[patricia72]

I was so young an niieve when my trauma(s) happened. Looking back there was really not much I could have changed.
Has anyone seen the movie "Never without my daughter" starring Sally Field?
I lived through worse in Portugal and it took me over just over a year to escape. I was locked up in a small room for months.... beaten, raped, strangled, etc.
I refused to eat and survived on water. I remember reaching a point one day, I heard my daughter through the door (she had been taken away from me) and to this day I don't know how I did it.... I was sooo weak but I guess adrenalin can be powerful... the door was locked by the outside with a big piece of wood...which I didn't even know at the time.... but I started kicking the door and managed to break the door down. The light blinded me and I didn't even see him coming.... I was sure he was going to kill me.... he beat me so hard I lost consciousness. I remember when I woke up he carried me out of the room and washed me... I remember seeing myself in the mirror..... I didn't recognise my own face. It was sooo swollen and bruised.... I will never get rid of the flashbacks of that image I saw. He didn't take me to see a doctor so I discovered only when I was back in Canada that there was permenant dammage to my left ear, it could have been treated immediately, but by the time I got back it was too late. I am almost completely deaf in my left ear which is a constant reminder of what happened to me. Every time it feels more like it was just a dream I have something to remind me that it really happened.
I could go on for a long time..... I think I would like to communicate with someone who has been held hostage or experienced anything similar to what I have just shared.
Patricia