[Hellion]

So yesterday afternoon I wanted to punch my moms boyfriend in the face and then keep going. It took just about all the effort I had to restrain myself, I even had my fist clench and in my mind I was telling myself 'give me one good reason why I shouldn't' and well I thought of a couple good reasons.

But yeah essentially he tried to imply I didn't deserve to receive food stamps because I smoke cigarettes. I could understand him maybe bringing up that I could use money I spend on cigarettes for food if I was buying a carton every week and going outside to smoke every 10 minutes. But I typically buy 2 to 5 packs a month if that and I really don't think its any of his business.

But yeah not sure why that made me so mad, and I really only posted this here because I didn't really have anger issues before the PTSD, then again I probably was right to be angry...but it bothers me a bit I wanted to hurt someone even if they did say something really stupid and triggering.

[catsrhelm]

He was being a jerk. I would suggest you stay away from him. I mean who is he to judge who does and does not deserve food stamps?

[beauflow]

Having angry thoughts is human. Some are more violent than others while others aren't. The reason for angry thoughts though could be something to look into. As well as how we ourselves behave with our emotions.

Hellion not trying to be critical but over time the posts with your mom's bf haven't been healthy for you. I will admit I haven't read all your posts but the ones I have over time it appears that environment isn't healthy.
I know it's hard because I had to do it, but sometimes changing the environment and people: in our lives can give us more peace. This isn't to say that getting out of the environment you'll magically not have anyproblems, no tthe inner problems with one would still be there but it could be easier for one to heal and better themselves.

Many well thoughts your way.

[Hellion]

Originally Posted by beauflow

Having angry thoughts is human. Some are more violent than others while others aren't. The reason for angry thoughts though could be something to look into. As well as how we ourselves behave with our emotions.

Hellion not trying to be critical but over time the posts with your mom's bf haven't been healthy for you. I will admit I haven't read all your posts but the ones I have over time it appears that environment isn't healthy.
I know it's hard because I had to do it, but sometimes changing the environment and people: in our lives can give us more peace. This isn't to say that getting out of the environment you'll magically not have anyproblems, no tthe inner problems with one would still be there but it could be easier for one to heal and better themselves.

Many well thoughts your way.

I would tend to agree, and I would like to be able to potentially move out but right now I have no income so I can't really afford to. I am working on getting SSI though I have a feeling I might get denied at my hearing so I'll probably have to appeal again...which sucks because I really can't keep living how I am and a little income would really help that.

But yeah a change of environment probably would help.

[volatile]

Are there any places you could go? I lived with a friend for a couple of years and being away from negative people helped me TREMENDOUSLY. Maybe just visting a friend for a month could help. Anything just for a little vacation. I hope things go better for you.

[Hellion]

Originally Posted by volatile

Are there any places you could go? I lived with a friend for a couple of years and being away from negative people helped me TREMENDOUSLY. Maybe just visting a friend for a month could help. Anything just for a little vacation. I hope things go better for you.

Not that I know of...I'd stay with my dad, but he's living at a family friends house and said family friend doesn't really like people staying over too much. I have places to go to get out of the house for a little bit and there are the times my moms boyfriend isn't at home.

But yeah today they've been arguing a lot, but I am heading out in the next couple hours to go to a superbowl party so I'll have some time away from here.

[Hellion]

Either way I will be alright though, I do have a plan of action if things escalate...like if he makes a remark like that again and I feel in danger of doing anything violent I'll call the crisis line at my mental health center...and likely have a short term stay in the psych ward or something. I am not to thrilled about that idea, but its the most logical thing to do, anger makes people stupid including me