[lostgman]

I'm not Superman. Kinda disappointed...I mean I got the blue and red tights...cape...big S and everything. Glad I figured it out before I went out and tested that whole faster than a speeding bullet....more powerful than a locomotive thing. I still might be able to leap tall buildings in a single bound though....at least I can test that theory without killing myself. Nope can't leap tall buildings....but I can at least clear the dog house. Guess I'll have to be good with that.

In that triggers thread...did I mention feeling overwhelmed? It amazes me how fast you can go from "I got this".....to overwhelmed....faster than a speeding bullet....like Superptsd. Yeaaaah I still hate ptsd.

I've got this bottle of Crown Royal cask 16 that I've been holding on to....just waiting for the day I can sit back and enjoy it. When I start feeling like this...it starts calling my name. I'm not sure how much longer I can ignore it. Maybe I should just call it a night and hope for a better day tomorrow.

[Open Eyes]

((gman))),
No man is really "superman" you have a lot going on, you cannot just "fix". Your task for now is to allow things to unfold, take it one day at a time, let go of thinking all the burden is on "your shoulders" and look to those who are the professionals that you can "lean on".

Being superman is also about being able to slow down, let things unfold, don't just assume the worst either. The tools that you will be gathering now are "people who have professional skills" that you can question and can give you things you "can" do.

You wife is not well, you have to leave the "fixing" of that for the doctors. In the meantime what you "can" do that will help her, is spend time with the children, make sure they have access to someone they can "talk" to, allow yourself to listen, be honest with them in that mom is not well and the doctors are helping her and that everyone has to tell her they love her, help to pick up the house, see if laundry needs to be done and pick up whatever is laying around the house and put it away.

Remember, children also do not know what to do when "mom is not well" and they get frightened too. It is ok for "superman" to give them hugs, plan on some "togetherness" so the children know you are "there for them" too. You can also suggest that each child make their own card, try to pick something they love about their mom and draw it or say it too. Then they can give her the cards so she can know they love her and she is "special".

You can also have a table meeting with the children too. Ask them to think about what "mom" likes done in the house and let them all pick something "they" can do to help with that. Even a young girl can help with the laundry. If she doesn't know exactly how and you do, then take her around, pick up some of the dirty clothes, separate the colors and let her do some laundry. And that will give her "something" that "she" can do.

Mom is going to need to have an operation, so she will also need to convelese too, right? Well, again while none of you can "fix" mom, you can teach them and learn yourself about how to "handle this situation". Handling is not the same as fixing, it is more about listening to the doctors, knowing mom is going to need help and some "positives" too and making a family plan for that. Also it is important to have times of "you and the children to sit and talk about how each of you might be worried or even afraid". You can show them that it is "ok" to be concerned and that you are too, and it is "ok" to talk about it and even pray together too.

Another thing all of you can do is plan the meals as well. Find out what "mom" can eat and teach the children how to prepare it. The diet is very simple and mom will need water, fresh water, that the children can change and check for her.

It is important that the children can talk and also learn to take things one day at a time too.

You already can "do" alot more than you realize. Keep in your mind, it is not about fixing anything but just about handling things as they come along one day at a time. So far you are actually doing well so far about "handling" things because you come here, you choose to vent and talk instead of holding it all in. That is very good, that is apart of "handling" that we all need to utilize. That is what our children need to, vent talk and share. Anything that comes up that you may not have an immediate answer for, it is always ok to say "I don't know right now, I will think about it and we can talk again". In doing that you also teach children that they can "think about things" and don't really have to have an immediate answer.

Remember, we are here for you, we are your "support group".


One day at a time.

(((Hugs)))
Open Eyes

[avlady]

Originally Posted by lostgman

I'm not Superman. Kinda disappointed...I mean I got the blue and red tights...cape...big S and everything. Glad I figured it out before I went out and tested that whole faster than a speeding bullet....more powerful than a locomotive thing. I still might be able to leap tall buildings in a single bound though....at least I can test that theory without killing myself. Nope can't leap tall buildings....but I can at least clear the dog house. Guess I'll have to be good with that.

In that triggers thread...did I mention feeling overwhelmed? It amazes me how fast you can go from "I got this".....to overwhelmed....faster than a speeding bullet....like Superptsd. Yeaaaah I still hate ptsd.

I've got this bottle of Crown Royal cask 16 that I've been holding on to....just waiting for the day I can sit back and enjoy it. When I start feeling like this...it starts calling my name. I'm not sure how much longer I can ignore it. Maybe I should just call it a night and hope for a better day tomorrow.

look for a better day tomarrow

[lostgman]

Talked to the kids they understand. They do their chores...they just need to remember to settle down and stop fighting with each other for a little while.

Sorry to say the bottle won that battle.

Still hoping for a better day tomorrow.