[lightcatcher]

Has anyone experienced anything like this:

T and I have been working together for a while, I was officially given a diagnosis of PTSD and we have been slowly talking over stuff. Not the traumatic stuff (specific csa stuff) but other traumatic stuff. This is the first time I've ever opened up about any of this and my feelings (even though I don't feel like I've made much progress). This is the first time I feel as though I have someone.

This progress could be looked at as good. I'm now feeling like my body is giving up, like it's telling me to stop by becoming exhausted. It's like my mind has changed gears to letting down some of the defences and now my body is giving up holding up the rest? I hope this make sense?

Anyone ever had this?

[Blitter2014]

To me it sounds like the aftermath of an adrenaline rush.

It probably took so much for you to open up and talk about things you've bottled for so long, that takes a lot out of you. A real lot. I know when I finish with my T I feel better, but am wrecked just because ever y thought you talk about is confronting. Its mentally and emotionally draining and your body produces adrenaline for you to talk about such buried memories. Well thats my experience. ..

You sound like you are mentally and physically exhausted......but better for letting "it" out and somone else "in".
You've done well

Sent from my GT-I9305 using Tapatalk

[JaneC]

I do relate...a lot!!

Tonight, completely physically(and mentally) exhausted. And often am especially after talking with my T....and like you I have not began on the trauma work per se. Some sessions i just say, enough I ma exhausted by the end....I physically am slumped over!

This stuff is hard work, not just mentally/emotionally.

[(JD)]

Yes, it is progress (and no, we don't sense it well.)

Once you have a session or two like that, clearing some data, you do need to rest. To continue to push will put you farther behind actually.

The good news is that once you have worked through even "smaller" traumas than what officially caused your PTSD, the brain learns how to file those types of memories and will continue to do so. This means you won't have to work through all of your negative memories! (The brain might use some dream-time to do this though, so don't be triggered by those negative dreams should you recall any.)

[Open Eyes]

Yes Lightcatcher, it is not unusual for therapy to be exhausting sometimes. Some people who struggle and have a history of abuse/neglect of some kind get exhausted just by opening up and trusting, as part of them is waiting to be invalidated somehow because they have been "hurt" and had many negative messages.

The feeling of finally having someone is how many PTSD sufferers feel when they find a therapist that helps them feel safe and actually "listens" and validates. PTSD sufferers do search for a "rescuer" to help them and validate them and comfort them and defend them. This drive to find a rescuer is deep within most human beings, it is really there to ensure our survival. When we are heard, understood, and find positive structure in our lives, we thrive.

Trauma stops people in their tracks and threatens them deeply. When that happens the person often gets very confused and experiences emotional surges that become more than they can handle or sort through and calm themselves. The fight and flight responses get very strong because the person is so emotionally confused.

As we develop we slowly learn about our emotions, we all do. In that process we slowly learn how to develop more control over our emotions too. All of us depend on the people in our environment to help us understand our emotions and what to do with them as well as when it is ok to express them if we need to send a strong message to others.

If we do not have a nurturer that knows how to listen to our emotional challenges as children we can grow up with different ways of trying to manage them ourselves and not even realize that some of the ways we try to manage our emotions may be unhealthy or create a self esteem problem that we often try to "protect". Whatever we learn to do in order to self protect simply gets deeply set into our subconscious minds too.

When we experience a trauma of some kind the result is to have a great need to talk about it, have someone listen, comfort us, and validate us. This is when we begin to search ourselves too so we can somehow find a balance so we can feel comfortable enough to move forward. If we do not get the correct validation and comfort that we need, it compromises us emotionally and as we try to figure out how to stabilize ourselves emotionally, we can end up experiencing some of the different ways we were compromised emotionally in our past.

When we experience a Trauma, it is very common to not know how to process it emotionally to begin with. When we experience that, we begin to "avoid" any reminders of the trauma and it is often taking place in the subconscious part of us, and the conscious mind doesn't quiet know how to monitor this challenge either.

As the brain is being studied we are learning more about how the different parts of the brain sends messages and has a conversation within itself that we all develop over time and by different experiences we have in our environment. What we have learned is how the frontal part of the brain, the conscious mind acts as a monitor and learns to shut down and allow the subconscious conversation to take place all on it's own, it's actually pretty amazing. When a trauma happens and a person develops PTSD, this process is affected and the frontal part of the brain begins to struggle with "just" shutting down like it used to while the subconscious rest of the brain interacts back and forth in different areas of the brain. The person does become more aware, and, more sensitive and as everyone who is struggling knows, it is not only confusing to understand but also hard to explain to others as well.

Yes, it takes time and patience to slowly learn what it means and work through whatever you have in this network that now challenges you. Yes, this process can be exhausting, however, as you work through it you finally get a chance to repair and understand yourself on a whole new level too. Yes, it often feels like a lot of work and it does tap into the emotions too, and that is what often presents a lot of chemicals that can be very hard to manage, however, with the right therapist who does understand this challenge, the person struggling with PTSD can finally get the help they need to slowly rebuild these challenged areas of the brain and slowly learn to rebuild a healthier network to replace whatever areas they may struggle with and need to learn how to be better understood and finally managed in healthier ways.

This effort to "repair" has nothing to do with intellect or true unworthiness either, even though many who struggle have these questions as they are working on slowly "healing" whatever they have that challenges them.

A woman named Judith Herman spent a lot of time learning about this with people who struggle and she wrote a book about it called "Trauma and Recovery" where she breaks this "healing" process down into three stages of understanding, mourning and gaining new skills that finally allow the individual to get to a level where they are ready to engage life on a new level of understanding.

OE

[Hellion]

Maybe it means you are exhausted, and need to slow down even more...usually that is what i take it to mean when I feel that way even if it seems like its ridiculous the pace I am going with something would cause too much stress.

Also mentioning it to your therapist might be a good idea, maybe there is a better approach they know or they'd just suggest taking things a bit slower when it comes to discussing traumatic stuff and feelings about it. Either way it is good for them to know if you're feeling exausted or overwhelmed.

[lightcatcher]

Thank you all so much for your kind words! Some very valuable information here . I've been feeling this way for a couple of months now, waiting on some tests. My work is crazy too which doesn't help, and I don't know how to make that let up.
I'm tired all the time, in every way. I need to look at every thing that is going on and make some changes. Anyone got tips on what to look at changing first?

[lightcatcher]

Originally Posted by (JD)

Yes, it is progress (and no, we don't sense it well.)

Once you have a session or two like that, clearing some data, you do need to rest. To continue to push will put you farther behind actually.

The good news is that once you have worked through even "smaller" traumas than what officially caused your PTSD, the brain learns how to file those types of memories and will continue to do so. This means you won't have to work through all of your negative memories! (The brain might use some dream-time to do this though, so don't be triggered by those negative dreams should you recall any.)

Thank you for mentioning about the dreams, woke up this morning from a dream which left me in tears, must be doing some work even when sleeping eh!

[Open Eyes]

It could be that while you found a therapist that you feel safe with, you have just been able to get a certain amount of safety and you don't know how to even begin going any deeper, it has a lot to it and often just the thought of trying to break the ice on it is tiring.

How I managed to get past that is to first bring up the topic in a conversation so I could see how my T responded. I used some example of what I read here in the forums and how I was moved by certain stories. That is when my T talked about CSA and he was quite knowledgeable about it and that allowed me to add in a little bit of myself to let him know I had experienced things myself. I kept our conversation mostly about the overall subject so I didn't have to dig too deep into it and had some time to think about it.

You don't always have to approach your secrets with telling them, you can choose to just discuss the subject first. Whatever you have experienced, believe me, you are not alone and a good therapist knows to go slowly with these kind of challenges their patients struggle to discuss. You don't have to get graphic either, what is important is understanding that part of your life better, something you probably set aside but have challenges with that you never felt comfortable talking about.

[ThisWayOut]

I can relate. yesterday exhaused me in therapy... just keep breathing.

[lightcatcher]

Originally Posted by Open Eyes

It could be that while you found a therapist that you feel safe with, you have just been able to get a certain amount of safety and you don't know how to even begin going any deeper, it has a lot to it and often just the thought of trying to break the ice on it is tiring.

How I managed to get past that is to first bring up the topic in a conversation so I could see how my T responded. I used some example of what I read here in the forums and how I was moved by certain stories. That is when my T talked about CSA and he was quite knowledgeable about it and that allowed me to add in a little bit of myself to let him know I had experienced things myself. I kept our conversation mostly about the overall subject so I didn't have to dig too deep into it and had some time to think about it.

You don't always have to approach your secrets with telling them, you can choose to just discuss the subject first. Whatever you have experienced, believe me, you are not alone and a good therapist knows to go slowly with these kind of challenges their patients struggle to discuss. You don't have to get graphic either, what is important is understanding that part of your life better, something you probably set aside but have challenges with that you never felt comfortable talking about.

Thanks OE! T knows about my csa, as I've written on it and T has read reports. Your right about the breaking the ice thing, some days I feel like I'm chipping away at steal .

[SkyWhite]

I can really relate. I've been exhausted for awhile now since talking about my abuse. I'm starting to learn it comes with the territory.

Give yourself some extra nap time. That works for me.

[Parley]

Yep and if I shed a tear, hours later, it still feels like I cried for days. It's rough.