[CosmicRose]

I'd like to hear from other people who have PTSD about how it affects you at work, or if your coworkers and boss know about it, or if you've chosen to keep it to yourself and manage your symptoms on the down low?
What has helped you manage your symptoms, whether its at work or just in general?
Thanks -
I have PTSD and it sometimes affects me while I'm consulting with clients, nothing majorly noticeable but its a little embarrassing

[Evening]

I freak out at the thought of angry customers, I start shaking, get a huge adrenaline rush and have to use every ounce of strength not to cry. It makes me think I could miss out on good opportunities because I get too scared to be caught in one of those situations.
I have constant anxiety attacks that I've done something wrong, and I have the problem with my face going red at the drop of a hat. I mean literally that I cannot even say the word 'red' without it possibly being a trigger. Isn't that ridiculous?

I don't know how much people notice, or if anyone is aware something is up, but what goes on in my mind and how it all affects me is bad enough.

[CosmicRose]

I can totally relate - the shaking has always been the worst for me. Sometimes I can't even hold a pen without having shaky writing in front of some people, and I hate when they stare at whatever I'm writing intently because it takes all my energy to hold it together. People just stare at me like I'm crazy if they notice me shaking...which makes me shake more. Then it feels like my brain goes on autopilot in that moment and can't come back to the present until the situation is over.
I don't turn red because I'm tan but my face can't hide the fact that I'm uncomfortable because I'm so easy to read. Never learned how to hide my feelings like other people seem to do with ease. If I feel even slightly uncomfortable, many people can tell - I don't know how but they can!

Well, my work place triggered some of my past trauma but it also created new trauma and I had an unsupportive work environment that didn't take care of their employees so I quit recently after 16 years. I need to find another job and its also affecting that now.

[Chartres]

Hi everyone, I recently started reading threads on the PTSD forum and this is the first time I am posting here. I am just starting to understand how ptsd is affecting my life. It is a relief to know that there are reasons why I have such a hard time sometimes.

As far as work goes, the main way I'm realizing ptsd affects me is by causing me to shut down. When I get triggered, I cannot deal with work at all. So I will stay home and ignore emails and obligations. My boss knows some of what I am dealing with and she is very understanding. I also have a work structure where I have a lot of flexibility with my work hours, as long as I get the job done I don't necessarily have to be in the office all the time. I feel extremely fortunate to have this flexibility - otherwise I don't know that I could hold down a more traditional 9-5 M-F job.

Still, this has caused me to be erratic in my job, and I'm pretty sure that some of my coworkers comment behind my back. There have been times when I have wanted to tell them everything that is going on for me. I actually talked to a workplace councillor about this and she advised against it. My work is going through layoffs soon so she said that she didn't think I would get the understanding I want from them because there is already so much turmoil in the department. So I have had to just let go of other peoples thoughts about me. Frankly, a lot of them simply don't have the capacity to deal with what I am dealing with, so if they think badly about me then screw them.

[Hellion]

Well the PTSD in combination with my other issues prevents me from holding a job to begin with. But I imagine I'd get triggered pretty easily on the job and don't think I could handle the stress without some kind of mental breakdown...could be bad for me, others and there could be property damage so yeah probably best I am not in the work force.

[kala83]

I have not yet had to deal with an actual symptom or trigger going on at work but I am honestly horrified this is going to happen at some point.

and I guess I am trying to decide if working, right is a good or a bad thing for me to do.

What I want is to stop...to take a break to maybe go on disablity. I hate saying that I want to be able to work to gain money and to do things for myself...but right now with how badly my PTSD is effecting me just do not know fully if I can handle it.

I don't know fully if I can handle being in a relationship right now.....to have to be put into a corner...where I am asking all this ****ing sucks ***. I thought I was on a better path then all this and then in just a few weeks. I start realizing I am struggling more now then I was before.

I know a lot of people don't thinks thats true but it actually is.

if I do end up stopping work at least I can take some pride and honor in the fact...that when or if I do decide I am at a point where I can do....it....I know no...from the upwards of nearly 9 to 10 months that I can in fact hold down a job over a six month period of time.

And lol sadly at the age of thirty most of my jobs, where only a little under six months anyway. So for me to have a job and to have kept it as long I have I need to give myself credit in that, that is something.