Hate.

I hate people who hurt me. Not all the time. Sometimes I can be downright equanimous. But sometimes I hate them. I hope aliens herd them like cattle and run them off a cliff.

The people I hate more than people who hurt me are people who pretended to help but didn't. I forgive my enemies. I do not forgive inadequate helpers. God choke them.

Its a painful thing to experience. Maybe I can shake it off. Maybe I can press It out. I'm always saying the body relieved of tension allows the mind to let go remarkably easily.

I think Its important to own it all. Maybe in fifteen minutes i will shake It off and feel happy. Right now Its settled under my shoulder blades and it hurts and my mind is searching for horror movies bad enough to wish on folks. Isn't that just pitiful?

What on earth ARE we?

Hello, Teacake. We are a product of our genes and upbringing. Hate is futile. Forgiveness is a process, and a much better choice. Making our wellness a priority perhaps will allow us to desensitize the past and maximize the future.

I wish you well.

It's understandable to feel angry at other people at times. I'm sorry that you feel more hate and anger towards people who have tried to help, because that hate and anger can sure convince people to stop even trying. I sometimes get really angry and hate the fact that I have been unable to accept the help that others have offered me, or that it just didn't do anything... but I never feel that hate or anger towards the person, because no one has to go out of their way to try and do anything for me... and even the people who are paid to take care of others, well, they're human too.

As for what we are? We're biological organisms; mammals. That's really about it! We're mostly empty space, bacteria, and water but somehow that amalgamates into "human". Weird right?!

Teacake, I think that probably those of us with PTSD struggle with forgiving those who've harmed us. The pressure to forgive is enormous and, if possible, IMO, freeing. That being said I don't think I will ever be able to forgive those who inflicted the grievous trauma upon me that has tortured my whole family. I don't know about you, I found the pressure to forgive made me feel worse. I "should" forgive. Sorry, I can't, maybe someday...can't bank on it. I felt a sense of relief when I shared with my family, counsel and friends how I actually hated these people and didn't think I could ever forgive them. Weird, what a relief and I don't feel so consumed with rage. The responses from my confidants: Compassion.
Teacake,
What follows is an interesting op-ed in the NY Times regarding forgiveness. I hope it helps.

Sometimes It’s Good Not to Forgive
By ALINA TUGEND
Published: February 22, 2013

It has become somewhat common wisdom to believe that forgiving a person who did you wrong is not just the right thing to do, but will make you emotionally, and even physically, healthier in the long run by alleviating the anger and stress you feel.

But Professor Murphy warned against assuming that forgiveness was always the right answer and that someone who failed to offer forgiveness was “not a good person or a mentally healthy person.”

“It’s a good thing and a blessed thing to forgive, but I am skeptical of any universal sentiment,” he said. “Some people may be liberated by forgiving. Some may be liberated by getting even. Saying that people should automatically be forgiven doesn’t do justice to different moralities and different psychologies.”

I was going to ignore this thread because I didn't want to be educated on how wrong I am with talk as if someone only pissed in my cheerio's.

When I am feeling the hate~ I don't have the compassion for a push or the desire for assistance. If I start throwing in some aliens will that make it more acceptable?

I think that's my two cents. I've been fighting this nauseous feeling for a few days now and I'm not in the mood to change my mind so I need to watch my indulgence.

I don't know about shaking it off but hopefully you're not drowning in it right now. I think being happy at the moment might be stretching it a bit but maybe you can get to content. Best of luck.

Nice. I've never refused to forgive anyone who has asked my forgiveness.

I am comfortable wirh my hatred. All it is really is rejection. I don't owe the worlds occupants my unconditional love and acceptance. It's ok of I reject some folks as being too annoying to deal with.

It is very important to learn how to stand up and say when something is not good enough.

We are social animals, pack animals. People who are inadequate or unwilling to go out out of their way to help one another are shirking their evolutionary imperative and abdicating their humanity.

Wouldn't the people who are inadequate be the ones who are deserving of help themselves?

And no, they aren't shirking their evolutionary imperative nor abdictating their humanity. There would be millions of people deemed to no longer be human based on their incapability to help others... and if someone is inadequate at helping others, then they are unable to help themselves. Which means that people who can't help themselves, aren't human, and why should others help them? Sorry, but your logic is driving me in circles right now.

But that does not make me inadequate.

People who are unwilling to help others are douchebags, but people who try and aren't able to? There is nothing wrong with them, and they aren't deserving of hate. They tried.

Many social animals do not always look out for each other - male lions will eat/kill any cub in their pride that wasn't fathered by them, rabbits will cannibalize their offspring, dolphins will harass a pregnant dolphin until she aborts the baby just to have sex with her, etc etc. Those are all social creatures, and those are certainly not instances of helping. Are those animals douchebags too? Sure are! But being social animals doesn't necessitate always helping each other out - humans help out much more than other species do, as we do try to take care of the people who wouldn't be able to survive on their own, and that is not often the case in the animal kingdom.

this is not the only forum to deal with this subject this morning. you might take a look at this thread in the Emotions Forum:

http://forums.psychcentral.com/copin...ml#post3888340

or i'll repost my comment:

Aversions and rejection are pretty central to health and survival. I have learned to follow my intuition.

Can I feel compassion simultaneous to hatred? Of course. Compassion is not idiot compassion. Idiot compassion is a refusal to discern what is harmful from what is good.