[Alishia88]

I was wondering what people here have tried because I read that there are so many types of doing memory work; EMDR, thought field therapy, prolonged exposure etc etc....

I was wondering about it because I feel like my therapist wants to "just" talk about it and I feel that with other techniques that are available out there, it´s easier because I don´t feel like I can "just" talk about it like I can talk about other things from my life.

What do you do in your therapy? Do you use certain techniques or do you just narrate what happened?

[Leah123]

A lot of it for me is sharing my story, just talking it through. It's painful, challenging, time-consuming but works very well for me. In addition to that, I've just started DBT to give me more concrete techniques to manage overwhelming emotions without letting them get the better of me. For example, with DBT I have a list of pleasurable distractions so when I really feel overwhelmed, I can do one of those to calm myself before working later if I need to on the emotional situation.

My therapist has also helped me somewhat during the talking with anti-anxiety exercises, like having me describe my office to her in detail, or visualizing my own perfect Christmas tree during the holidays to relax myself. On my own, I've also searched for and employed some concrete techniques, like filling a 'coping box' (mostly mental) with items to help me calm down if I start to have an angry outburst reaction, because eliminating those from my parenting is a main focus of mine.

In addition, though, we don't just talk about trauma, we talk about my day to day life and find solutions to make it less stressful and more pleasurable and rewarding.

It all works very well for me, with a focus on basic talk therapy, where the healing is in the relationship, having a kind, attentive, supportive witness to hear my story and help me work through it.

But there are lots of options out there, so if you've already spent a significant period of time in therapy and are sure the talk therapy's not working well for you, CBT is very popular for PTSD as is EMDR, increasingly.

[Alishia88]

thanks for your reply, Leah. What are your distractions and what´s in your coping box? (if you don´t mind sharing)

[Hope-Full]

After quite a while in talk therapy, my therapist had me add on DBT, and I began working with another therapist (in addition to my T) on this DBT stuff, which as much as I was against it at first, it's been VERY helpful. There are four parts to DBT - mindfulness, distress tolerance, emotional regulation, and interpersonal effectiveness. So far, I've found the mindfulness and emotional regulation skills helpful, and I'm in the process of working through the distress tolerance skills.

Like Leah, I have a self-soothe box (part of distress tolerance, works with the five senses) that I keep in my purse - contains something to trigger (positively) each of the five senses. I also have a distraction box. This stays at home, and is my go-to when I feel completely out of control and can't get myself back, usually when a flashback lasts long enough to disorient me. Here's a link to my distraction box and what's in it.

My newest tool is a fact list - where I ground myself in the moment by listing all the facts I can think of. It sounds simple, but it is kinda challenging for me, so it really helps bring me back to reality in order to list facts about the moment. For example, the other day I had a flashback while out walking my dog, so my fact list sounded something like this: it's snowing, there is snow on the ground, I'm wearing boots, I have gloves on, my dog is sniffing the snow, it is Tuesday, it is December, etc.

[Leah123]

My DBT workbook has a huge list of distractions and I got to go through them and check off the ones I was willing to try. It's really helpful to me because when I'm super-emotional, sometimes it's very hard to see past it. The pleasurable distractions include things like:

Cloud, bird, people watching
Go online and write a letter, sell something on ebay, research a hobby
Go to a movie, library, cofee shop, museum, park, etc.
Take a drive
Join a club, plan a trip, take a class or learn a new skill or hobby
Take a nap, get a massage, take a hot bath
Go for a hike, play a sport, plant something
Listen to upbeat music
Write a song or poem
Play with a pet
Write a list of things I like about myself

The ones I've used so far are making hot chocolate after a tough therapy session, working from a coffee shop instead of at home, writing a poem for my daughter, watching a funny tv show, taking a hot bath, bird watching, music, reading a good/easy favorite book, etc.

(There are also just distractions for avoiding harm, including things like:
Expressing anger safely like breaking cardboard boxes down, screaming, writing a letter telling someone how I feel about them and not sending it, using red marker on one's arm instead of cutting, etc. I've mostly focused on the pleasurable ones so far.)

In my coping box are an image of my daughter as a baby, which reminds me of the power differential between us when I feel like yelling at her, a figurine of Quan Yin, the goddess of compassion, a reminder that I can write to my therapist if I feel like losing my temper, a reminder to walk away/outside for a few minutes, and a soft scarf to comfort myself.

P.S. I do use other things for grounding, like Hope-Full alluded to- for me scents are helpful- I have a bundle of sage on my desk and a 'dragon's blood' bath bomb, which has a strong resiny scent. I also have lots of little affirming/distracting items on my desk, personal things that help me remember myself and cheer me up/keep me calm, at least a little.

[Leah123]

P.S. I wanted to share, I did get to a few points with my T where I needed more than just talk too, even though she sincerely believes and I mostly agree that the deep healing comes from talking it all through, that while I did that long-term work, I wanted short-term strategies to mitigate some of my symptoms, like the angry outbursts and the excessive fear, hence the DBT.

It took a while for us to come together on that, for her to understand, but now she seems to and that does help, if nothing else, helps me feel a little more in control and like I can do something concrete to change things.

[Auntie2014]

I found DBT very helpful. It has been awhile since my DBT but when times get tough I do dig out my skills info and start using them again. I have a journal program where I have them saved so I can go to them and work with them till I am feeling better. Something else that has helped is something that was from a friend in an email. Unfortunately she could not remember where she found it. I find when I am stressing my PTSD flashbacks happen more often so was looking for some way to problem solve release some of the stress. It is easy to remember the word SOCCER. S= state the SITUATION O= list your OPTIONS C=list the possible CONSEQUENCES C= CHOOSE an option that consequences are as acceptable as possible and do it E = EVALUATE the outcome R = RETRY if that didn't work It works for me and is easy to remember when I am in a difficult situation or am about to panic.

[Alishia88]

wow, I see DBT seems to be very populare and effective.

What workbook do you use? Maybe I could buy it and do some exercises myself, my T is basically a talk therapist, too.

[Leah123]

Originally Posted by Alishia88

wow, I see DBT seems to be very populare and effective.

What workbook do you use? Maybe I could buy it and do some exercises myself, my T is basically a talk therapist, too.

Here it is, about $15 on Amazon: The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook: Practical DBT Exercises for Learning Mindfulness, Interpersonal Effectiveness, Emotion Regulation & ... Tolerance (New Harbinger Self-Help Workbook): Matthew McKay, Jeffrey C. Wood, Jeffrey Brantley:

[ThisWayOut]

I've done EMDR for some of it and found it really helpful. I'm currently incorporating creative arts therapy into my talk time with my T. It's helpful to be able to express some of what I can't say. I tried DBT a several times and hated it each time. It's just not for me. While the concepts are great, the presentation is severely triggering for me, so I stay far away from it.
I think talk therapy works best for me, though I have yet to find a therapist that I am able to talk it through in detail (which I sometimes desperately need). I recently told my current T some of it, and she kinda told me the next session that she "didn't need to hear all the details" to be able to effectively work through it, but that she was taking my lead. I took that to mean that she does not want to hear them.
I really like the coping skills box/distraction box. I have several, one of which I actually wrote about in my blog yesterday... One of the items I have is a "grounding bracelet" that I made one time in the hospital. It's easy to take with me, and doesn't scream "coping skill" unlike my squishy toys (of which I have MANY).
I would like to give Prolonged Exposure a try some time for some of the stuff that I have not done EMDR for, and that talking has not really helped. I have not heard of thought field therapy yet, but will look it up...

[Alishia88]

thank you leah!

" "didn't need to hear all the details" to be able to effectively work through it, but that she was taking my lead. I took that to mean that she does not want to hear them."

Rain, I can relate to this very much.

When I started to talk about it, my T kept interrupting asking "what would have been better? What would have made it better?"

It irritated me a little because I felt, like you, like she wasn´t really interested in the details and didn´t want to listen to my story and so kept leading the conversation elsewhere.
That´s frustrating. I think if YOU feel like telling the details, and feel you need to, that you really do. It´s not about what "she" needs, but about what you need.

[ThisWayOut]

Originally Posted by Alishia88

thank you leah!

" "didn't need to hear all the details" to be able to effectively work through it, but that she was taking my lead. I took that to mean that she does not want to hear them."

Rain, I can relate to this very much.

When I started to talk about it, my T kept interrupting asking "what would have been better? What would have made it better?"

It irritated me a little because I felt, like you, like she wasn´t really interested in the details and didn´t want to listen to my story and so kept leading the conversation elsewhere.
That´s frustrating. I think if YOU feel like telling the details, and feel you need to, that you really do. It´s not about what "she" needs, but about what you need.

Exactly. I know she is a trauma therapist, and i know the theory is that you don't have to disclose all the details, but sometimes that is what helps a client. I understand also that she had to care for herself, but it's frustrating to constantly be made to feel like my thoughts on the subject don't matter. I keep trying to remind myself that maybe she is trying to underscore that there is no pressure from her to talk about it... i know that. The pressure is all from me.

[Auntie2014]

Originally Posted by Leah123

Here it is, about $15 on Amazon: The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook: Practical DBT Exercises for Learning Mindfulness, Interpersonal Effectiveness, Emotion Regulation & ... Tolerance (New Harbinger Self-Help Workbook): Matthew McKay, Jeffrey C. Wood, Jeffrey Brantley:

I have another book by Matthew McKay. If you google his name or go to Amazon and search his name in books you will find lots of self help books.