[confused43]

hi im not sure whats going on but....
i was sitting in the library and all of a sudden i hear this voice saying dont kill the baby. i heard it last night to. then i saw a baby on an alter and then i dont remember anything. when i came back though i was still sitting in the library and i was sore between my legs. so i went to the bathroom and i was all red . i went to go do something else. then i cam back to my dorm to change into my pjs and in the stall i just wanted to go take a shower and curl up . what the heck is goin on. is this some strange flashback or in my hilusinating. MY therapist dx me DID/ ptsd can someone help me please. things keep getting worse.

[(JD)]

That is not a good thought, is it... I'm sorry you experienced this. Surely it sounds like you dissociated, but would be more of a flashback, if you had been in this situation sometime prior in your life. How long ago did your T dx you? Not all ppl with DID also suffer from PTSD

You might be going too fast in therapy. Be sure to talk to the T about this occurrence...and ask about slowing down in sessions. Sometimes slower is faster because it won't cause the horrible flashbacks etc. (Meaning, don't cover so much material, memories etc in therapy sessions, limit how much you talk about.)

TC

[confused43]

Hi
well i have had another flashback again . On thursday in the library. i was reading and the night before i kept hearing dont kill the baby. while in the library i started havng flash back of a baby on an alter then i lost like 15 min of time then i came back and i was sore between my legs. i went to the bathroom wen and packed my stuff up. then i left and went to practice the violin which i did not do to well with. then i went to the dorm and changed in the stall. i wanted to go take a shower and curl up on the floor. i was so so so cold inside. i have no clue what sgoing on. but i want it to stop.

[(JD)]

Sounds to me like you might be experiencing "body memories." Do what you need to for self care, and self comforting. One thing, at least you are remembering that you are flashing back, and what it is. Does it always happen in the library? Only in the library? Please call you T is you don't have an appointment soon (this week.) Make sure you tell T about this, and that you need ways to limit them. TC

I was going to ask the same thing if it happens only at the library wwhen you are sitting there and doing your work there. if so then maybe just doing q quick stop in at the library to pick up your books and leave and do your studying at home or at a friends would be better, at least until you can find out what it is about the library that is triggering you like this. pretty much all USA librarys have computers and websites so you can access the librarys website from any computer at home or at your school- college, or local public place that also has computers for customer use, and also local Department of Human services agencys also have free computer access that their clients can use.

You can access your librarys website and place a request or hold for the books you want and then they either notify you by email or by you logging into t he library webiste into your library account when the books are ready for you to pick up. Then all you have to do is go to the pick up area and grab your books and out the door you are with in 0-5 minutes.

Also since this keeps happening you might want to talk to your therapist about it. She may have ways to handle and or stop these flashbacks.

[confused43]

It happens at different places. I have had it happen at home. In the doctors office any place. anyways i live at college so i dont really have a home and i have to study in the library beacuse it is the quietest place i can find. I do plan on telling my Therapist though.
thank you

You're welcome. have you tried taking something calming with you. I have flashbacks no matter where I am too and my walkman with relaxing music and a relaxation visualization tape that LL (my therapist) and I made during sessions really helps me to stay grounded and write out what I am seeing hearing and so on.