[Jen31]

This will probably be my last time posting this on this forum if there aren't any responses. My therapist encouraged me to talk to other people who experience this with there ptsd so that's all I'm trying to do. I just wanna see if anyone here experiences time loss type dissociation with their ptsd. If so has anyone ever filled you in on how you look during this time? Just trying to hear how dissociation is for other people.

[Jen31]

I just don't know about this forum lol

[sweepy62]

I do dissociate I think it's wired it's like being stuck in a moving time travel I donut therapy sometimes I have a history of past childhood trauma and it worries me but i m dealing with flashbacks right now and nightmares it doesn't happen alot but it happend

[Rand.]

Hi Jen31, sorry you didn't get responses before
I'm not sure how "qualified" I am to answer this question as I have not been diagnosed with PTSD or Dissociation. So this will just be coming from someone who just "strongly relates to the symptoms of them".
I can sometimes lose time. My therapist asked me on Thursday what I did the day before and I realized I had zero memories of the entire day. I don't usually realize lost time until someone asks me. Otherwise it's very patchy time. But usually I have a "friend" who takes over. During the lost time episodes, I can only assume he's what takes over because no one ever says anything about changed behaviour. When I am semi-aware, I feel like I'm looking through a pinhole at his thoughts, emotions, beliefs, actions etc. When I get in this state (which is almost always especially when dealing with people so that is who people know usually), he's described as sweet, kind, had a nickname "smiley" for a while, people saw him as a feeler. I have been told I seem to be in kind of a dreamy state a lot, kind of spacey. I found this out after I asked the meaning of the gag trophy I received labeled "Dreamer". What I do see of him, he seems 2 dimensional and shallow... like a throw in character in a badly written story. Time for me is usually warped. Memories for me are either gone or very patchy and look plastic and shadowy and no longer are real to me.
Does this kind of answer your question? >o<

[Jen31]

Thanks for replying. Yes I just wanna heAr other people's experiences with dissociation/time loss. How long does these lost time episodes normally last for you?

[sweepy62]

As for me each episode may ld seconds to minutes but feel like hours at other times I forget chunks of a day it's pretty scary my friends fill me in

[Rand.]

Originally Posted by Jen31

Thanks for replying. Yes I just wanna heAr other people's experiences with dissociation/time loss. How long does these lost time episodes normally last for you?

Well, so far roughly 8 hours has been the longest I can say for sure. I can't say how long they usually last because I'm often not even aware of the lost time I have, or it's so shrouded in confusing, surreal patches that I can't say for sure. The most common thing for me personally is... how do I explain this... it's almost as though a part of me goes into another time dimension while the other part stays in a timeless dimension. So in one way the time goes by and hours will feel like several days even, but yet it will also feel like no time at all and usually all I will remember are plastic, shady (they actually LOOK dark kind of pin-hole at dusk) patches of what happened that just aren't real - if anything - sometimes only one or two still images. I can sort of distinguish that they really happened but they feel so unreal it can send my mind into a spiral of confusion and ambivalence. So really, everything can seem so confusing for me as far as being able to remember things clearly, that it's just chaotic... because it is like this 24/7. It makes it very hard to know when I actually lose time and for how long it is and how long it takes for the time to be lost... well, that's how it works for me with a few exceptions where there is a very large, clear hole in my memory, or when people insist that they said something or that something happened that I have no memory of whatsoever. Ahhh it's just a big mess lol. I have no idea if any of that made any sense whatsoever.

[Jen31]

Wow that's intense. For me I had no idea that it happened till afterwards, but I still don't know for how long.

[Jen31]

Sweepy do you forget the hours of the day after the fact or is it from a dissociative episode to where you just snap out of it and don't know what happened, almost like a blackout.

[sweepy62]

Jen sometimes I forget the hour and the day and sometimes it's like a blackout

[HealingNSuffering]

Originally Posted by Jen31

This will probably be my last time posting this on this forum if there aren't any responses. My therapist encouraged me to talk to other people who experience this with there ptsd so that's all I'm trying to do. I just wanna see if anyone here experiences time loss type dissociation with their ptsd. If so has anyone ever filled you in on how you look during this time? Just trying to hear how dissociation is for other people.

Yes it happens to me all the time. In my opinion its a defense mechanism to cope with the anxiety. I think its because if I have something to do keeping track of time gives me the shakes. A few times while I was re-experiencing I could actually see myself sitting there crying. It also comes along with all kinds of negative thoughts about myself and excessive shame. Nobody has ever told me how I look during this time but I'd imagine it looks something like I'm day dreaming and emotionally flat. In my opinion its better than experiencing the inner pain.

Originally Posted by Jen31

Thanks for replying. Yes I just wanna heAr other people's experiences with dissociation/time loss. How long does these lost time episodes normally last for you?

It depends, I've lost years if the trauma was bad enough. After I almost lost my life for example, all I can remember doing is sitting around. As time goes on, that which your mind has buried comes to the surface. Its best to write it down and work on these events with your Therapist. Our memories are locked away but they still exist, keeping a daily journal has helped immensely. The journal is a great place to vent my frustrations and document my memories and stress triggers.

[Jen31]

A journal sounds like a good idea. My therapist has actually recommended that as well. Alot of people actually so say that it's like a flat effect no emotion and slow speaking. Also some people say that you stare or don't speak at all. So I guess it varies. I wanna know what I look like lol. Sweepy what do you look like?

[tinyrabbit]

I have to get offline but will reply properly tomorrow... I'm sorry you've been disheartened in the past

[Aiuto]

I have had dissociating with PTSD. If you are familiar with Super Mario Brother's game. They have a warp zone where you get warped to another time in slow motion. I feel like I was warped for 2 years now really not knowing who I was or what I looked like either.You are not alone

[Nammu]

I used to be highly dissociative but I have learned ways to cope without dissociating. For me I never "felt" the experience of dissociating, time passed w/o my awareness of it. It was hard to reconcile that it was a different time, different place and sometimes different day than I last remembered. It is as if I went to sleep at point A and woke up at point B, like a blackout.

Sometimes it takes a while for people to find the threads posted before you can get a response, don't give up. This is a great forum to get support & find out you are not alone. When I first came here I mostly read the newsletters, it took a while to share stuff and I visit mostly the depression and general forums now that I've gotten a better handle on the PTSD.

[Jen31]

Aiuto and Sidestepper has anyone ever told you what you looked like while you were experiencing a time loss episode?

[tinyrabbit]

I don't really lose time but I do space out a bit and wonder why the time went so fast.

[avlady]

Jen31 Welcome!!!I had an experience a few years ago where i was sleeping on the couch, or I thought I was asleep, but when I woke up I couldn't remember if I was sleeping or if I was awake and was doing anything. It was one of the scariest things that I ever experienced, It was like total blackout. I do have psychotic dreams, and am on sleep apnea care now. It really helps.

[tiggerandcrew]

Sweepy, I dissociate and loose time. I also have dissociative Identity dissorder though and it is when an alter comes out that I loose time.I am now working on coconsciousness with them so I know what I am doing and I don't let them dissociate except at certain times. Recently though I have dissociated several times when evidently faced with something I didn't want to remember. It is just gone and not with any internal part. This probably doesn't make sense to you but will try to explain more or better if you like. Sorry no one responded the first time.

[skeksi]

Over the course of my treatment, I've found that I have different "varieties" of dissociation. Sometimes I just feel detached from everything, and sometimes I am completely detached. My T says my eyes get unfocused and I don't respond right away to his voice or movement in my field of vision. I have memory trouble whenever I dissociate.

I've gotten much better at doing things that will pull me out of dissociation rather than keep me entrenched. It's still a huge part of my life but I'm getting a little less ashamed of it.

[Aiuto]

Originally Posted by Jen31

Aiuto and Sidestepper has anyone ever told you what you looked like while you were experiencing a time loss episode?

I did have people tell me that my hair was so long, I had lost weight etc.I look at pictures from the past 2years and I say I do not know who that girl is in the picture.

[Jen31]

Thank you everyone. I worry about how I am in this state because I have small children. I worry if I could leave them alone or if something bad could happen to me. I feel better knowing what other people look like so maybe I can get an idea of how I am. I know everyone's experiences are different but it still helps.