[yelobird]

I've never been in combat per se (in the military that is) but lately I have been wondering if it is possible to have PTSD from childhood experiences, i.e. being afraid for your life most of the time/having physical fights with adults/other scary things.
I've been living alone since I was 16 and I thought my hyperawareness was a healthy/normal reaction for a girl living alone in a city, but for the first time in years I'm living with a roommate and she seems to think my behavior is very odd (she knows nothing of my history.) For instance if she is standing outside the bathroom door when I come out or if she sneaks up behind me I instinctivly go into a fighting stance, fists up. Any physical touch causes the same knee-jerk reaction. I stay up most of the night and when I do sleep it's usually between a half hour to 3 hours max, usually in the afternoon, because for one, it makes me nervous to be unconsious for long periods of time and for another, nightmares are usually less intense/easier to get over when it's light out.

Does any of this sound like PSTD?

[Teacake]

It sounds like ptsd. You wont lose your edge or be unsafe in the city if you treat it. You dont necessarily have to access a psychotherapist to treat ptsd. Ptsd is physiological. Start with your body. Anything that causes you to release "adrenaline" will make you jumpy, irritable and nightmarish. Coffee is bad for ptsd. So are stimulant drugs. So is unstable blood sugar. So is high histamine.

I like GABA for nightmares. 375mg of powder dissolved in water before hes and another bedside in case you wake should stop nightmares. You will still dream.

Naturally you do your own research and never take supplements because Internet strangers tell you to. I like Billie J. sahleys little books on GABA and anxiety.

If you fine it hard to sleep before dawn, read about adrenal health. Prolonged stress is hard on adrenal glands.

Some people find that ptsd is easy to fake for the rewards. Theres a lot of malingering. Remember that when you read online. Ptsd is treatable. The most effective treatments may be quite simple self help methods.

[yelobird]

Originally Posted by Teacake

It sounds like ptsd. You wont lose your edge or be unsafe in the city if you treat it. You dont necessarily have to access a psychotherapist to treat ptsd. Ptsd is physiological. Start with your body. Anything that causes you to release "adrenaline" will make you jumpy, irritable and nightmarish. Coffee is bad for ptsd. So are stimulant drugs. So is unstable blood sugar. So is high histamine.

I like GABA for nightmares. 375mg of powder dissolved in water before hes and another bedside in case you wake should stop nightmares. You will still dream.

Naturally you do your own research and never take supplements because Internet strangers tell you to. I like Billie J. sahleys little books on GABA and anxiety.

If you fine it hard to sleep before dawn, read about adrenal health. Prolonged stress is hard on adrenal glands.

Some people find that ptsd is easy to fake for the rewards. Theres a lot of malingering. Remember that when you read online. Ptsd is treatable. The most effective treatments may be quite simple self help methods.

Its interesting that you mention adrenaline and coffee...... probably a lot of things I am doing in my life is making myself worse. Thank you for the info, I will start to do some more research now that I know where to start.

[Quarter life]

I dont agree with teacake in any way shape or form....sorry teacake. But we aren't hippies living in a forrest waiting for 'nirvana' All us poor creatures have to find our own course through the PTSD minefield. Teacake makes out that all you need to do is listen your body. I don't suffer from PTSD because I neglected my physical health. I suffered an insidious trauma, no amount of suppliments or yoga is going to erase my memory. As I said, everyone looks different, everyone heals & copes differently. All the best yelobird....keep on swimming Q.L

[Bluenosette]

It very well could be PTSD. I was just diagnosed earlier this year and my trauma ended 20 years ago. I suffered for all those years not knowing what was wrong, thinking I was very crazy, and thinking I didn't belong. Now I have a better understanding of why I am the way I am. PTSD isn't who I am, but it has currently taken over my life. Reading up on it helps us understand it more, but also seeking medical attention is very important. You want to make sure there is nothing physically wrong, and a doctor can point you in the right direction to talk with someone who can help you.

[Open Eyes]

yelobird,

I don't think Teacakes suggestions were bad about trying to avoid things that can create you to feel hyped up which can aggravate or magnify the hyper vigilance that is present when someone has a troubled history. You may not have full blown PTSD but may be a candidate for it because of your history and how your normal is often that of hyper aware.

I can say that I had a troubled history myself and became hyper aware and would experience anxiety attacks. I didn't have full blown PTSD that finally did develop in me after having a major traumatic event take place. I did not experience what I have now in my past but as I mentioned I was hyper aware and did develop my own unique ways of self soothing and finding ways to develop a safe place so I could trust my environment enough to let go and actually sleep and rest.

I think you should look into this challenge and learn about it so perhaps you can avoid developing full blown PTSD.

[Teacake]

Originally Posted by Quarter life

I dont agree with teacake in any way shape or form....sorry teacake. But we aren't hippies living in a forrest waiting for 'nirvana' All us poor creatures have to find our own course through the PTSD minefield. Teacake makes out that all you need to do is listen your body. I don't suffer from PTSD because I neglected my physical health. I suffered an insidious trauma, no amount of suppliments or yoga is going to erase my memory. As I said, everyone looks different, everyone heals & copes differently. All the best yelobird....keep on swimming Q.L

Dont flame me.

PTSD is physical. It is physiological. Memories are generated by the BODY.

GABA is depleted after prolonged severe stress. Replenishing GABA will almost immediately reduce nightmares and night terrors, and over time normalise other brain chemicals.

Adrenaline provokes flashbacks. If you want to support the cessation of rumination, and flashback, and hyperreactivity, without losing your edge, keeping adrenaline in check will help.

You might be pleasantly surprised by what hanging out in the yoga asana pidgeon pose can do to relieve ptsd. Read about it before you disagree. Anyone whose had to fight knows how we contract over our groin and belly standing or curl up in a ball . Stretching the muscle that curls us up can help the body leave fight mode and relax into life mode.

We dont have to suffer. We can be happy in our bodies.

Especially young people can get over trauma and live joyful lives in bodies that feel good.

Wish that for all of us.

[Teacake]

Originally Posted by yelobird

Its interesting that you mention adrenaline and coffee...... probably a lot of things I am doing in my life is making myself worse. Thank you for the info, I will start to do some more research now that I know where to start.

Jonathon Shay is a psychiatrist and a Vietnam Veteran. His article Medication for PTSD has good information.

David Bercelis work is fascinating. He teaches a body therapy that is easy to do yourself. Its a series of gentle stretches followed by fifteen minutes of trembling. It feels really good. It sounds kooky, but if you read his book, it makes sense. This is incredibly valuable information. The method works.

Yes it is possible to have PTSD from childhood abuse & trauma, and depending on the severity and length, it's possible to have the more insidious form of it ... C-PTSD.

Here's a few links that may be of interest to you:

Pete Walker, M.A. Psychotherapy

Types of PTSD | Psych Central

Complex PTSD - PTSD: National Center for PTSD

It takes time to heal, but healing is possible ... There are many options available ... Find what works best for you and go from there.

I wish you the best ... It isn't easy, but it is doable.

Sincerely,
Pfrog!

[yelobird]

Originally Posted by Pfrog

Yes it is possible to have PTSD from childhood abuse & trauma, and depending on the severity and length, it's possible to have the more insidious form of it ... C-PTSD.
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It takes time to heal, but healing is possible ... There are many options available ... Find what works best for you and go from there.

I wish you the best ... It isn't easy, but it is doable.

Sincerely,
Pfrog!

Thank you so much for the links, I have a lot of reading to do!

[yelobird]

Originally Posted by Pfrog

depending on the severity and length

It was about 13 years, a little over half my life so far. I found it interesting that the last link groups Concentration camps, POW camps, and long-term child abuse together in possible causes.
I have an uncle who was in a POW camp and there are so many similarities between us, most recognizably (to an external observer) in the dumb little things we do that our families totally don't understand. For instance it's like physically painful to waste food. We're those people that get the rubber spatula out to clean out the peanut butter jar. I've been known to eat food I'm alergic to just so that it doesn't get thrown away, and made myself totally sick.

[bassrunnin]

OK just want to throw my 2 cents in...i agree with quarter life in stating that Teacake in someways is incorrect. Just like PTSD doesn't come from one situation for everyone, neither do the steps to healing. Yes, the body has to do with some of the symptoms. But it also depends on the initial trauma and whether it was ongoing, numerous incidents, and if it manifested itself into other co-conditions due to non treatment or age at which original traumas occurred. In my case I have complex PTSD which has plagued me my whole life. I often was able to overcome physical manifestations like anxiety, hyper vigilance etc by sports and other outlets. But it didn't heal the emotional side of the trauma as a child. All traumas are equal but some need to be handled differently. In my case, my whole identity has been defined by the events of my childhood. So not only do I have to deal with handling the physical symptoms, but I also have to go thru the process of rebuilding my self-image since it was based on false pretenses based on childhood abuse...make sense? I hope so. Also, in my case I have adult ADD, so caffeine actually puts me to sleep and sedatives keep me up all night, so our brain wiring is different as well.

[Quarter life]

Originally Posted by Teacake

Dont flame me.

PTSD is physical. It is physiological. Memories are generated by the BODY.

GABA is depleted after prolonged severe stress. Replenishing GABA will almost immediately reduce nightmares and night terrors, and over time normalise other brain chemicals.

Adrenaline provokes flashbacks. If you want to support the cessation of rumination, and flashback, and hyperreactivity, without losing your edge, keeping adrenaline in check will help.

You might be pleasantly surprised by what hanging out in the yoga asana pidgeon pose can do to relieve ptsd. Read about it before you disagree. Anyone whose had to fight knows how we contract over our groin and belly standing or curl up in a ball . Stretching the muscle that curls us up can help the body leave fight mode and relax into life mode.

We dont have to suffer. We can be happy in our bodies.

Especially young people can get over trauma and live joyful lives in bodies that feel good.

Wish that for all of us.

Believe it or not I too have read a book or two. It is my opinionthat it's missguided and a little myopic to believe that your way is the only way. I appreciate that you believe what you are saying is true, but I'm entitled to my own beliefs too. I trust we all are....yes? Ensuring my body is healthy and vital was and is a priority, but so too is understanding and coping with the damage that has been done to my psyche. When you say 'get over' trauma.....what does that mean? Do you mean forgetting? forgiving? accepting? Again, a healthy body doesn't guarantee any of these.

[CrimsonBlues]

Hello yelobird-

As other people who have posted here wrote, it is possible that the experiences you described are symptoms of PTSD. PTSD comes from traumatic experiences and trauma comes from multiple sources, not only combat. There have been some good suggestions from people on this thread for what might help with the experiences you're having but I strongly recommend that you begin by researching information on PTSD before concluding that is what is going on. There are other possibilities for what might be going on for you and it's important to know if you're on the right track before attempting types of treatment. You might also consider seeing a medical doctor to rule out any physical or medical factors. There are many excellent books written on the subject of PTSD. Self-help books for PTSD include a list of the criteria involved in an official diagnosis for PTSD. I think this would help you to find some answers, to check to see how many might apply to you. There are many universal ideas for what might be helpful in working through and dealing with PTSD but recovery is also as individual as each individual person with this diagnosis. What might work for one person could end up doing the opposite for another. As I wrote, I strongly recommend that you begin by reading as much as you can on the subject and perhaps enlist the help of a medical professional to help guide you. I wish you well.

[Bluenosette]

There is a lot out there for you to read on PTSD. I would also like to suggest podcasts if you are able to listen to them. I listen to them all the time, and it is quite educational and helpful.

[Teacake]

Originally Posted by Quarter life

Believe it or not I too have read a book or two. It is my opinionthat it's missguided and a little myopic to believe that your way is the only way. I appreciate that you believe what you are saying is true, but I'm entitled to my own beliefs too. I trust we all are....yes? Ensuring my body is healthy and vital was and is a priority, but so too is understanding and coping with the damage that has been done to my psyche. When you say 'get over' trauma.....what does that mean? Do you mean forgetting? forgiving? accepting? Again, a healthy body doesn't guarantee any of these.

What it means to get over trauma is an interesting question that deserves its own thread. To me it means living normally, in a relaxed-alert body, comfortably at ease with the evolution of spirit and psyche through trauma. I dont wish away what happened to me. Not for the world. I dont wish for nirvana...yet. its only when the body suffers that we wish away the material world. When the body is relieved, we can see with wonder what trauma has to teach us. We think the world should be one way. It isnt. Its a great thing to be able to love the bad beautiful world as it is, and make our tiny contribution to its betterment. P Hippie enough for you? Lol! But I mean it.

[Teacake]

I want to be clear that I advised yelobird to START with the body. I never said STOP there.

It is a lot easier to do psychotherapy in a body that is comforted and normalised.

No asana or supplement will take away our experiences. Helping the body return to normal makes it more possible to address the significance of the experience, to our psyches, our personalities, our societies, our spirits and souls.

[Maranara]

I have PTSD from childhood, from basically being held captive for almost 10 years by my mom. Not allowed to have any friends, phone number changed, me forced to aid and do things for her when she was drunk or otherwise incapaciated, and being totally ignored - I was the wall - when I did something to displease her.

[yelobird]

Originally Posted by CrimsonBlues

Hello yelobird-

As other people who have posted here wrote, it is possible that the experiences you described are symptoms of PTSD. PTSD comes from traumatic experiences and trauma comes from multiple sources, not only combat. There have been some good suggestions from people on this thread for what might help with the experiences you're having but I strongly recommend that you begin by researching information on PTSD before concluding that is what is going on. There are other possibilities for what might be going on for you and it's important to know if you're on the right track before attempting types of treatment. You might also consider seeing a medical doctor to rule out any physical or medical factors. There are many excellent books written on the subject of PTSD. Self-help books for PTSD include a list of the criteria involved in an official diagnosis for PTSD. I think this would help you to find some answers, to check to see how many might apply to you. There are many universal ideas for what might be helpful in working through and dealing with PTSD but recovery is also as individual as each individual person with this diagnosis. What might work for one person could end up doing the opposite for another. As I wrote, I strongly recommend that you begin by reading as much as you can on the subject and perhaps enlist the help of a medical professional to help guide you. I wish you well.

Thank you. Yes, I feel like I need to do a bunch of research. It's very confusing becuase while on one side, I'm totally jumpy and reactive and I feel like I'm constantly in "danger mode", if I ever start to calm down or if I get a little emotional about something I do stuff that actually engages my adrenaline response (driving fast/ skateboarding/ various risk-taking things) and that makes no sense becuase I don't really like being freaked out 24/7 but I keep putting myself back there if it starts to go away.

Originally Posted by bassrunnin

OK just want to throw my 2 cents in...i agree with quarter life in stating that Teacake in someways is incorrect. Just like PTSD doesn't come from one situation for everyone, neither do the steps to healing. Yes, the body has to do with some of the symptoms. But it also depends on the initial trauma and whether it was ongoing, numerous incidents, and if it manifested itself into other co-conditions due to non treatment or age at which original traumas occurred. In my case I have complex PTSD which has plagued me my whole life. I often was able to overcome physical manifestations like anxiety, hyper vigilance etc by sports and other outlets. But it didn't heal the emotional side of the trauma as a child. All traumas are equal but some need to be handled differently. In my case, my whole identity has been defined by the events of my childhood. So not only do I have to deal with handling the physical symptoms, but I also have to go thru the process of rebuilding my self-image since it was based on false pretenses based on childhood abuse...make sense? I hope so. Also, in my case I have adult ADD, so caffeine actually puts me to sleep and sedatives keep me up all night, so our brain wiring is different as well.

I too, have ADD (ADHD actually) and I drink almost an entire pot of coffee every day. I feel like its one of the only things that keeps me grounded and sane. I'm sure i'm probably slowly killing myself with it though.
(on a completly unrelated note, i've never met someone else who had that reaction to sedatives! One time I got given some sleeping meds- persription and meletonin- and i was awake for 3 days!! it was like i was on speed. I hated it.)

Originally Posted by Maranara

I have PTSD from childhood, from basically being held captive for almost 10 years by my mom. Not allowed to have any friends, phone number changed, me forced to aid and do things for her when she was drunk or otherwise incapaciated, and being totally ignored - I was the wall - when I did something to displease her.

I can relate to a lot of this...

[CrimsonBlues]

Hello yelobird-

Feeling like you're constantly in danger mode is one of the key aspects of PTSD. All the things you have mentioned in this thread sound like elements of PTSD. I can see why PTSD is a possible answer to what is happening for you. I can empathize with you-the various symptoms involved in PTSD can be excruciating, particularly when they are so relentless. I struggle with PTSD myself and if you ever want to discuss things in more detail or need someone to talk to, don't hesitate to message me. I hope that you find some peace that you so deserve.

[Quarter life]

Hi Yelobird, I'm sorry for my post on 'Navigating our own way through the PTSD minefield' I've been put in my place by another (see above) I don’t know if I'm right or wrong here, and I don’t advocate 'tirades' in another’s thread.....for this I'm sorry. All I'm doing is endeavouring to find answers that have been eluding me for 25 years, and in no way want to wear my 'Trauma' as a badge. One thing I do know for absolute certain, I will NEVER be thankful for losing three quarters of my life, what I went through in no way made me stronger. Trauma made me weak, it made me frightened of the world, it stopped me living a real life. I hope you find your answers, I hope you find release, I hope you find many kind people to help you along the way. Q.L