[Evangelista]

Our family did not have doctor or dental treatment growing up, after my dad went to Prison, and was discharged from the Air Force when I was about 5-6, do remember getting hurt due to abuse issue, and fainting when I was anorexic as a teen, but was never treated, always just taken to the bedroom and left I guess mostly.

Started getting medical/dental treatment after I married, first dental appt was when I was 21, remember dentist telling me after the exam I was going to put his kids thru college. Medical exams are always a very stressful encounter for me, but dental exams are the absolute worst..from the moment they walk in and ask you to open your mouth, I feel dazed and confused, hyperalert yet floaty, muscle burns everywhere, especially in the upper body, then numbness, and shakes.

So now..hmmmm..sorry…going to sound stupid..but takes an act of congress to get me to keep a dental appt usually end up canceling the first year, over and over and over again, kinda the same way with Gyn appts…

Several years ago, I went to a Military Dental Clinic in the Hospital I worked in, and the treating Dentist was a retired Admiral they had called into service to the clinic that week because they were short personnel due to deployment issues..well…he was ill..had what I can only assume was a psychotic break of some kind during my exam..I had a tooth that was hurting, and had made an appt at the clinic, and I got the luck of the draw with this wounded professional.

From the time I sat in the chair, I could tell he was not in a good place, he acted very mad, throwing his instruments on the tray next to me, when he started the exam, my gums would not stop bleeding around the tooth he was looking at…and he started to yell and cuss at me..the dental tech..was a young airman..started backing up against the wall then as I watched helplessly, the tech slid out of the room, all the time with his back to the wall..and I could only sit in the chair as this man went into what I can only describe as a PTSD event..I thought the tech would come back with someone to stop this man from hurting me…but no one came..at least not while I was there..the whole event maybe lasted 20 minutes..with the dentist throwing sharp instruments onto my chest, made some cuts where they hit me, some went crashing to the floor, my lip was numb where he jammed a needle of novacaine thru my lower lip instead of inside my mouth because his hands were shaking..finally..finally..he stopped..leaned backed off of me..and told me he couldn’t help me..told me to leave..but before he took the instruments out of my mouth…all the stuff he had cleaned out of the infected tooth…he said “here before you go you can have this back”…he jammed all the debris back into the infected tooth with the instruments he had been throwing around..yes all the plaque and infected tissue he had removed and stuck on a piece of napkin on the tray..he slowly picked up with the dental tool, and stuck it right back into the gum and tooth area..then told me to get out……….arrghhhh…..I ran out of the clinic…never went back…didn’t talk to anyone..didnt know what to say…upset the damn dental tech didn’t come to help me with this obviously psychotic dentist..I really believe it was the blood that set this off, because he became so out of control when he couldnt get my gums to stop bleeding...

Anyway…I did not go to a dentist again for about 3 months afterwards. only went because the tooth that was infected was hurting 10 times worse…the infection had spread into my jaw and had now eaten away part of the underlying bone, that is what the dental surgeon told me after he did x-rays…I was now having fevers, and was becoming very ill..I explained to the surgeon what happened after he asked why I had let it get this bad, and he did not know how I could have put up with all the pain that this infection had caused..well fear will make you do allot of strange stuff that you know in your right mind you wouldn’t do..I ended up requiring a bone graft to my jaw to assist with the repair where the infection had eaten away bone…

Where am I going with this…well I broke a tooth last Feb..I went to see a dentist, he put a sedative temp filling in, told me to come back in 6 weeks to get it repaired…took all I could just to sit thru that appt..well I never went back..still have the badly cracked tooth, the temp filling fell out a long time ago, and the tooth has been hurting on and off. I make the appt…cancel it..make the appt..cancel it…make the appt…cancel it…my fear is so bad I have been looking on the Internet to see how maybe I can pull it myself…know at this point that I am not thinking rationally about this…but my fear is just soooo bad…

I have visited dentists in the past and had teeth pulled (2), I will not allow them to work on them, I tell them to pull them, that’s it…end of discussion..everytime these encounters are about as stressful as if I am being tortured…and it takes me a year or two of suffering before I go in...

Last night it was hurting so bad..I started to think about getting a knife and cutting it out myself..I am sorry I know this is bad..its stupid..its not logical..to be so scared of something that you are willing to…I have canceled two appts with the dentist within the last 3 weeks..have another one scheduled on Oct 10th....I just need to make it to the appt..once I am there I can endure it…tell him to pull it…but…its just making it into the office at this point…sorry for such a long post…I am going to the store shortly to grab something for the pain..and maybe some antibacterial mouthwash...this is soooo dumb...I know better...why cant I get over this fear...



Eva

(( Evangelista ))

I can't imagine you going through that. Truly horrific and frightening. I'm sorry and angry and sad that it happened to you.


It's NOT dumb. It's NOT stupid. It IS logical, in my mind. The guy was psycho. I don't blame you one bit for being traumatized. Should've been arrested. Dentists are terrifying to most abuse survivors...but that scenario is beyond my comprehension. How could you ever "get over" that?

They would've taken me/or him, out on a stretcher.

I hate the dentist too. I have an issue now with a cavity that was recently filled. After she took out the old one she said it was deeper than she had thought but that she believed she could fill it without a root canal. It hurts now, I can't chew on that side and I know I need to have a root canal. I know I can't live the rest of my life without having it fixed, but like you ora-gel is my fix until it will get so bad I will have no choice.

My husband says I should have nitrus oxide but I am afraid of that too. Afraid of not being in control. I am petrified of surgery because they would have to knock me out...I think I would die from fright. The minute anyone (other than hubby) comes near my face I freak. Same problem even getting my hair cut. When they say "put your head down" I freak.

((( I'm sorry that happened )))

[Evangelista]

(((Petunia)))

Oh I am so sorry for what you are going thru too...but thank you for sharing...because I feel so stupid...trying everything I can think of to avoid being in that chair with that person over me..

You right it is very much a control thing..I have the same issues with sedation, surgeries...and yes even medication...I have to be ready..ready for what I dont know..but just ready..ready..ready..ready..

But with the dentist and GYN..it is so yuck...I finally get so embarrased from cancelling appts, after I see them one time..after a year or two will try and see someone else...if they dont fix the problem, like pull the tooth, or want me to come back for further work up...its cancel cancel cancel...until I get ill or sick from whatever...like this dang tooth!!!..then again so embarrased from cancelling all the time, I move on to someone else in an acute state...its a very destructive repetative cyle of treatment..but I am soooo sorry...dont kow how to explain it to the doctors who only see a non-compliant patient...they dont understand...the desperation..the pain, and confusion...

Thanx Petunia...I picked up some antiseptic wash and will take a bunch of Ibuprofen...hope your toothache calms down too...

Eva

[(JD)]

I don't think it's stupid or dumb either... what a terrible thing to have happen. Please call around to find a dentist that can be understanding...or even an oral surgeon (they often have more money and time to put into quality personnel and facilities etc..training..) who knows how to calm ppl even before surgery.

I know they will schedule procedures in segments for you. I have TMD and can't have everything done at once but small bits of time.

Also, have them talk to you telling you what they are doing or about to ..in between the chit chat... having the assistant there to help YOU is good too. TC

Evangelista I have family in the military and can tell you what this guy did was wrong and never happens now in the military. dentists in the military have to follow the rule now of having a dental assistant in the room with them while they work and I suspect that this was the way it was supposed to have been back when t his happened to you.

You can contact the military and place an officail complaint agaist the dentist. All you will need is the place that it happened and a time frame. The military keeps strict records as to who is working where and on which base and so on. at the very least your complaint will go into this persons military record so that if he had done in the past or will do the same thing in the future something will be done to prevent the next person from going through that pain and could also result in that persons dishonorable discharge, court marshall and so on. so one way or another he will pay for what he did to you.

[eskielover]

Eva,

I can understand what you are going through. What you went through would definitely cause anyone to fear a dentist. I have a similar fear only I can't point to anything that has caused the fear. My teeth are so bad that they continually are breaking. The last dentist I went to 3 years ago told me I had 6 teeth that needed pulled & needed fillings in the rest because I hadn't gone to the dentist for years & years. Since that point, I have at least 3 more teeth that have broken to the point where they are broken down to the gum. The dentist I went to said that the roots of the broken teeth are crooked.

I have no money nor dental insurance so I cancelled the appointment. The dentist was going to just numb my mouth & pull 4 of the teeth. The thought of being awake listening to the teeth being pulled & probably having to be dug out just set off my anxiety attacks. I swore at the time I wouldn't have anything done unless they could knock me completely out. By this point, they might as well pull all of my teeth because the decay has spread to all of my remaining teeth. Having no money keeps me from doing anything at all at this time, but that is just a good excuse for me too. My fear is so bad I just can't get myself to even make an appointment.

I have been lucky in that there is no pain.....the only thing that I can think of that keeps the pain away is that I am on a huge amount of fentynal for my migraines. When you talked about your infections getting into your jaw, I am wondering what is keeping is from doing that with my problem.

I hope you can get to the point you can get the help you need.....maybe some day, I will get brave enough too.

Debbie

[Evangelista]

Thank you Sky, Myself, and Debbie, for sharing and being supportive as I battle trying to follow thru with my next appointment.

Hind site being what it is, I dont know why I just didnt kick him or slap him or something as he was doing this...just froze..my reactions are always so off when it comes to this kinda of stuff..then not to tell someone afterwards..I guess it really has allot to do with the childhood abuse issues..everything seems to revolve around force and secrets..and dont you dare tell..it will only make things worse..

I have thought about writing the military dental clinic and telling them what happened ((Myself)), it may help me gain some control over that episode at least, where I would feel heard after just enduring it in silence..

(((Debbie)))..I am sorry you have the issues with dentist too, and teeth problems...Dentists are very expensive..even with insurance they put a big hurt on someone financially..but the dentist who saw me after the incident..was able to tell real quick on xray the damage, and where the infection had spread into the lower jaw..the surgery was very hard to deal with...because I would not let them put me under or use IV sedation..he just kept giving me more and more local shots in the area to keep me numb while he worked on it..he told me he normally does the procedure in the OR..but..I think he knew if he pushed it I would probably just have dissappeared into the woodowork and ended up with more damage to my jaw, or worse..so he worked with me and my comfort zone..which is locals only..I can deal with the physical pain...its the other untangible horror of not being able to respond to what he is doing..which does not make any sense does it...when my repsonse is paralyzing fear anyway..geeze..this doesn't make sense...

I actually have considered having them all pulled and just getting false teeth...oh well..the trials and tribulations of my dental appoint saga continues...I wonder if I will actually keep this one..sorry about the length of the post but thank you for replying..

((Sky)) I was diagnosed with TMJD..(TemporalMandibilar Joint Disorder)..years ago...but kinda just deal with the pain and inflammation..and thank you for suggestion..

((((((((Evangelista)))))))

[JustAPixie]

(((((((((( evangelista )))))))))

My sister is a dentist, and I have been assisting her for a while until shee gets a permanent assistent. Your story id truly horrifying! We had a patient the other day who also had a phobia of the dentist, and we ended up removing his teeth under full sedation in the hospital... is that maybe an option for you?

I also find that female dentists are much more sensitive than male ones.... Most of the time the problem with toothache is infection, as long as you can drain the infection it shouldn't hurt all that much... but I don't know if that is your case?

If you pull your own tooth you can cause much more damage than you already have. The roots has to come out with the tootha nd sometimes they break off, or you can break off a piece of your own jaw etc.... I would not recommend that.

[(JD)]

OH! If you already have TMD, then don't even think of pulling your own tooth, nor have just any dentist do that either. You need a surgeon who knows how to not tear up the functioning of the jaw you do have, or the result could be worse than imaginable, imo!

I was thinking also that you could go to a surgeon with a dental assistant who does the small stuff for him/her...and be totally under during all the procedures. Why not?

[hillbunnyb]

Take a friend with you to appointments. I would love to have a way to hold dentists accountable. Everybody is so freaked out by being there, all they want to do is get out of there, no clear thinking. We stay away as long as we can..... viscious cycle.

dentists, don't get me started....... SORRY for ALL of us....... and dentures......??????? mideaval devices from hell. I am toothless and painfree for almost 2 years. Teeth are overrated. (I hit yard sales with a big gummy smile and a, "Hi there", and get great deals.) How often do you eat corn nuts, anyway?

[Evangelista]

Thank you everyone for the support..the Dentist's office just called to confirm tomorrows appt...I did not cancel it...the supportive words and sincere suggestions are helping me move forward with treatment, I even called and spoke with the Military Patient Advocate of the Dental clinic last week, and finally talked it over with someone, he was very caring and concerned and validating, not once did he question or assume it to be my fault somehow..which is always what I jump to first...He even gave me further suggestions on approaching this new DMD I will be seeing about the Trauma...so with all of this, while I feel very apprehensive, I can at least make it to the Appt..thanx again everyone..

((Petunia)) Hope your tooth is feeling better too!!!

Eva

You go girlfriend!

I will be thinking of you and will keep my petals crossed!

I still haven't called. The last two times I went I got infections at the site of the novacaine injection. (This is due to my chemo, I'm supposed to take extra care but I get lazy.)

Just not up for it.

But you are my hero for sticking with it.

[Evangelista]

((((Petunia))))..Cross de'm there Roots too Girlie...

Thanx Petals...your the neatest flower I know...even with a bum tooth and everything else you endure your heart of gold shines thru.

Eva

May the power of novacaine be with you.

[Evangelista]

Me thinks about this time tomorrow I will be wanting to be in a Universe Far Far Away..

Eva

[Evangelista]

whoops..make that a Galaxy Far Far away...been awhile since the old Star Wars saga...didn't get much rest last night.. nervous about this evenings appt with the Dentist, but determined to gut this out, and worry about unpeeling my hands from the dental chair afterwards...Thank you Petunia...

Eva

unpeeling my hands from the dental chair afterwards...

One finger at a time, kiddo...

Check in when you can.

[Evangelista]

Yipee...its over...he was really very gentle and positioned himself where I could see what he was doing, yet he did not lean over me..and he kept the instruments out of site...which REALLY helped...plus he did not spend allot of time in my mouth poking at things, he did it in short intervals which allowed me to close, ground, and focus.

all in all..actually made another appt for further work in a couple of weeks...and think it will be tolerable...

Thanx for all the support Petunia...see how nice my teeth look now... ....

Eva

see how nice my teeth look now... ....

Yes, they are BEAUTIFUL. Can I borrow a couple?

[woundedhearts]

Congrats. Glad you made it through.

[eskielover]

Eva,

I am glad you were able to go through with it. Some are great when they know how much fear you have....glad that was what happened with you.

I don't know when I will ever get up the nerve to go to the dentist....or what I need is an awsome oral surgeon. I am having problems even getting myself out of my house for things I am not even that afraid of...let alone trying to do something like dealing with a dental appointment knowing that almost all my teeth need to be pulled.

I don't exactly know what happened because when I was young, my parents had a dentist that we went to yearly & he wasn't exactly horrible. They said at that time, the enamel on my teeth hadn't completely formed when my teeth were being formed. I had been very sick, high temperature & a lot of antibiotics. They said that was what messed up my teeth. When I was in high school, I had already had most of my molars filled & had to have a cap on one because it had chipped. That was over 35 years ago. Since then, all the fillings had chipped out & the teeth around them had also chipped....some down to the gum, leaving only the roots. There is so much to do & I would have to be completely knocked out. I am a bit nervous because I am on such a high dose of fentynal (a narcotic for my migraines) that I don't know how I would do if I was put out on top of having that much narcotic in my body. I can't afford to go off that either because the migraines are so horrible.

I am glad your had good luck with your new dentist
Debbie

[Evangelista]

((((Woundedhearts & Debbie)))) thank you for the support..

Debbie I am so sorry that you continue to battle the painful existence induced by Trauma(s)...know that you are in my heart and thoughts..I would hope for you to know healing one day and wish you all the support and nurturing you need, as you continue to struggle, I know how hard it is living a life with PTSD, but people do it, and they amaze me, as you amaze me, as you support others when in so much pain yourself....gentle safe hugs..know that you are cared for and not alone...

Woundedhearts...Gentle safe hugs your way too..



Eva