[Kracn99]

I was surprised to find that the line on my sanity score was red for PTSD.
I was more surprised to see that it was my highest score.
And even more so that it was a "100."
I dont understand. I have nothing to have had PTSD over. But I also know that it makes alot of sense. I also know that im in a state of denial. Im afraid. Im sick. I want to run away from my aching insides but i CANT.
I feel thoughts pushing at me but i cant acknowledge them.
I know im messed up.
Ive KNOWN im messed up. Defective. I dont want to feel this way anymore. I wish I could rip out myinsides, just so i could stop feeling them anymore. I hate that I know that I have to face this, that there is no escape, no running away...
I don't know what to do.
The silence is so loud.

[HealingNSuffering]

Don't give too much credence to the Sanity Score Kranc99. Only a mental health professional can diagnose you with a mental health disorder. I think we all go through that denial phase of PTSD, where we don't feel like anything is wrong with us. Then once you break out of your "shell" or "the wall" as some people call it you feel the symptoms 100% and life gets really hard for awhile. Are you in therapy? That would be a good place to start. If it makes you feel any better my score fluctuates between 149 and 162 depending on how I am doing. It also says I might be a schizophrenic even though I've never had any real hallucinations that weren't drug induced.

Welcome to PC!

[kaliope]

from what I remember of the sanity scores, a score of 100 is someone who is functioning fairly well in the grand scheme of things. may need a little help with some coping skills but the sanity score spectrum goes up to 300 I think so I wouldn't be worrying until I hit the 200's or so.

[Kracn99]

I meant I scored a 100% on the PTSD... i got a 195 over all. But thank you both for the advice, I made an appointment with a therapist for the first time in a long time.