was told to "just get over it"!!

I was raped on my 16th birthday 12years ago. I didn't report it and continued to date the guy for a while. For years afterward he would call and show up places. After 10 years it stopped. I was going to therapy. I quite when my therapist said I needed to just get over it. Now I find when I'm having a really hard day. I hear her saying just get over it and i feel worse. Has anyone ever had this happen?

Time to find a new Therapist. Oh hell no would I stay with a Therapist who said "Get over it."

I think that's awful. I would find a new T.

(((SarahBell))),

Sadly there are some "crappy" therapists out there. I agree with the other posters the this therapist was wrong to say that to you and you need to find a better therapist that can help you work through this.

I have had people sat that to me too and I do admit that when I have a bad day I also remember people giving me that stern advice and being "dismissive". The truth is that people tend to have that response and simply don't realize that you need to talk about it and need to be validated and heard and comforted.

((Hugs)))
OE

I would absolutely find a new T (I can almost sniff the bad smell of that t from here. Grrrrrrrrrr)

If a therapist or other mental health professional said that to me I think I'd likely end up in the psych ward for smashing everything in the office. Not saying that is the right reaction but its likely what would happen.

Reading comprehension seems to be a problem here on PC. I believe SarahBell made a simple typo and was saying she quit when her therapist said that.

I am sorry your T was not helpful. In fact she was downright rude.

I was told by foster parents to "just get over it," "forget about it," etc. all the time as a teen. It is hurtful, invalidating, and shaming. I'm sorry someone who was suppose to be helping you said that to you I think your reaction is normal.

I haven't had a therapist say that to me, but a boss of mine told me, the day after I was raped, "Just dont think about it."

That's a horrible thing to say. It completely invalidates your experience and your worth as a human being. I mean, if you had a scraped knee, do people say Just get over it? No, it's only for the huge, traumatic, unforgettable, life-shattering experiences. Actually, I think what they mean is to let *them* forget about it. I would get rid of anybody who says that.

That is a dangerous "therapist"...no well-trained, ethical therapist would ever say that. Now you have more pain to proecss. Yes, please find another therapist. Hugs, Nicole

P.S. There are some things we never "get over" but find a way to live with them/it.

Hi Sarah Bell,

Certain therapists really should not be allowed to work. But good for you for quitting!

I used to see somebody who took a similar stance towards my pain. Even after I left her, her words stayed with me for a while. Eventually it didn't hurt so much anymore.

The most important step is to leave these people. It validates your worth as a person, your right to be treated with respect. And since you've done that, I think you're on the right track. Hopefully you can find someone better to talk to (even here at PC if you like).

All the best!

I have definately been told to just get over it by ignorant, stupid people. Never my T. I would never stay with a therapist that said that. It shows a total lack of understanding. There is no way to just get over it. It takes time and work on our part to reorient our thinking and brains to accept and learn to dessensitize to the experience. Be gentle with yourself and do try to find a new T.