[Alishia88]

I have tried so hard not to. But I just always get caught up in it.
The way someone treats me or acts towards me, how he sees me
and reacts to me, I assume that is me.
This is why it´s extremely difficult for me to even interact at all with other people. At least with people that don´t really know me well. And I don´t have many that truely know me.
It´s difficult to take a stand. I never know how to act.
I really don´t know what it´s like to be myself. Or if I do know, I cannot be her in social interactions, because she´s so small and insecure, I just cannot present myself like that.
I wish I had a strong core on the inside that allowed me to change a little
to be fitting to the situation, but generally always know and feel who I am on the inside.

[Open Eyes]

Alisha, have you told your therapist this? You are still seeing a therapist right?

[Alishia88]

yes of course. I´m not sure I´ve told it exactly like that. I have mentioned though that I never quite feel authentic with other people. Except with my boyfriend.
Well there are so many things I´d need to talk about, I guess, it´s just that an hour a week covers only a fraction of the things that are going on inside of me. And as I told before, my therapist talks too a lot. So... yea there´s just too much stuff.