Coping with PTSD

Hello. I'm new to this site. I was recently diagnosed with PTSD, about 4 months ago. I was a productive and successful employee working for a high-profile company. After dealing with debilitating migraines for about a year, I had tried everything to get some relief; accupunctuntue, physical therapy, steroid injections, a mouthguard, medications, even Botox. I do have a neurologist, but was also referred to a therapist for depression, since nothing was working. My therapist then diagnosed me with PTSD. The supervisor that I had worked for was very combative and prone to rageful outbursts. This triggered the PTSD and the headaches. I went on short-term disability for 3 months. During this time, my supervisor left the company. He had quite a reputation there and it is amazing that he was there as long as he was. I tried to go back, but could not function. I had a migraine almost everyday, while dealing with the panic and stress. I have applied for long-term disability in December and was terminated from the company, the day after. I am waiting for a response on the ltd. I use to be so productive. Now, I can barely function. I need to work, but don't see how I possibly can. Life is bleak.

Hi purple Sinatra, welcome to PC. I am sorry to hear you have been so challenged. Being exposed on a daily basis to someone who is "toxic and can be abusive" for a long time can do more harm to us then we realize. Research has shown that people who are bullied in the work place can develop PTSD.

There can be headaches that happen with PTSD, I struggled with that myself. My headaches made me feel like my brain was being squeezed, and completely tired me out. I also have felt the headaches in the front of my brain too. I have been told that is a tension headache, but I am not so sure that is true.

Have you tried any medications that help with anxiety? If so have they helped with the headaches?

Also, I don't know if you are male or female. If you are female, hormones can have a lot to do with headaches. It could be connected to your hormone cycles and that is something you should consider.

I have dealt with PTSD for many many years, but never tied the migraines to it. I have suffered from migraines since my 20's (i'm 57 now), and I can only say mine are from the weather change. I finally got on a med called Topomax as a preventative, and take a migraine med to help when they get really bad.

As for the PTSD, the only way out for me was therapy. It took years and years to find the right therapist, but I finally found one for the childhood sexual abuse. It's hell isn't it? Especially difficult to work through all of it also. I had to eventually quit working as the depression just became too much. I feel for you, kudos for you to go into work everyday.

Take care. CG

I agree with casey, these things blindside you and hit like a ton of bricks.
good for you, stick to your guns, things really do get better.

Evidently, the PTSD was only triggered by my boss's abusive behavior, he was not the core of it. It was due to childhood trauma. I of course, had no clue what was happening and got diagnosed soon after. The headaches aren't solely due to the PTSD, but they are definitely a defense mechanism. I'm currently taking Topamax (as a preventative), Effexor ( an anti-depressant, but is also supposed to help prevent headaches), Sumatriptan (when they start coming on), birth control ( to keep my hormone levels in check: to help with headaches), Vicodin (for my neck, as needed) and a very low dose of Xanxax (for my panic attacks). Xanax actually gave me a headache, so I never take it. How's Ativan? I might try that. I'm also in some serious Psychotherapy. It's pretty hard core, but worthwhile and I love my therapist. I just can't see him that often, right now, due to funds. But he's pretty amazing. Thank you all for responding. It really helps.

Triggers; now that's a difficult one to avoid. It's truly amazing how triggers work. I remember when I was in hospital on the psych ward for depression, and had these ugly blankets, I was discharged and later visited a friend who was in the same hospital and in the same unit that I had been in, and the moment I saw the ugly blankets - - instant triggers back to the psych floor days. I could barely concentrate on our conversation because I kept looking at these stupid blankets. Just one thing can set you off.

This also happened when one thing would set me off if it triggered anything to do with the person that abused me. Took so long to get over this. I say I am over all of this, but I still get triggered, I just don't fall apart. Keep working kiddo, it's a tough road and keep in touch and keep working with your therapist, she/he sounds like the right person. Hugs.

((purple Sinatra)),

That is similar to what happened to me too. I had a traumatic event that began the PTSD symptoms. But what really pushed me into full blown PTSD was how the people responsible kept being "intrusive", how I was not helped the way I needed by professionals. But worse was that the attorney I had been working with had been declining mentally too. I was trapped in such a challenging scenario with him and kept trying to reach out for help, but I didn't have enough legal knowledge to be able to pin point the right way of explaining what he was doing wrong. That triggered the PTSD to get really bad and bring out things from my childhood that I had no idea I somehow stored the way I did or that could come forward the way it all did.

What made it even worse is that because I was suffering so badly from the PTSD, people were blaming "me" and not listening. That made the PTSD even worse and I actually began to get dangerously bad. My headaches got bad too and I was often so bad I would literally be in a ball under the covers in my bed.

This scenario went on for almost 5 years until I finally found an attorney that listened and was able to see how bad he was handling my case, and did know "he was losing it".

So I hear you, being trapped with a toxic person can trigger PTSD badly and it is very important to get away from the toxic person and also get the right therapy.

I am "so very sorry" you have struggled with that, I know first hand how hard it is. I am so glad you are getting help, be patient, you can make gains on this challenge.

((Caring Hugs))
OE

Caseygirl- thank you for all of the encouragement. I need it. Everything is new and hard to deal with.

Open Eyes- So, did you seek legal action? How did it turn out? I was going to go down that road and am curious. Another colleague was hospitalized for stress and has taken legal action.

purple, I am working with a new attorney who is trying to fix my case against my neighbor. She doesn't do malpractice suits and while she was really upset at how badly my case was mishandled, I get the feeling that all she wants to do is "fix" and doesn't want to get involved with taking action on another attorney. Attorney's do not like to do that, they have this kind of "legal relationship network" that they establish with each other during their practices because they often "do" interact and negotiate with each other so much.

The attorney that I had that handled my case "badly" used to be a very well known successful and respected attorney. He should have stopped practicing years ago but was stubborn and trying to hang on in spite of how the dementia was getting worse and compromising his memory and ability to actually "do tasks". When people develop dementia they try to deny it and they can dress and act as though they are smart and capable, however, upon closer inspection the reality is they can't remember and struggle to do tasks more and more, they can also have a short temper, which I experienced with him. He would make appointments and forget, also forget what he wanted to talk about, he would forget depositions, even when I begged him to remember. My now ex-attorney used to be part of a firm who dismantled and I knew that was to distance from him to avoid liability, but feeling sorry for him as he insisted on continuing to practice.

To give you an example of how bad it was I only got to get part of the opposing side deposing me in. That deposition ended with me going into flashbacks because the opposing attorney asked me which horse/pony got injured the worst. I had not even considered that kind of question, while one was very valuable dollar wise, to me they were all valuable, I loved them all and had spent so many years training and working with them that can't really be given a dollar value either. I actually could not answer and as I mentioned looking down at a diagram I had drawn trying to answer that question just threw me right into a flashback. People don't get what that means, it is embarrassing and not something I can "just" stop either.

I wanted to complete the deposition, get it over with, and my ex attorney failed to remember and inform me of the scheduled depositions the opposing side set with him to get that completed. Even when I literally "begged him to please remember and let me know" he still forgot and there is a failure to appear in my court files. He even filed the complaint wrong, thankfully he did mention that in the deposition I did have, however the opposing side with my new attorney tried to fight the correction. It has been almost 4 years and I still haven't completed being deposed. When I say "it is bad" believe me, it's bad.

I don't know if I can do a malpractice and at the same time keep my case going. I tried to ask about that and got the impression that was not something my new attorney wants to do/consider/take action on even though she was livid to see how badly my case was behind and mishandled and she knows my ex-attorney is losing it mentally.

Again, I would like to find an attorney that could advise me so I know what to do, without my new attorney knowing and who may get upset that I might upset the applecart somehow. The entire scenario has been and continues to be very triggering and at times outright crippling as far as how it really aggravates the PTSD.

My therapist has told me that in his years of experience with patients and attorneys, attorneys are very black and white and don't understand how crippling PTSD can be. I pray every day that the research being done on the brain and PTSD will be able to finally really show how keeping a person tied up in a lawsuit for "years" is very hard on the brain and out right "cruel" and "inhumane".

My neighbor is being protected by his insurance company, so it isn't costing him or really affecting their lives or financial status. Insurance companies have these attorney's on their payroll and the entire goal is to "avoid paying out on claims and to tie up the process and draw it out as long as possible so the person suing gets very warn down to a point where they will just want it over and be willing to settle for a fraction of the suit. I have read a lot about it and I can't believe how this "intentional prolonging" can be allowed to take place. Also it is common for "low ball settlements" to be offered right near Christmas with the idea that the plaintiff will be thinking about money for the holiday, and may give in.

A lawyer is only part of the game really, and develops a thick skin mindset and thinks mostly about "their own piece of the pie". They typically look at a case for overall dollar value and get a good idea how much they will be able to negotiate with the opposing attorney. Over the years they get to know the other players and they basically wheel and deal with each other with professional understandings that the average person doesn't really see or know about. That is why a malpractice attorney is not something many attorney's want to be a part of. That is why all my efforts to try to reach out for help with my other attorney was not anything other attorneys wanted to get involved with, he was well known and no one wants to touch that, even if he was "losing it".

It has been so hard to first have to deal with so much loss from a neighbor who is intrusive, disrespectful and out right negligent, and then see how "he" has more protection then "I" have. Even the police have been covering up because they did not come out when I called. They didn't realize that because they refused to come out, that because my livestock was my livelihood and not just pets, I could actually have sued them.

Honestly, I could go on and on about how bad it has really been. We think we have protection, but if anything done or isn't done is "wrong" somehow, it becomes every man for himself and the victim gets victimized over and over. And none of these people even know what PTSD means and all I can say is "thank god at least my T gets it".

I am so sorry for anyone who struggles, I truly know first hand how crippling it can be, and lonely, very lonely too. But I am thankful that at least PTSD is known about, and, that people are trying very hard every day to study it and find ways to help those who suffer from it. Someday, our technology will show how what I have endured is " like waterboarding and torturing and extremely cruel".

OE

OE, I'm so sorry that you had to go through all of this. I can only imagine how hard it was dealing your PTSD and everything, seeking legal help and then have to deal with all of that with the attorney. How awful! I just hired an attorney, so we shall see. Good luck with everything and keep me posted. Take care of yourself.