[Alishia88]

What do you do when you get overwhelmed with emotions in therapy?

I noticed what helps me is I focus intensely on specific things in the room
or myself, like the ring on my finger, parts of the painting behind my T´s head...

Also, is it okay to do that? Or do I have to experience ALL the emotions?

What I noticed is, it let´s me be able to stay with the subject...

[Open Eyes]

It depends Alisha, have you told your therapist that as you are talking you are trying to hold back your emotions this way?

I have a really good T IMO, I can talk things out with him and express the emotions that come with these deep challenges too. And when I have been able to do that, after a while he draws my attention to how, as I get through the emotional challenges, get to let it out, I eventually begin to get to a point where I have calmed down and can think better.

I have had to suppress my emotions a lot in my life even when I have been in severe pain, I was so full of toxins in my body cavity the pain was surreal and I was not yelling out in pain, I was moaning and I was literally yelled at to "shut up", well, I am lucky to be here because I was seriously ill.

Being able to let the emotional pain out without having someone insist I "be quiet" or try to "not feel", has been IMHO, helpful. Having people around you insist you should not cry in grief, or be angry because someone did something very wrong that really hurt you, is
wrong.

It's just my opinion, my T never tells me "I should not feel" either. I think it depends on what it is that is bringing up the emotions.

OE

[Alishia88]

hmm.. i´m not sure. Are you saying it´s a bad thing that I´m trying to stop these strong emotions?
I´ve been thinking about that, because they say you need to express all the emotions.

I think it´s what I do to keep myself from crying. I feel that if I started, I couldn´t be able to stop. Also I don´t think I´d be able to talk much more in that session because I´d be probably to embarrassed and emotionally overwhelmed and confused to think enough to speak... I´m confused

I think I´ve only cried once with this T and I think 2 other times with 2 other Ts mostly when I first met them and told them my story from the beginning because it´s just very overwhelming.

I didn´t like it. I almost felt "traumatized" from crying in front of them because I totally blocked everything out, I think I´m just too embarrassed then..

[Leah123]

Originally Posted by Alishia88

I think it´s what I do to keep myself from crying. I feel that if I started, I couldn´t be able to stop. Also I don´t think I´d be able to talk much more in that session because I´d be probably to embarrassed and emotionally overwhelmed and confused to think enough to speak... I´m confused

I didn´t like it. I almost felt "traumatized" from crying in front of them because I totally blocked everything out, I think I´m just too embarrassed then..

This was a key issue for me when I began therapy again after a 20 year break about 10 months ago, and I told my therapist exactly the same thing, that I wouldn't be able to stop crying if I started. That felt true for a long time. Once I trusted her enough, I did start crying. And crying, and crying, and crying. I hurt a lot, deeply. The crying was hard, painful, hard to be vulnerable, hard to stop, hard to endure.

But it has been deeply healing. The more I cry, the less stressed I become, not moment to moment, but over time. I am a dam whose walls have lowered and the waters can flow naturally, like a river now, instead of requiring such exhausting force to be held back.

The crying was a bit embarassing. I sob, loudly, when I'm upset. Sometimes, my nose runs, I look all red and puffy, etc. It's not pretty and I don't think it sounds too attractive, but...

we're not in therapy to win beauty contests or impress therapists with our strength. My therapist actually seems to feel closer to me, and be extra supportive and pleased with me as I open up to her and I increasingly feel safe and comfortable crying and that is a huge relief.

However, I also felt the need for some concrete tools to keep from feeling completely emotionally overwhelmed, and eventually we started DBT so I could take the edge off if I felt the need, and remember that my emotions would pass and I was okay, and didn't need to panic about them. One I'm using now is the pleasurable distractions I told you about. I cry, but... I also treat myself well, give myself a rest after doing that hard emotional work. At first... I'd just do the therapeutic work- talk, cry, trust, and not know how to cope after. The DBT helps a bit with that.

I think part of it is just a matter of trust though- as you feel comfortable with your T, you'll feel less need to distract yourself and start to let some of the emotion through, and she'll help you with it.

P.S. Just so I don't sound like the Mary Poppins of therapy, I'll answer your original question too: what do you do when you get overwhelmed in therapy?

These days, like I said, I cry and take care of myself. But... before that, before I was at that healing place, ha... I used to abruptly end my sessions when I got overwhelmed, or hide from my family so they wouldn't see me upset post-therapy, or cry for hours, or dissociate, etc. It was hard work to get to where I am now!!! But it did happen, just took time, patience, trust with a good therapist.

[Leah123]

Oops, duplicate post.

[Open Eyes]

I agree with Leah, it's a relief to be free to let the emotions out. When we have experienced "sad" things in our life, we need to be able to grieve them.

Alisha you should ask your T about it. Human beings are emotional, we are designed to express our emotions. All primates are designed that way.

You should not be ashamed of your emotions IMHO.

OE

[sweepy62]

Im just now learning how to let my emotions out , when I get overwhelmed, by the wY I just recently started crying after years of holding it in. I tend to focus on something in the room, and I just dissociate. My t grounds me.

[Rzay4]

I like disassociating and terrified of it at the same time. My newest T and I have our second appointment this Friday to begin trauma work. I'm a little hesitant and not excited very nervous though.

[sweepy62]

Trauma work is scary but it's about baby steps that's where I'm at feel free to pm me if u want

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[MotownJohnny]

Cry a little, try and compose myself, and drive home in a numb haze.