than I could count. And I mean I was in deaths grip but somehow got free. Natural disasters, being chased by packs of dogs (on more than one occassion) a few near fatal car accidents, I came about 4 inches from being slammed into by a freight train... The list continues... It's so scary and going on with your life and setting that fear asside is so hard. I'm working on that now.

Last year in August I was in the hospital following a accident where my little 2 door hatchback was totalled and flipped a ford explorer about 4 times. It was a miracle anyone survived but we all did. I was alright at first... Afraid to drive but I would force myself to if I needed to. Then exactly a year after the hospital from the accident I was in the hospital again for a seizure. A grand mal seizure where everyone thought that I had died durring it. Never had a seizure before. That seizure put more fear in me than anything else. Imagine living in fear of your own brain!

So I stopped driving all together (they suspended my license anyways for the seizure for 3 years). I stopped going anywhere. I stopped leaving the house I would have anxiety attacks any time I was in the car for longer than 15 minutes. I didn't go outside. I didn't get out of bed half the time for fear that my mind would spark again and I would have another seizure.

It stinks living in this fear. It stinks when you've "escaped death" and it feels like it still lurkes behind. My advice would be to just remind yourself, it's over. You are safe now. You are healthy. You are going to be OK. You made it through. Keep telling yourself that you are OK now, that things are OK and that you are no longer in danger. It's too easy for those feelings to creep back in and you feel just as afraid as you did the day it happened. That fear can take over your entire life and can make you lose your life, don't let it. Just remember, it's over now and you're ok. Lesson learned, whatever lesson that may be. You're alright now and things will get better.

I was hit by the Joplin tornado on May 22nd.. Currently living in the FEMA trailers they brought in a month or so afterwards.. I lived in the Redwood Apartments located right behind Wal-Mart..
My best friend since grade school's house was destroyed. As well as my dad's house, and my grandma's. Luckily my sister was visiting a friend in a town nearby with the only vehicle my family had..so we had a way to get everything to a family member's place before all of the looter's came through.. What type of person would steal from someone who is already suffering enough?
For a long time, the slightest wind would make me drop whatever I was doing and watch The Weather Channel until it stopped. I kept telling myself I was fine, what's done is done, it isn't bothering me. Lately..I'm wondering if it is. I can't tell if it's still bothering me or not...if that makes sense?