[aidan1970]

I always joke with my therapist that I have a problem with the concept of object permanence. Like a toddler who thinks her toy is gone if covered by a blanket, I feel people disappear-or somehow fail to exist when I am not with them. I feel detached and very isolated and maybe even a little scared. Intellectually I know this isn't the case-but it still feels like I am nolonger connected to them. It probably sounds ridiculous, but it is problematic-especially when I also start feeling "unreal" or that I seem to disappear. My therapist said that it was related to depersonalization and derealization. Has anyone else had these issues. My therapist also said that it a relatively mild form of dissociation-which is good because I no longer lose time or anything-as I did for many, many years.
I am mostly interested in hearing from others who have experienced these things related to early trauma as opposed to a separate, free standing diagnosis.

[jadedbutterfly]

I have had times when this happens. If I haven't had contact, in person, via phone etc. with someone .. they start to disappear....it is like an unconscious emotional protection
One therapist told me it's like I have a leaky bucket, and the longer I don't have contact with a person.. the more liquid has leaked out, until it's like empty. but any contact with said person will add liquid into the bucket again.
Did that make any sense???

[aidan1970]

Thank you, that is such a perfect way of describing it. Did you therapist happen to say why this happens?

Originally Posted by jadedbutterfly

I have had times when this happens. If I haven't had contact, in person, via phone etc. with someone .. they start to disappear....it is like an unconscious emotional protection
One therapist told me it's like I have a leaky bucket, and the longer I don't have contact with a person.. the more liquid has leaked out, until it's like empty. but any contact with said person will add liquid into the bucket again.
Did that make any sense???

[jadedbutterfly]

Originally Posted by aidan1970

Thank you, that is such a perfect way of describing it. Did you therapist happen to say why this happens?

Just that it is another unconscious defensive mechanism that your brain does

[ThisWayOut]

I get that too, though mostly I feel like I am "out of sight out of mind" to others... I feel as if I disappear the longer they don't hear from me, not only to them, but also my own sense of connection with them... It's almost as if I'm disintegrating in reality if I'm not in constant contact with specific people...

[echoesofagirl]

Yep, I get this too from derealization. I start to feel uncertain if I imagined the person/interaction, like maybe they were a character in a book, or I dreamed of the interaction. Facebook and electronic communication has helped me with this a lot. I can see text transcripts, profile pages, etc. "proving" they're real, etc. I've never been given an explanation of why this happens, but the answers provided above sound right.