[sui generis]

Hellooo, first time posting in this forum, I'm usually hanging out in the bipolar forum

Every few weeks or so I get panic attacks and flashbacks relating to an incident that happened years ago. They almost always occur at night or during stressful periods and sometimes during parties. Another one hit me just 15 mins ago. God, I feel so bad. I've had two attacks this week. Weirdly I've started dry retching when I start getting anxious too. These attacks and invasion of memories are usually accompanied by voices telling me how worthless I am. I know it's just my brain acting up but it still hurts

Idk I guess this is kind of a rant I would be grateful for any words of support or advice

[Open Eyes]

Hi sui, I am sorry you have these flashbacks. Remember they come on like a wave and then they always recede. Feeling worthless or unworthy is also very common with people who struggle with PTSD. It is important that you find a good therapist to help you work through this, listens well, and you feel safe with. PTSD also presents fearful feelings, the emotional challenges that take place with PTSD are challenges all people struggle with yet the PTSD magnifies. It is also not unusual to have sensitivity to crowded places that are also noisy, so if you are at a loud party with a lot of activity taking place it can get you aroused/hyper sensitive and uncomfortable. People with PTSD are stuck in hyper arousal so they like to keep their environment quiet and safe if they can. Yes, night can be more of a challenge too because it is hard to just shut down when hyper aroused at the same time.

Are you taking medications and seeing a therapist?

[Stronger]

(((Sui)))
Panic attacks are the worst, huh?

One of the things that I've found helps me most is, believe it or not, breathing. Because when you are panicking attacking, you tend to be usually hyperventilating (am I right?).
So this is actually a DBT skill that I learned in the hospital, but it's really helpful, called 4x4 breathing...
Breathe in deep for 4 seconds, hold it for 4 seconds, breathe out all the way for 4 seconds. Then repeat that 4 times.
That, and also find a "reality object". For me it's my stuffed cow. I hold her/violently squeeze her when I need something that's outside of my mind, something that is real, in this world, something that will help anchor me back to reality.
Once you've done that, splash water on your face. Or dunk your face in a bowl of ice water, if you need the extra kick.

I hope that some of these tips help! And you certainly don't have to feel like you're the only one, mijo!

[sui generis]

Originally Posted by Open Eyes

Hi sui, I am sorry you have these flashbacks. Remember they come on like a wave and then they always recede. Feeling worthless or unworthy is also very common with people who struggle with PTSD. It is important that you find a good therapist to help you work through this, listens well, and you feel safe with. PTSD also presents fearful feelings, the emotional challenges that take place with PTSD are challenges all people struggle with yet the PTSD magnifies. It is also not unusual to have sensitivity to crowded places that are also noisy, so if you are at a loud party with a lot of activity taking place it can get you aroused/hyper sensitive and uncomfortable. People with PTSD are stuck in hyper arousal so they like to keep their environment quiet and safe if they can. Yes, night can be more of a challenge too because it is hard to just shut down when hyper aroused at the same time.

Are you taking medications and seeing a therapist?

Thanks for the reply I'm not on meds for ptsd, just bipolar. And I have to wait and process my acc forms before I can get counselling =\ I have to wait for the doctor to call sometime this week and go back to sort that out.

Originally Posted by Stronger

(((Sui)))
Panic attacks are the worst, huh?

One of the things that I've found helps me most is, believe it or not, breathing. Because when you are panicking attacking, you tend to be usually hyperventilating (am I right?).
So this is actually a DBT skill that I learned in the hospital, but it's really helpful, called 4x4 breathing...
Breathe in deep for 4 seconds, hold it for 4 seconds, breathe out all the way for 4 seconds. Then repeat that 4 times.
That, and also find a "reality object". For me it's my stuffed cow. I hold her/violently squeeze her when I need something that's outside of my mind, something that is real, in this world, something that will help anchor me back to reality.
Once you've done that, splash water on your face. Or dunk your face in a bowl of ice water, if you need the extra kick.

I hope that some of these tips help! And you certainly don't have to feel like you're the only one, mijo!

Yeah I need to remember that breathing thing! Reality object is an interesting idea, ha-ha I have a stuffed pikachu I could use But yeah whenever I'm having a panic attack I'm always wanting to grab or hold onto something so that makes a lot of sense.

[Teacake]

Originally Posted by sui generis

Hellooo, first time posting in this forum, I'm usually hanging out in the bipolar forum

Every few weeks or so I get panic attacks and flashbacks relating to an incident that happened years ago. They almost always occur at night or during stressful periods and sometimes during parties. Another one hit me just 15 mins ago. God, I feel so bad. I've had two attacks this week. Weirdly I've started dry retching when I start getting anxious too. These attacks and invasion of memories are usually accompanied by voices telling me how worthless I am. I know it's just my brain acting up but it still hurts

Idk I guess this is kind of a rant I would be grateful for any words of support or advice

I know almost nothing about bipolar. My usual advice for night terrors is to assume GABA is depleted and replenish ot with the amino acid GABA in powder form. This is counterindicated for bipolar and may also worsen depression.

Since you mention dry heaving. I am curious if you feel constriction or tightness in your chest similar to asthma? I have a tendency to run high histamine. It can cause me suicidal depression and trigger PTSD active symptoms. Histamine is a neurotransmitter, not entirely understood. High histamine triggers the release of adrenaline which triggers ruminations and flashbacks. Low histamine is associated with hallucinations. If perchance a persona histamine levels are just plain unstable, all sorts of unusual psychiatric symptoms may result. You ought not rey to force histamine up or down but a nutrient program to stabilise histamine might be helpful. Some people react badly to some foods or environmental exposures, in part because histamine is released in response.

Histamine levels are highest in the early morning and at dusk.

Do your own investigation. I hope you find some easy fixes to reduce yor symptom load. Dehydrarion, for example, elevates histamine. drinking sufficient water is a pretty easy fix for severe symptoms.

Godspeed

Teacake

[Bolivar83]

Dear Sui Generis: know your post was a few days ago, just wanted to reach out & see how you were doing. When I'm stressed out I can get triggered - also have the condemning voices, feel like I'm dying. I used to have night terrors every night, but they've tapered off, somewhat. When I'm under a lot of stress, they kick back in.

Am also bipolar and on meds for it. Therapy has really helped my PTSD. It still flares up, but I feel it is more manageable than it initially was. Time has also smoothed some of the rougher aspects of it. Sometimes it still comes out of left field, though. Therapy has helped me deal with it a little better - I have a list I work down: card in pocket, "realize you are having a panic attack..etc"; breathing deeply; getting to a place I can sit in silence where I feel safe; calling my sister; sitting with my pet, blah blah

sometimes it's just helpful to hear others are dealing with the same thing - I hope it is so for you.

Take care! - Bolivar

[Hellion]

I don't get much of that at night usually, though I usually have two cats sleeping in my bed or at least one and a light on a little...in case I did wake up in a panic, as the last thing I want is to wake up in complete darkness giving my mind free reign to cause scary visual stuff. Do you have any pets or interest in them? they can be comforting to a lot of people...I have had it happen at family get togethers so I am careful about going to those, other sorts of parties or largish events sometimes I can handle it but not if i am already stressed or feeling on edge. I prefer not to go if I think I'll end up locking myself in the bathroom for an hour when I get too overwhelmed or feel like things are on the verge of impending doom.

Fairly recently I had a combined flashback/panic attack...just alone in my room during the day. When I felt it coming on I figured I should try and take some valium to calm it since its prescribed for panic attacks...but I was already shaking really bad and when I attempted to get up to get the valium out of my desk I couldn't even stand so I had to crawl over and get it...and once I took it I layed there curled up for a half hour till I wasn't paralyzed with fear from the non-existent threat anymore. Kinda glad someone didn't walk in on me in that state probably would have just told them I had a bad stomach ache or special time of the month cramp though not sure I had the ability to speak at that point.

Sorry I don't have much in the way of advice, but you certainly aren't alone with the panic and flashbacks...it really does suck.

Originally Posted by sui generis

Hellooo, first time posting in this forum, I'm usually hanging out in the bipolar forum

Every few weeks or so I get panic attacks and flashbacks relating to an incident that happened years ago. They almost always occur at night or during stressful periods and sometimes during parties. Another one hit me just 15 mins ago. God, I feel so bad. I've had two attacks this week. Weirdly I've started dry retching when I start getting anxious too. These attacks and invasion of memories are usually accompanied by voices telling me how worthless I am. I know it's just my brain acting up but it still hurts

Idk I guess this is kind of a rant I would be grateful for any words of support or advice

Sounds like you should seek help for your PTSD. It seems to be getting pretty serious nowadays and you should probably get it checked out. People with PTSD that develop hallucinations as a result are at a high risk of developing more serious mental health problems

[sui generis]

Originally Posted by Hellion

I don't get much of that at night usually, though I usually have two cats sleeping in my bed or at least one and a light on a little...in case I did wake up in a panic, as the last thing I want is to wake up in complete darkness giving my mind free reign to cause scary visual stuff. Do you have any pets or interest in them? they can be comforting to a lot of people...I have had it happen at family get togethers so I am careful about going to those, other sorts of parties or largish events sometimes I can handle it but not if i am already stressed or feeling on edge. I prefer not to go if I think I'll end up locking myself in the bathroom for an hour when I get too overwhelmed or feel like things are on the verge of impending doom.

Fairly recently I had a combined flashback/panic attack...just alone in my room during the day. When I felt it coming on I figured I should try and take some valium to calm it since its prescribed for panic attacks...but I was already shaking really bad and when I attempted to get up to get the valium out of my desk I couldn't even stand so I had to crawl over and get it...and once I took it I layed there curled up for a half hour till I wasn't paralyzed with fear from the non-existent threat anymore. Kinda glad someone didn't walk in on me in that state probably would have just told them I had a bad stomach ache or special time of the month cramp though not sure I had the ability to speak at that point.

Sorry I don't have much in the way of advice, but you certainly aren't alone with the panic and flashbacks...it really does suck.

Yeah I have a cat and I love having her around when I'm feeling anxious but not necessarily when I'm having a panic attack; I think I'd scare her

Actually I have just noticed that my panic attacks usually happen in really calm, quiet places. Even when I'm at a party, it's always when I'm in the bathroom and I'm just by myself I suddenly get those horrible memories about the traumatic event.

Originally Posted by Bolivar83

Dear Sui Generis: know your post was a few days ago, just wanted to reach out & see how you were doing. When I'm stressed out I can get triggered - also have the condemning voices, feel like I'm dying. I used to have night terrors every night, but they've tapered off, somewhat. When I'm under a lot of stress, they kick back in.

Am also bipolar and on meds for it. Therapy has really helped my PTSD. It still flares up, but I feel it is more manageable than it initially was. Time has also smoothed some of the rougher aspects of it. Sometimes it still comes out of left field, though. Therapy has helped me deal with it a little better - I have a list I work down: card in pocket, "realize you are having a panic attack..etc"; breathing deeply; getting to a place I can sit in silence where I feel safe; calling my sister; sitting with my pet, blah blah

sometimes it's just helpful to hear others are dealing with the same thing - I hope it is so for you.

Take care! - Bolivar

Yeah I'm supposed to be starting therapy soon! I haven't actually made the appointment yet... The lady I want to see is away till early July and also I'm feeling apprehensive about the whole thing. I've been to therapy before but I've never talked about ptsd and what happened.

Originally Posted by Steve223

Sounds like you should seek help for your PTSD. It seems to be getting pretty serious nowadays and you should probably get it checked out. People with PTSD that develop hallucinations as a result are at a high risk of developing more serious mental health problems

Ahh I'm not having hallucinations, they're more like memories that are sort of "attacking" my mind, usually clear and jumping from one "scene" to another, if that makes sense? Is flashback the wrong term here? Just asking so I can also be more clear when communicating with my future T.